[coconut64]

Because my T follows a psychoanalytic orientation when we start the sessions he will sit there in silence until I say something. The pressure of always having something to say to him is enormous! Instead of going right into the conversation, I like to greet him first with a simple hello or how are you. It serves two purposes, it takes a little of the pressure off of thinking of something to say right away, and most importantly, it helps me reconnect with him after a few days have passed since our last session. Soooooooooo, I wonder how other people handle this.

Who speaks first, you or your T?

Do you have an opening phrase that you use repeatedly?

Do you feel the need to reconnect with your T at the beginning of each session?

Do you greet your T or go straight into talking?

T usually asks "how are you" and I'll say however I am. I've learned to be careful with that though - because if I say "okay", he'll say "what makes it okay?" (or good, or bad). So unless I really feel a certain way, I just say "I don't know" now.

Today, I beat him to it. Just sat down and said "I don't know how I feel". He took it from there, thankfully!

It seems that in the past T would just sit and wait for me to start. I didn't like that as much as the newer "how are you".

I used to have a really hard time reconnecting at the beginning of the session, but right now, it's much easier. I think we have a lot of contact between sessions, so that helps.

T usually says, "So... what's going on?"

I told him that he needs to change it up, that I cannot deal with hearing him say that for three years now.

So one time I walked into session and there was a sign on my chair that he made. It said, "So... what's going on?"

As far as reconnecting-- that usually depends on what has been going on within our relationship. Sometimes the connection can be maintained for weeks. Other times (like right now) I feel disconnected and although I *know* that a connection does exist, I do feel the need to build up, or reconnect.

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Who speaks first, you or your T?

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My T usually speaks first (thank goodness). She knows I don't like the silence so she'll usually try to ask something about my week to start us off.

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Do you have an opening phrase that you use repeatedly?

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If she does ask how I'm doing, I always just say "fine." I think that's why she's moved on to more detailed questions

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Do you feel the need to reconnect with your T at the beginning of each session?

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I rarely feel connected with my T at the beginning of the session, but often do by the end. It's something I work on. I would love to walk in and feel immediately connected, but it just doesn't happen that way for me. So yes, I guess I feel the need to reconnect at the beginning, even if I don't always know it at the time.

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Do you greet your T or go straight into talking?

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I always say "Hi" as I'm walking in, and then sit down, and then she starts talking.

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Who speaks first, you or your T?

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Depends! If she sees me coming in she says "Hello!", but where she's sitting I see her first usually and say "Hey".

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Do you have an opening phrase that you use repeatedly?

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"So what's going on?"

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Do you feel the need to reconnect with your T at the beginning of each session?

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Depends.

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Do you greet your T or go straight into talking?

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Greetings first!

[sunrise]

He always opens the door from the waiting room to his office and says "c'mon in." So I come in and sit down. Sometimes he stays over at his desk and finishes an email or something on his computer. He will sometimes say "talk to me" from this vantage point, and I will say some superficial stuff, greeting stuff, etc., but I don't like to delve into real stuff until he is sitting with me. When he comes to sit with me, he will usually just sit there and wait for me to start. He looks at me expectantly. If I don't say anything, he will sometimes say "therapist at your service." Or sometimes he says, "whatcha thinking?" Lately I haven't really wanted to start--I've wanted to take a little break and have less responsibility--so he's stepped into the void and done more of the "starting out" stuff.

There's always a little moment of tension when I take the plunge into what I want to talk about first. It's a little like that first dip of the roller coaster as it comes out of the gate. The tension is uncomfortable but also a bit pleasurable--the anticipation, etc.

I often feel shy at first so I will help us reconnect by using a starter topic that isn't as hard to get into as what I really want to talk about that session. The shyness is especially hard the longer we have been apart.

[Kiya]

Often T says "So - sounds like you've had a rough week."

We have such a long walk from lobby to her office at the back of the bldg that hello's are done at the lobby door. Then the trek.... usually she says "be right there" which is good so i don't have to feel watched all the way down the hall, or we don't have to have that awkard silence walking together.

Lately, T has just delved into the all important thing that is the issue so (i am guessing) time is wasted with nicities. I don't just start in - if left to my own devices I go through the how are you?s and t doesn't like to be asked how she is. The first meeting, i recall, she laughed out loud when i asked her.

[sunrise]

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Kiya said:
t doesn't like to be asked how she is. The first meeting, i recall, she laughed out loud when i asked her.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Wow, I would really be put off by being laughed at! Brave Kiya.

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sunrise said:
"therapist at your service."


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LOLOL - I love this

[Rapunzel]

Getting started is hard. Sometimes my T stares at me until I start talking. If she does ask "how are you" my reply is "I hate that question." Or sometimes I say "fine" and she says "no you're not."

Lately I've been starting with something just conversational, but not necessarily therapy stuff, like talking about the cats or something. And in a few minutes she will try to turn the topic around to deeper stuff or ask what I want to talk about this time and then we start all of the above, but it's not as awkward after at least starting with a conversation about something.

[Angel_of_the_Past]

Who speaks first, you or your T?

T always greets me and asks how I'm doing.

Do you have an opening phrase that you use repeatedly?

No, not really. What ever sparks the mood.

Do you feel the need to reconnect with your T at the beginning of each session?

No, but by the end we've reconnected.

Do you greet your T or go straight into talking?

T always geets me with a smile-like she's glad I came.

[SpottedOwl]

Who speaks first, you or your T?

My T always waits for me to talk. If I say 'hello' first, he'll respond. If not, he'll sit in silence until I give in and say something. This was maddening at first, but now I rather appreciate being the one in charge.

Do you have an opening phrase that you use repeatedly?

I generally talk about how I'm feeling, or I start off with an assessment of the week. I try not to spend too much time recounting events, because that 50 minutes goes by fast.

Do you feel the need to reconnect with your T at the beginning of each session?

For at least the first year, but I've noticed a shift lately where I can just dive in without feeling the need to reconnect first.

Do you greet your T or go straight into talking?

I always have to say 'hi' now. But when I first started, I just sat down and started talking.

Boy..just typing this up I'm realizing how much my relationship with T has evolved. Definitely some great things to think about, and discuss at my next session.

Great idea for a post coconut64 :-) Thanks!

[chaotic13]

My T usually greets me.

We usually start with her saying "What's on your mind today?" or "What's going on?" or "How are things?"

She has a daughter in college so sometimes, starts with a quick question for me related to college. I like type of start the best because then the interaction doesn't feel so one way.

[Kiya]

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sunrise said:
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Kiya said:
t doesn't like to be asked how she is. The first meeting, i recall, she laughed out loud when i asked her.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Wow, I would really be put off by being laughed at! Brave Kiya.

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Heh - well it was one of those "taken by surprise" laughs. I guess no one ever asks her that. Because it was like "So, how are you?" all serious. and of course i shrugged, said "Good, how are you?" lol lol

[Mouse_]

I have to talk first, and I feel so self consious and I have this habit of sort hitting my face with my hand first :-( ... I have noticed though, that on days when It is extremely hard to talk first, T seems to know when that is and she will say something.