I HATE it when I think of something T said later and then wonder what he meant.

He said, "I work with some kids who have various minor anxiety symptoms and I most of the time can determine their trajection (in other words how long it will take them to get better). With you, I cannot." LOL and Ouch

How can he not know my trajectories after three years? How can he not know that it's this:





I'm all over the place, man. Where I'll end, nobody knows. . .

[psm1776]

Why torture yourself over interpreting and re-interpreting his words?

What he said, could have meant any number of things. I guess, what end or purpose could there be in rumintaing about this?

Maybe it's a way to hold him in your mind (just musing). He's still there - just try to relax and let it go.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((( Soliaree ))))))))))))))))))

Originally Posted by psm1776

Why torture yourself over interpreting and re-interpreting his words?

What he said, could have meant any number of things. I guess, what end or purpose could there be in rumintaing about this?

Maybe it's a way to hold him in your mind (just musing). He's still there - just try to relax and let it go.

Good Question PSM. I get obsessive over this and I have to try to find an outlet for it. So, a lot of times I will post inane things like this on here just to get it out of my head.

Plus, I had fun finding MY PERSONAL TRAJECTORY! It represents all of the fragments that traject in different directions = CHAOS.

It actually helps. I get it out of my head and throw a little creavity to it, and Voila! Dinner is served

If it's a way to hold him in my mind, there are a lot of other people in there too, lol. I will try to relax and let it go as you say, though. Thanks for caring.

Thanks Fuzzy.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by Soliaree

He said, "I work with some kids who have various minor anxiety symptoms and I most of the time can determine their trajection (in other words how long it will take them to get better). With you, I cannot." LOL and Ouch

Maybe it's just his way of saying you're special and unique. You know--take it as a complement!

LOLOL - I really like your trajectory! You should bring it to him as a visual aid

The consultant was wonderful. She asked good questions and made some great observations. So, now I go back to my T and we see what's the best thing to do. Another T is a possibility - not a definite.

I asked the consultant if she was going to be my T if my other T and I decided it wasn't going to work. She said, "no." I honestly thought that that was how it was going to go. My T had earlier said that he wanted to see me to the end of treatment if it was with him, with the consultant, or with whomever. So, for some reason I assumed it would be her. I asked, "why not?" She said, "Because I think it would be better for you to have another venue (because there would be reminders of T)" I asked if I could see him like once every six months while seeing another therapist and she said, "no." T told me that anyone who has gone to therapy is welcome to come back and that one guy, a judge, came to see him twice a year after completing therapy.

Now, she specifically told me that she liked working with people like me and that she was not rejecting me. She was very careful to remind me to think positively, not negatively. I really liked and respect her. So, it isn't her or him.

It's so maddening to have a disease that makes you torture others while you watch but feel unable to change. How horrible must my attachees feel? There's probably so many of them now that they could form a support group. I know I should be positive, but I feel like I hate myself right now. I really do.

Hmm, I would find all that uncertainty unsettling too.

I know my T told me that there was a type of therapy where you can multiple Ts (like a treatment team or something), so it's odd that she pretty much vetoed that. I could see it being helpful to keep seeing your T (maybe less frequently) plus seeing someone else to help you process that. But maybe that's not a conventional arrangement, I don't know. At the very least, maybe you could see both during a transition period until you get used to a new one?

Anyway, I'm glad that the meeting today wasn't too awful, even though you are still left sort of up in the air about your future therapy path. Since you liked her approach so much, maybe if you do wind up having to work with someone new in some capacity, she would be able to recommend someone with a similar style?

I hope you and your T find a solution that feels safe and helpful to you.