[oneinleftfield]

I already put part of this in a post but do you dissociate in therapy? Do you mean to? My therapist practically yells at me if I start drifting off . I really don't want to miss out on the session but she must think I force myself to go away. It scares me when she's angry like this. I start emotionally closing up. I have caught myself before I totally left and did stuff to stay put. Like rub my feet on the floor, eat sour candy, use cuticle cream during the session, etc. But do I leave on purpose? How can I control this?

[searchingmysoul]

Hi oneinleftfield!

Dissociation is your mind's way of protecting itself from the overwhelming stimuli in your sessions. I too have had difficulty with staying present in session. It can be frustrating and disorienting. But I know I don't do it on purpose, I do it because thats how my mind has learned to cope with overwhelming situations. And I would guess that this is the same for you. Grounding techniques are definately helpful. So is going slow and feeling safe in the therapy.

Big hug.

~Searching

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by oneinleftfield

do you dissociate in therapy? Do you mean to? My therapist practically yells at me if I start drifting off.

My T never berates me for "leaving" like that. He will gently bring me back by saying something, like, "hey, where are you?" or "where did you go just now?" Sometimes I can tell him and we can learn something from where I went, or why I went at that particular moment. I really don't think it's something a person should be yelled at for. It's not like it's a deliberate or hostile action. I would be very upset if my T got angry because of this, and I would probably close up the rest of the session too.

(((((oneinleftfield)))))

Can you tell her how her reaction to your dissociation affects you? Maybe she can tone down her reaction so she is not working at cross purposes to helping you stay present.

i frequently drift away during therapy..especially if it while we are chewing over a touchy subject...from what my therapist tells me...she usually has to call me a few times to get me back and then i usually answer her with a "what?" in a tone that she describes as sounding like i am so annoyed to be bothered..funny thing is i never remember any of it...

we work hard on me not drifting away during times when it is a difficult topic. sometimes i am able to remain in the present...sometimes not. it's not a skill i am very strong at on my own...she can tell by the look on my face (i guess) that i am slipping away and reminds me to stay around by trying to look at her.

at times she may use a stern voice but she never yells..for me...yelling would just cause me to slip further away...kind of a no win situation...i dissociate because of a terrible memory frightens me so you yell at me which frightens me which causes me to dissociate....

I dissociate in session. T is gentle about bringing me back, but sometimes I know that he uses sort of a "stern" voice...I think that is more to bring me back from a flashback into the room...I'm not sure. I never feel like he is angry at me, though.

I can sometimes "leave the room" on purpose and I do. I know I "should" stay and do the work I came there to do, but it's so exhausting sometimes. A couple of sessions ago, I told T "I need a break" and started to let myself drift and he told me "I really want you to stay here" but I really DID need a break, so he let me go and gently brought me back in a little bit (I don't know how long).

Sometimes I will tell him "I want to leave" (in my head) and he will say "I really want you to stay here with me" and I will try. Sometimes I can stay, sometimes I can't.

I think dissociating makes therapy slow and hard sometimes....but like someone said above, it is our way of protecting ourselves, and that's okay.