[splitimage]

I've been going to the same T for 9 years. I totally trust her, feel comfortable with her, and continue to benefit immensely from therapy with her. it's just that lately my therapy has been really disrupted with a lot of time changes. I think I've said before that her practice is half clinical 1/2 research and teaching. Well the research and teaching part is becoming bigger. She's always flying off somewhere to be an expert witness or to run training sessions on women and trauma and the latest thing is she's become a consultant to the Stephen lewis foundation for Africa, helping set up trauma counselling centres for victims of rape during war. On the one hand, I think it's great that she's doing all this, she's helping other people and keeping current with the research which I get the benefit of. It just throws me when she has to reschedule our appointments. I'm kind of used to Tues pm being therapy time, and I feel a bit disrupted when it doesn't happen. I guess I'm also feeling like a bit of a whiner, because she always does reschedule, 90% of the time in the same week, and that a bit of a change in schedule shouldn't bother me. But it does.

--splitimage

[kim_johnson]

i'm not sure why you think it 'shouldn't' bother you. i don't know many people who it wouldn't bother... it would surely bother me. i'm not happy when my therapist gets sick or when he takes a (fairly rare) week off. i'd surely be even less happy if he kept changing my sessions around and / or cancelling them on fairly short notice.

i hear that you feel that your therapist is a really kindhearted person and that she is trying to help people who really need her. when i hear that... i feel really small, though. like... in comparison to that i don't matter - and i feel sad. i surely don't want to feel jealous of all these other people who need her too. perhaps... perhaps people who need her more than me... but i'm just so sad that she isn't there for me and maybe (very reluctantly) a little jealous of those other people.

not sure how you feel... but i guess i'd think it would be understandable that you would feel like that. that is how i'd feel at any rate...

is there any way that you could talk to her about this? it sounds like she does have a lot going on... but the thing is... maybe it is time for her to have a look at how she is distributing her time. scary... but i guess... it might be best to know?

(((((((((((((((((( splitimage ))))))))))))))))))

This would bother me too. For me, it's important to know my T is "there" for me, and that I'm the most important thing he has going on during my scheduled therapy time. I think it would make me feel really small and unimportant if my appointment was constantly being shifted around because other people needed him more at that time.

I hope you will talk to your T about this. It sounds like a really tough spot to be in - to like your T so much, but to have to put up with being rescheduled all the time.

I wonder if there is a time when she is usually in town? I know I have a friend who travels a lot, but she is almost always in town on Friday evenings. Is there a time like that in her schedule when you could have a standing appointment??

[Kiya]

Yeah - one of the most crucial things for me in therapy is consistancy (which t understands but also can't always provide). SHe tries hard to give that to me, but has told me that the pms are harder to keep stable.

(((((((((splitimage)))))))))) totally understandable!!

kiya

[sunrise]

splitimage, since your T has such a busy schedule now, I wonder if she would have greater success keeping her appointments if she didn't have you at the same time each week? Maybe just schedule your appointments 1 or 2 weeks in advance. Then both she and you would have your schedules more or less set, and she could schedule you at a time that works for both you and her that week. I know it wouldn't give the extra security that having the same time each week does, but at least it might cut down on all the last minute reschedulings.

My T and I only set appointments 1 or 2 at a time because we both have very busy schedules. There was a time he gave me a regular appointment time, but those days are over--we are both very busy and need flexibility. I'm fine with it. He can almost always offer me a time that I can attend each week. In fact, I quite like going to his office at different times of day. I don't usually go in the morning, but when I have, I found I really love the morning light in his office. Helps put my issues in a "new light" too. Really a nice change. (Also, when I go in the morning, I have noticed he is really clean shaven, so it gave me an appreciation for the daily rate at which his whiskers grow, lol.)

I hope, that at the very least, you could discuss your feelings over the reschedulings. Then hopefully the two of you could brainstorm about ways to deal with this.