chair work

Ya'll ever do this?
Did it help?
How did you react to doing this?
Were you scared of this?

thanks
chalmette

Hmm.... never heard of "chair work"? What does that entail?

It's gestalt therapy I believe. You talk to an "empty chair" as if a significant person were in it, then you switch and say what their reaction would be. It helps you work through your assumptions of what they would say and how they perceive you or how you perceive they would perceive you etc. T often suggested this and I kept refusing until she pushed and I said if you make me then I'll have to quit. Yes, I was terrified of doing it. But then, I was hiding a lot of stuff about "significant person" that came up later in session.

I could probably have done it if it hadnt been so linked to traumatic experience.

It depends who you'd have to imagine and how much you can cope with. Don't let any T make you do it if you're not ready but on the other hand, if it's not likely to re-traumatise, it might be worth a shot.

You can always stop half way thru and just say "I can't do this".

best of luck.

BTC

T asked me twice and I've refused both times. He wont' make me. I'm too afraid to do it.

I tried that once, it involved two chairs and what we were trying to do was get my feelings and my rational mind to interact. I personally felt very silly so I told t that I didn't want to do it anymore. T said that some people find that kind of work very helpful, that just wasn't my experience although I am sure that it is different for every person.

Thank ya'll so much for answering. Hearing about it scares me. I'd feel so silly doing that. And then i think if i would try and do it, the anger i have in me, i'd destroy the poor chair. Then i would feel like an idiot.

But i saw my counsler today and asked her what it was all about. She called it something else, not chair work. She told me we've got other things to get through before that would even come into the picture. And she said if i wouldnt be comfortable with it, we'd do something else. She said not to stress myself out about it. Just let it go for now.

So, believe me, i'm letting it go for now. Don't need no more worry and paranoia in this head.

thank ya'll
chalmette

LOL chalmette, I think I'd destroy the chair too! My T knows me far too well, which is why this was probably never a treatment option!

I actually think that just talking about my problems with an empathetic T who is really knowledgeable and professional does it for me. Plus, my T is frikkin hilarious, and I find that always helps.

Your T sounds like she's pretty decent. I like how she alleviated your stress and didn't push you too far.

I've done chair work... but talking to two parts of me, one side that *wants* to change, and the other that doesn't. It got a little bit emotionally unnerving at times... but I found it useful.

I know it as "The Empty Chair" and it can be quite powerful. For example, you can imagine someone important in your life who has died and you now get a chance to tell them what you wish you had been able to when they were still alive. It can be healing. You can also feel a bit silly doing it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it's hard to get over the "hump" of talking to a chair.

I did that during the outpatient program at the hospital. I've been very in touch with my anger at my mom, but had not even really acknowledged my anger at my father. I put him in the chair, and let me tell you; the anger was definitely there

Thank ya'll for telling me your experiences with 'the chair'. I'm getting a much better understanding of it.

My counsler said it would be like the chair was my grandparents and i could just let my emotions go. And other things too.

I still dont know that this would be the way for me to go. I guess when it gets to that part of thearpy it'll be my decision.

I'm glad to hear it worked for ya'll. And yeah, sunrise, that 'hump'.

hugs
chalmette

that was offered to me also, and i also turned it down. i just can't do "silly" and that totally fit the bill. But that was several years ago. I might be more open to it now... not that I want to really... but never know. I liked reading this thread to understand the WHY of it. I have to know what the purpose is before I do things.
kiya