[Kiya]

I got a hug today!!! My apnt isn't until 7pm but I was talking with the housing advocate in the lobby and t walked just behind the barely-opened door. We both did a double take at each other, moving our necks to see each other like a couple of birds (lol) and she smiled, put something down, then came out saying "Hey!! It's great to see you!!!" I did likewise and she gave me a big hug and held me for a long minute. I tell you i nearly cried. Had she held me any longer I would have (as I have already cried in yoga both today and Monday). It was super nice because there are no worries - the connection is already there and I don't have to re-establish it tonight.

Course, then there was that akward moment of standing there with T and the housing advocate and t cottoning on that we're planning about housing lol (in the lobby of all places - which happens with ppl pretty often) and so t goes "Ah - you're having a chat!" haha. The H A said "we're scheaming!" I didn't know "who to be" in that moment, but fortunately T left us to it.

But I have carried that with me all the rest of the day =) such a good moment. And - lol - i notice later that I hugged her like a lil kid who hasn't seen mom in a week from camp - head turned and place on her shoulder. Grin. I seemed really short today -some how t was taller than me. Anyway....

I did well and have things alligned so that the next weeks T is gone I have appointments to cover it. Next week I am meeting with the T from the depression yoga class (we had the last one today), and then in 2 weeks i have my MD appnt. all on wednesdays so that I have some continuity.
Gold star!!!

[Pseudonym]

That's WONDERFUL, dear!! =D

Allow me to add my own virtual one:

I know what you mean about seeming short, too. That happens to me even though I'm 6'. :P

[Kiya]

You're 6'?!?! I so didn't picture that. LOL. huh. we'll i'm 5'4. but i wear platform shoes a lot tho today i was wearing these lil slipper things.... so i was proly 5'3.5
thanks, and ****************HUGS******************* back!!!

[MissCharlotte]

Awwwesome!!!!!

[Pseudonym]

Your slippers are so bad for your posture, that you actually SHRUNK!

*Tall Hug*

[Kiya]

It's true! My MD would have my head if she saw me wearing those. They do actually manage to position my heels *lower* than my toes... dunno how.
So literally, I couldn't reach t's shoulder! I guess that is partly why I turned my head in... but part in comfort and relief too. I missed her so much. I guess we are fully bonded now. It's only been 10 months. I missed a couple of months in there, but Oct to August is 10.

((((((Pseudo, Miss)))))))))

[emilyjeanne]

I can relate to wondering when the "bond" would happen with a new T. I'm happy that you are fully bonded. Now the real work begins.

(((((Kiya)))))))),
I'm so happy for you! It sounds like things are coming together for you! See you soon

[Angel_of_the_Past]

I'm jealous!

[Pseudonym]

Just a tip: Always make sure your plumbers and drywallers are fully bonded.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((( kiya )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

That is just awesome! You have such a special relationship with your T. So cool

[Kiya]

(((((((((Emilyjeanne))))))))))) yes, that frightens me some!!!
(((((((((Soliaree))))))))))) me too - talk to you soon.
(((((((((Angel))))))))))) I'll share!
(((((((((Pseudo))))))))))) very funny - bonded... indeed.
(((((((((Earthmama))))))))))) yeah =)

more: I was too exhausted to post last night....
T was so intent on discussing my feelings of overwhelm over the 2 weeks she was gone. No matter how I tried to side track her (ask her about her trip, talk about Benedict…) she made sure to cover the emotions and to assure me that it is important to have needs – and have them met. She was even not ok with MD not calling me back when I clearly needed to be called back (that’s a first!!!) since I hadn’t received a call from april till like 2 weeks ago. I wonder if t got after her @_@! T also made sure that I knew we were connected and that she’d be in Montana and I can call as often as I need or not, and I can email ( I have to admit I felt really silly – but the internals are relieved). And that T says she will call mid week…. Tho she said that once before and didn’t so …… I will do myself a favor and not expect it. That way, if she does, awesome – if not, I won’t be bummed. Once that was all covered we processed a big collage poster I made about processing her absence. She loved it and the info it provided. Then we talked about how Benedict was helpful – AND heh… she pulled out an Animal Medicine book, looked up armadillos and *read * me the whole write up which was all about good boundaries and needs!!! So now I have homework from that – it talked about creating a shield with the things I want and need inside, and the things I am willing to experience to grow on the outside, like “criticism”. And she kept me 10 minutes longer to do that.

