[Typo]

How did all of you decide it was time to see a thearpist and how did you go about doing it?

I know I am in need of seeking out a thearpist, well scratch that I know I need to call the thearpist I found and schedule an appointment but honestly and I know this sounds ridiculious I can't bring myself to do it and I don't know how.

I'm terrified of the idea of thearpy!! I'm someone who is very closed off about certain things and I rarely discuss my emotions, it is so hard for me and I'm amazed at what I post here sometimes. My fear is so paralyizing that I can't even dial the number all the way without hanging up, or when I do call and get an answer I freak and say wrong number, or when the one time I actually had the ability to speak and left a message and then the T was nice enough to call back I never answered my phone or called her back, I listened to the voicemail she left me and started shaking and got sick to my stomache!!

How did you overcome the fear of talking to a thearpist?
Are my fears even normal??

Please help, I don't know what to do and I know that I need to call and make an appointment, I honestly just phyisically can't because of my fear.
Help please.

[(JD)]

Your fears are normal, but also unfounded.

Think of yourself with a business to run (your self) and think of the therapist as someone you hire as a consultant. Now, if you had a regular business, you would call your consultant in each week and discuss what the best course of action would be for a particular issue you saw with the business, right? That's how to think of therapy: your T is a consultant you pay to help see things you might not realize, and to offer solutions for those issues.

Make the call. You don't have to know how to do this, that one of the reasons therapists are trained, so they do know how to do this. When you make the call, and if you leave a message, say that you really want to do this but need her to call you and help you make an appointment. That gives her permission to contact you more than just a polite return of your call.

You can do this.

[skeksi]

I had similar paralysis and terror about seeking therapy. I am so glad that I found the courage to do so. Sometimes the people for whom it is the hardest, it helps the most.

Breathe through the fear. You were able to make the call once, and you can do it again. Once you get there, it may be that all you do is describe how scary it is to be there: that's okay.

(((((((((((((((((( silversparrow )))))))))))))))))

I can really relate to how you're feeling. I put off going to a therapist for YEARS for the same reasons. Finally, last August, I just felt like I was falling apart, and read a bunch of therapist profiles on the psychology today website and found someone I liked the sound of. I e-mailed him first, since that was an option on the website, and was much, much easier than calling. He sent me a really nice e-mail and asked me to call him. It took a while, but I got up the courage and finally did it a couple of weeks later, and we talked on the phone a bit. Then I chickened out again and didn't make an appointment until 3 months later in November. I talked to him on the phone then too - I was trying to decide between him and another therapist and he was so kind and helpful and spent a long time talking me through the decision on the phone. I ended up making an appointment with him.

It was REALLY SCARY to go the first time - well, the first few months, really. But I knew I had to do something different in my life. Now, 8 months in, I am so glad I finally got up the courage to take the leap and do it. I adore my T and my life is definitely better in so many important ways, and I am looking forward to seeing him for a long, long time.

Hope something there helps! Maybe you could start with an e-mail? That was much more comfortable for me.

Good luck!

[sunrise]

Silversparrow, could you ask a close friend or family member to help you make the call? Maybe they could make the call with you sitting right next to them. Or if it is always a voicemail you get, maybe your friend could leave her number to call back and then she could make the appointment for you when they returned the call. And maybe the friend could also come with you to the first appointment (not to be in session with you, but just for support to get you to the waiting room).

When you do find a T, she will help you overcome your fear of talking to her. They know how to help with that.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
How did all of you decide it was time to see a thearpist and how did you go about doing it?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I went to see a therapist when I had hit bottom, when I was so depressed, I was barely functioning, and I knew I had major issues in my life to solve beyond the depression and knew I could not do any of this without help. Those calls were very hard to make, first to my EAP to get names of therapists, and then to call them each up. I had to call 3 before I got one who would call back or who consent to see me. I didn't care who it was because I could hardly make the call much less ask discerning questions. I could barely get through the calls and when they would call back to say no they couldn't take me on, I would shake and cry silently. It was such a hard thing to do, so I know you are struggling. Thinking back to my frame of mind, it wasn't so important that the therapist be a perfect fit--it was helpful just to get started and talk to someone. It would have been impossible for me to interview a half dozen practitioners. I just needed someone, anyone. If I sought perfection when I so needed help, it would have been hard for me to start moving. After some months of seeing this T, I quit because she wasn't the answer to what I needed, but I was less depressed and stronger, and could then do better at finding the one for me. I feel very grateful to her--she played an important role.

You are wise to know you need help. Your strong desire to see a therapist shows you have a strong will to get better. I hope you can find a friend to help you with the calls. You are worth it.

[gimmeice]

((((((((((( silversparrow ))))))))))))))))))
Starting to see a therapist can be so scary, I' ve had problems with making the phone calls. Finally I just forced myself to do it, I took some very deep breaths reassuring myself that I had to do it and called. I felt so much relief after making an appointment, good luck I hope that you are able to call.

[Typo]

Thank you all,

It's definatly encourging to hear that it's normal to be scared of calling.
Tomorrow I'm going to call or I may call during my break at work tonight and leave a message. I'll let you all know if I actually get past dialing the area code, Thank you all so much.

[Doh2007]

That's good advice. Feel the fear and do it anyway. You are stronger than you think.

[chaotic13]

Very scary indeed. I vacillated for at least 6 months. I wasn't until I totally crashed that I picked up the phone. Yes as Sky_ said the fears are unfounded; but very powerful. All I can tell you is that I don't regret making that ....3 or 4 call (I also dialed and hung up several times).

[Ltr2Hermione]

Wait.. who said I'm over the fear?

When I couldn't stand another day and the sight of myself in a mirror made me ill and I would wretch at the scent of my OWN perfume... I knew I should have called years ago.

I see my T as a "life coach". I'm surely a mess, and with him I can put everything out on the table.. piece by piece.. and he helps me pick and choose what I wish to put back in. I put NOTHING out there that I don't want him to see or I don't want to discuss. As time goes on it will all be said...

Let me ask.... if you had a gaping wound on your rear end, wouldn't you go to the hospital, bare all and say "FIX IT"? With a therapist, you needn't even go so far as to "expose" yourself. You're not naked! You're completely in control and what gets discussed is really all up to you. I don't know about other T's, but with mine it's just like having a conversation and there are times I'll spend the first 15 minutes discussing the weather...

Make the call. Just because you can't see this particular wound doesn't mean it doesn't need attention.

L

[Wishmouse]

Make the call... schedule the appointment, you can always cancel closer to the time.... infact you can sit in the carpark and not bother going in... just go through the motions and see how far you can get. You might surprise youself as to how far you are able to go.