[Mouse_]

So much anxiety, so much anger, irritablity, so much time spent alone in my head. Moments of normality, but to short lived...Its like living in the battlefields...then today a man knocked at the door from the local authority, wanting to know about the house next door, the house next door has had all sorts of people staying then going, none of them the real tenants, so this man knocked enquiring, I said, with a smile, that I'd rather not talk about the house next door..the man got the message and smiled back and said, oh ok thank you...I shut the door and realised somethign was missing, something I am so use too, fear, fear that perhaps I'd become involved in something irregualar and now I will live in mortal danger, but it all seemed to real and natural, my reactions to it normal..it was then I realised that the constant feeling of being in a battlefield is my mind telling me things, that the real world situations happen slower and less frequent, not all rolled into one and happening quick, fast 24/7...for a moment the bubble of delusion burst...but not to last, the feeling of world war are back, but for that moment, when the curtain of reality opened, I saw that perhaps this is what is meant by facing your fears? what therapy is for? addressing the delusional fears in my head so the real world won't take me out...I hate living like this, taking living minute by minute, hour by hour...I just want a rest from the terror in my head....I feel like I'm stuck in a salvador dali painting...

[pachyderm]

The one with the melting clock?

[pegasus]

(((((( Mouse ))))))

It does get better. At least you had the strength to say that you didn't want to be involved to the chap who knocked on your door.