I would like to.... be able to quit therapy... yet really do not know how to do this...

yes.. almost 24 years of therapy... and we can all say Yazza... is ok....

I am DID... will be DID forever....

How.. do I go about weaning away from therapy? suddenly quitting doesn't work - just like with an anti-depressant - too much of a shock...to my system.. I have tried quitting.. for a couple of months at a times.. yet end back in therapy...

So... is therapy... a "way of life" for me now.. never to be free???

After... almost 2 years in therapy with this T... I find myself.. dis-satisfied... concerned....

He.. has made a couple of suggestions... well more than a couple.. that if I had acted on them... could have gotten me.. in a great deal of "hot" water...
Because I am DID..... and... my "system"...with children alters are not ready for these experiences...

And.. I called... him on it... actually... I was so surprised.. I think I said.. what are you "insane"????? and.. that is as rude.. as I have ever gotten... but Yazza....

It has made me.. very much "doubt"... his judgement.... so it makes me very... uncomfortable to trust my different alters with him.....because.. well.. I value my life... and I do not want him.. inadvertly.. putting me in danger... a 52 year old.. would know... better than to do something that a 16 year old.. would do... and YES.. he knows.. he is talking to a 16 year old... no mistakes there....

And my DX... is not.. in doubt...

And... he is not comfortable with my "littles" - because he says he is "out of practice" with children.... he doesn't have grandchildren.. and his children.. are in the 20 something range....said e would work on it... but.. haven't seen much of a change....

So... given all this.... have you ever weaned from therapy... and stayed out of therapy.....

I think... I would like to quit... and not find another therapist....

(((((((((((((((( Freewill )))))))))))))))

It seems that when I read of people weaning from therapy (I haven't done it myself!), they do it by spacing out their appointments. So, if you go once a week now, go once every two weeks for a while, and then maybe once every three weeks, once a month, etc.

BUT, if your alters don't feel safe with this T, I'm wondering if maybe it would be better to switch to a different T, and THEN do the weaning?

I want you to be safe!

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by freewill

I would like to.... be able to quit therapy... yet really do not know how to do this...

yes.. almost 24 years of therapy... and we can all say Yazza... is ok....

I am DID... will be DID forever....

How.. do I go about weaning away from therapy? suddenly quitting doesn't work - just like with an anti-depressant - too much of a shock...to my system.. I have tried quitting.. for a couple of months at a times.. yet end back in therapy...

So... is therapy... a "way of life" for me now.. never to be free???

After... almost 2 years in therapy with this T... I find myself.. dis-satisfied... concerned....

He.. has made a couple of suggestions... well more than a couple.. that if I had acted on them... could have gotten me.. in a great deal of "hot" water...
Because I am DID..... and... my "system"...with children alters are not ready for these experiences...

And.. I called... him on it... actually... I was so surprised.. I think I said.. what are you "insane"????? and.. that is as rude.. as I have ever gotten... but Yazza....

It has made me.. very much "doubt"... his judgement.... so it makes me very... uncomfortable to trust my different alters with him.....because.. well.. I value my life... and I do not want him.. inadvertly.. putting me in danger... a 52 year old.. would know... better than to do something that a 16 year old.. would do... and YES.. he knows.. he is talking to a 16 year old... no mistakes there....

And my DX... is not.. in doubt...

And... he is not comfortable with my "littles" - because he says he is "out of practice" with children.... he doesn't have grandchildren.. and his children.. are in the 20 something range....said e would work on it... but.. haven't seen much of a change....

So... given all this.... have you ever weaned from therapy... and stayed out of therapy.....

I think... I would like to quit... and not find another therapist....

Perhaps it is merely an issue with this current T, and not anything you might be able to do about it to make it work. As in... the therapists problem, not your problem or your fault. It really sounds like you have given this relationship with the T a lot of heroic effort over the two year period of time, and yet your T isn't helping you. Before I had my current T, I stayed longer than I should have with the previous T (few years ago, first real try with a T), but I didn't know half of what I know know about therapy/psychology, and more importantly--life in general. I gave one hell of a shot, and what I know now is that that particular T wasn't a good therapist (actually, I knew it then too). Maybe she is a better T now (hard to imagine, but anything possible), as she was a new graduate when I saw her. It was a complete waste of time, and actually slightly harmful as I became very wary, majorly depressed (as I felt hopeless that therapy wasn't working), and that I could not be helped because I erroneously believed that I was a problematic, doomed to be in emotional turmoil the rest of my natural born life. I was wrong---and quite frankly, some therapists should never BE therapists.

I didn't have any answers, and none of the people around me had any answers either. I was futilly looking for answers to my problems that I did not have enough insight into myself to even be able to see at the time--running in circles. I was angry at the world, hated life, hated everyone else, and was headed for doom. After some introspection and internal debate, I decided to give therapy another go and took a chance at a therapist that my friend had referred me to (his therapist). I've been with my current therapist for two years and I am REALLY glad that I took a chance and refused to quit finding a professional who COULD help me. I see him today in fact. DID isn't like treating MDD or GAD---it's etiology is a bit more complicated and far less studied and understood than the more common disorders. He probably doesn't have much experience with complicated matters, and I truly dislike the fact that he stated himself that he isn't "good with children", as that is completely irrelevant to treating YOU as a person and treating your disorder. The DID alters that manifest themselves as "littles" doesn't necessarily mean that the treatment modality of choice is for the therapist to interact with your "little" alters as children.

To be honest, I don't really think quitting therapy altogether is a good idea for you at this point in time. Have you tried to be perfectly blunt to this current therapist as you have been here with us? I would try that step first, as he needs to know how you feel about it and it might even help him do his job better. As to the first therapist I saw---one day I just didn't show up for my appointment and said "#%^& the world" and left a violent, angry, and looking back now (I had no insight in those days), a probably suicidal young person. Things could have gone VERY badly for me if not for my friend that intervened and told me to see his therapist. I took a chance, and I'm glad I did. I think you should talk to your therapist and be as direct/blunt/open as you were with us here today--as the first step. What you do next should be based on how your T responds to your disclosure to him.\Remember, just because you have a "mental disorder" does not mean you are lacking in logical reasoning, and as such, your "gut instinct" to not follow his treatment suggestions due to the fact that you thought they might be quite harmful, is very valid. You should be able to tell him that and he should be able to explain to you why he thinks his suggestions would be therapeutic and how they are not harmful. I really wish you the best of luck-- I feel like I gave a long answer but I hope it was slightly helpful at least. What are your thoughts on what you will do next?
Best!!!

[ECHOES]

Your post implies dissatisfaction with your T and what he can offer you. Maybe a change, a new T might feel better? I sense you aren't sure about quitting but you are sure about your dissatisfaction.

[Behindthecouch]

Hi,

If you really feel you want to quit - therapy or just this therapist then you should do so. I agree that its a good idea to space out apopintments like daily, down to weekly, down to two-weekly, down to monthly etc. If your therapist doesnt agree to this then it says more about their issues than yours! Once you're away from this T - and it does sound like maybe you think they're not right for you - you can get a clear head on what you need from any T and maybe look for someone else..?

Best of luck. I'm rooting for you!

BTC