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The last few weeks of T before the break, I had been experiencing a lot of negative transferrence..I've just realised how much of it was transferrence now T isn't around, because all the feelings of T not being there for me like she use to have faded and I have that familiar T back in my thinking during the break...in a way this is really helpful because I would have bet my last dollar that my transferrence the last weeks were real and now I can see how much I was reacting to transference...its like I've woken up again and thinking to myself, wow how could I really have felt that bad? or really believed that T really had stopped caring?..