[Pseudonym]

Wowzers, Kiya! I need to find a T like yours. Homework =)

Talk to you later.

[Kiya]

Ooooooh yeah - thanks for the reminder. I already forgot. Heh. Now i have a bazillion pages of Spanish to complete before Sat, a bazillion pages of SSI app to complete, and homework for t. At least i have 2 weeks on that last one!

lol... your description of your T being determined for you to process her absence even though you tried to sidetrack her reminds me a lot of my own sessions... a lot of times T will have an "agenda" and I will literally ask questions like, "So.. how is your dog?"

Your T is awesome! I really hope you can keep the feeling of the hug "with you." It will help you to stay connected.

[Kiya]

lol that made me laugh.
You know, i have stayed connected longer this time already. I'm ususally a wreck by Friday.
Today i'm not sure if i should be indignant with her or amused. I've been having some severe medical stuff and called her about it (rather than MD) and T told my md's assistant! So the assistant called me!! I'm like Hi! Didn't know you knew about this! lol
I do at least know T cares a lot.

[jacq10]

I just love this story.

My old T once gave me a similar type of hug, and told me to "hold on to it for the week"... thank you for reminding me of that gentle moment .

[sunrise]

Hugs are so powerful. Hold on to them. Sometimes I think of these "gifts" from T as talismans of a sort. I can whip them (their memory) out of my back pocket in times of need.

[Kiya]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
jacq10 said:
I just love this story.

My old T once gave me a similar type of hug, and told me to "hold on to it for the week"... thank you for reminding me of that gentle moment .

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

awwwwww i'm glad. I'm also glad to "see" you - haven't in ages and ages. Are you ok out there?
kiya

[Kiya]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
sunrise said:
Hugs are so powerful. Hold on to them. Sometimes I think of these "gifts" from T as talismans of a sort. I can whip them (their memory) out of my back pocket in times of need.



</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

That makes a lot of sense. SHe's hugged me on several occasions, but they always fetl akward... and I had a lot of judgement around my self - was I even "doing" it right? I'm not a real huggy person.

But this time, I had missed this person (hey look! T became a person!) so much and had attached in a really different way - like someone i know and trust vs. some one who will adopt me- and seeing her SO happy to see me! I mean..me! I dunno... it was... really different. I felt really loved - as me - not as someone who *has* to be "cared for". That moment is a keeper.

[sunrise]

Kiya, I can see how being outside of the office environment ("T's job") but yet still having her care for you would send a powerful message and be very convincing of her caring intentions. I have heard that some T's will not acknowledge a client outside of the office, but your experience is so positive, it makes me wonder why some T's would miss this opportunity.

[Kiya]

Oh - we were at the clinic - just in the lobby. She had just returned from vacation and one of my alters had nearly cancelled the session (which she knew about).
I was talking with another advocate at the time, so there was a lil momentary awkward ness... but not bad.
=)

[jacq10]

(((Kiya)))

Thank you for thinking of me. I'm doing just fine out here... I'm really working on healing myself, and the reason i haven't been around much is because more often then not, i find reading the boards triggers my old feelings. I'm sorry if that seems selfish, but its what i need to do right now, and though i'm not posting much, I'm still here!

Anyhow, not trying to hijack your thread!

[Kiya]

Jacq, I think it is great that you know what to do to heal yourself and are doing it! That is not selfish at all.
Good to know you are well!
Kiya

[Pseudonym]

I feel... flustered. I'm in the presence of a newly-minted GRAND MAGNATE! I hope I remain worthy to join in your healing and friendship.