[missboots]

Have you ever rambeled the time away and when time is up you spring something on your therapist VERY IMPORTANT! Like childhood sexual abuse and now it is time to go to your next session and your scared? Like I threw out an important flash back at the last moment to tell her and not hafta talk about it because time is up.But I didn't consider that I will be back next week which is tomorow and now I am scared she will bring up this and I am not wanting to go there. Don't ask why I went there I guess I needed to but am so scared to talk about it.

[Kiya]

yep. i think we've all done that...sometimes often. kudos to you for getting it out - even at the last second. remember it is your choice - you can go there or not (the topic) tomorrow. If you can push the envelope safely, it might be time to talk about it. if not, you can say, i don't feel safe talking about this as this time, and move on to other things.
sounds simple, eh?
be good to you,
kiya

[ECHOES]

((( missboots )))
I thnk you went 'there' at the end of the session because it was a safe time to go 'there'.

Maybe you could start your session talking about saying this at the end of the session?

Yes I have done this. Last time I did it, T said gently and with a smile "I can't help but notice that you are bringing something up at the end of the session that is very important." (I kind of felt like I was 'in trouble' ) And I left on that note, so I had the week to think about why I brought it up at the last minute... when there was no time to talk more about it. Or was it that I was secretly hoping for extra time? (A kind of rescue?) Or did I just want her to 'hold' that for me for now? Or because I wanted to 'go there' but I didn't know how to do it and needed her help because my tendency is to run or hide.
There are so many reasons to explore

[little*rhino]

some of us call those "doorknob confessions." i do it all the time. It takes me a long time in session to sort of settle in and be myself, be less guarded. Sometimes it's T.. sometimes his mood or whatever sets the tone. Sometimes there isn't an explanation. It drives me crazy. To try to circumvent this issue we tried a couple of double sessions... hoping that the second hour would be 100% good stuff, having had the first hour to warm up. Nope. i ended up feeling stressed more.. like i had to do something tremendous to make it worthwhile.. and yep, the best stuff STILL came in the last 5 minutes.

echoes has a lot of valid points... the thing is just why are we doing this? i know i take a long time to come out of the candika-show that i do for everyone else.. a while to really be me with him. There are probably a lot of other reasons too.

[Christina86]

Guilty!

(((((((((((missboots)))))))))))))

Mentioning something and talking about it are two different things... sometimes it's easier to briefly mention something at the end of session, because we're not really at the point where we can actively talk about it. Maybe we do want to talk about it, and are "testing T" to see if they bring it up again at the next session without us having to do it. Makes it less awkward sometimes (at least for me).

[Kiya]

I've even done this with medical stuff - both to T and MD... call in and tell them my fears on an answering machine and then refuse to be seen for them. Knowing this, this last time T circumvented me and went and told my MD's assistant to call me! Sure shocked the socks off me!!! T didn't even call me - just told medical personnel.

[SpottedOwl]

Yep, I've done that.

I tend to think it is a normal part of facing difficult issues.
We like to test the water with a toe, instead of just diving in head first.

It is ok to be nervous, and it is ok to not talk about it again until you are ready.
If you are concerned, you can start your session with T by saying 'I know I mentioned X at the end of last session, but I am not yet ready to go there.' I'm sure T will respect your wishes.

Missboots, be kind to yourself. You took a huge risk saying anything, even at the end of the session, so be proud of yourself for taking that step.



Many and warm wishes for your meeting with T tomorrow!

[missboots]

Thanks everyone who responded. It makes sense and I feel I am not alone.

[MissCharlotte]

Oh yes! You know what though? I have found that T doesn't necessarily bring it up at the next session nor do I. It comes back up at the right time, so don't worry. The hardest part is done, I think.