So my T is on vacation for just 2 business days...i called her 4 times the day she left and left messages telling her to be safe...then got scared she was mad so i called back later in the evening got a hold of her and she said i'm with someone can i call you back....stupid me said "can i tell you something?" she said sure...i said im worried that your mad i called you today answer: no...."are you going to be ok on your trip" answer"yes"....ok thanks talk soon bye...........then it dawned on me...."what if she is mad that i bothered her in session?" now im so freaked out that im going to loose her over my "need" for her i constantly call her even on weekends bah plz god dont take her away from me..................

hugs plz
dustin

[Christina86]

(((((((((((((((Dustin)))))))))))))))))

Breathe! T being away is never fun. She's not going to be mad you bothered in session. She's responsible for making sure she's not interrupted in session, not you.

Maybe next session you can talk about ways to keep her "there" with you even outside of session so you don't have to call her so much (if you don't want to)? I'm sure she's probably got ideas.

[imapatient]

She answered the phone. If she doesn't want calls when she's in session, she shouldn't answer the pjhone.

I assume you two talk about you feeling the need to call her frequently, so it's not like it's a new subject, right?

(((((((((((((((((( Dustin )))))))))))))))))))

Well, since T said she's not mad, can you take that a face value and assume she's not? I have to admit when I ask T if he's mad and he says "no", it's often followed by "really?" and "promise?" by me, so I get how you are feeling

If you want to call less - is there something else you can do at that moment you have the impulse to call? Sometimes when I want to call my T, I'll deliberately find something else to do - a job in the house, a game with my kids, running an errand, calling a friend, taking a bath, reading a book - and then later, if I still feel like I need to call, I'll call. But sometimes the urge goes away when I can just put it off for a whlie.

You can always come post on PC when you feel like you need to talk to her! We're not her, but we can listen and give

[Slippers]

If she is "with someone" that might mean she is with her dog groomer, or her dry cleaner. Don't worry. If she didn't want to talk to you, she would not have answered the phone. We all screen are calls these days.

Slippers

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Dustin)))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sure if your t said she is not upset with you then she is not. I know how hard it can be when t is not available. Maybe you can keep working on this in your sessions and you will not feel so upset when you call.

BB

[ECHOES]

Your fear that she is mad is your fear and your thought only.
She has her very own thoughts.
She has the capability, the ability, and the responsibility for her end of the therapeutic relationship and she could have said no to your asking if you could say something, but she didn't because she choose to, decided on her own, to listen to what you had to say right then.

She is aware of your intense feelings about her being gone. Being away from T is hard enough and the longer it is the harder it is. I told T once that time=distance when I am away from her, and it intensifies the anxious feelings. (She agreed). So, when time AND distance are involved, it is very hard, very intense in our minds.

I think her saying yes to your request to say something was a way of offering you a bit of reassurance. Can you think of that as her being kind and reassuring because she understands how you feel about her being away?

It is hard.

[okiedokie]

Love,
Okie

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( Dustin ))))))))))))))