[Kiya]

It went alright. A good stand in for real t. but she looked over my file and even though she said we'd talk about the "subject of my choosing" she kept bringing back the conversation to the housing thing. Each time i switched subejcts, she'd let me finish it, then go back to housing housing housing.... Somtimes a subject can be run into the ground me thinks. Ah well. at least i can tell T that we definately covered it!
Meanwhile i work on the armadillo boundary project =) a nice thing to keep me occupied.
Tomorrow is the anniversary of my friend's death, so i may visit his grave before going to yoga - and then probably cry all through it again. Ah well. I guess i am at the "release" stage of my life. Bout time i suppose.
I think i am starting to ramble.... t... i miss t. she didn't call today. glad i wasn't counting on it and am still remembering the hug and her comment "It's so good to see you!"

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( kiya )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm glad your session with "sub T" went well....but I am MORE glad that you are still able to hang on to your T's hug and loving words.

Sounds like you might be in for a rough day tomorrow....be gentle with yourself.

[Kiya]

thanks earthmama. today was a pretty rough day as well, things going down hill after Sub T. I am feeling really "done" with events as they have been today. i want things to go better. i did write t an email tonight, detailing some of it. life seems to be smoother when t is around.

[chaotic13]

Hang in there K... Maybe while working with this sub t you can practice work on something totally different than you do with your real T. Maybe you could practice different ways of telling someone you really don't want to talk about what they want to talk about. LOL For example... just changing the subject didn't work last session. Maybe if you see her again you could test out a more direct approach. Like,.. "hey you said we could talk about stuff I wanted to talk about, but you keep going back to the housing thing..I don't really want to discuss THAT!" The cool thing here is she is just a sub t, if you %#@&#! her off... who cares. MAYBE you could work on testing different ways to tell someone politely to F' off. Just kidding. I'm just thinking that maybe you can explore something new with this sub t without risking a major rupture.

((((Kiya))))),
I thought you were supposed to give the substitute a hard time, like our kids. Why didn't you spit a spit ball at her each time she brought up housing, lol! That would have modified her behavior

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Tomorrow is the anniversary of my friend's death, so i may visit his grave before going to yoga

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I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's death, Kiya. It must be so difficult to deal with those emotions. You are such a strong person! ((((kiya))))

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am still remembering the hug and her comment "It's so good to see you!"

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That's a good thing You can remember something positive she said even though you may feel somewhat "abandoned".

Let's see, counting today I have 6 more days until my session with T. I wonder what emotion is going to be there when I go to session. Will it be the thank God you're back emotion or the to hell with you for leaving emotion? Only time will tell . . .

[Kiya]

lol... my emotion will be YAY it's you - STOP abandoning me!!!! because then she's gone AGAIN!!! An the Sub T will be the same place T will be. =( =( I wonder if i can pack myself in her bag?? Think she'd notice? Maybe if i lay off the chocolate for a week....

[Kiya]

I'm hanging..... i like that idea tho, of testing out things.... too bad i won't have the op again. next time t's gone, sub t will be gone also. wish i had thought of that before.

[MissCharlotte]

((Kiya))

Hey, you know there was a time when I thought that a sub-T was out of the question. Now, it feels kind of like triage. At least SOMEONE is there to talk to and sort of look after you a bit while T is gone. Maybe she's like a babysitter. Yeah, Soli is right, you need to give her a hard time.....maybe tell her that you are ALWAYS allowed to stay up late, eat ice cream and pizza and watch TV till the wee hours of the morning.

LOL

[chaotic13]

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too bad i won't have the op again. next time t's gone, sub t will be gone also.

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WTH,,, how can the both be gone at the same time! I would be like ...%#@&#! NOW ONE OF YOU HAS GOT TO STICK AROUND AND TALK TO ME.

Hey remember that animated bear... Teddy Ruxpin... Do they still make them? We should work on marketing a T version for when Ts are on vacation. His mouth and eyebrows could move while a tape of your T played.

My kids thought he was cool. Of course they didn't get the point of the toy... 'cause they made me sit on the floor and listen to thing read the stories a billion times too. BTW Teddy really rocked one night we put an old Van Halen cassette in him.

[Kiya]

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MissCharlotte said:
((Kiya))

Hey, you know there was a time when I thought that a sub-T was out of the question. Now, it feels kind of like triage. At least SOMEONE is there to talk to and sort of look after you a bit while T is gone. Maybe she's like a babysitter. Yeah, Soli is right, you need to give her a hard time.....maybe tell her that you are ALWAYS allowed to stay up late, eat ice cream and pizza and watch TV till the wee hours of the morning.

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Hahah... yeah tho - it really did feel like triage. she even said ..."so i'm [t's] sub...." like it made her feel strange to be sub. lol.

[Kiya]

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chaotic13 said:
WTH,,, how can the both be gone at the same time! I would be like ...%#@&#! NOW ONE OF YOU HAS GOT TO STICK AROUND AND TALK TO ME.

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YEAH!! They're all going on a retreat.... ppl had to pay BIG money to go. I think they should take me since they're all leaving....

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Hey remember that animated bear... Teddy Ruxpin...
BTW Teddy really rocked one night we put an old Van Halen cassette in him.

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Yeah... i saw those once. I had something smiliar as a kid where you press the hand and it records your voice... take it to t and record her saying "It's so good to see you!" ... or something that doesn't stick in my head so well....
ROTFL seeing in my mind Teddy sounding like Van Halen!!!