[Mouse_]

So I recieved my book about how to stay in the moment, and realised that I am doing everything that needs to be done, ie, therapy. Yes the book is very positive, much like any other self help book, and as I read it I realised I have a deeper understanding of whats going on for me than any book can offer...I read a fews yrs ago someone saying that they finally reached a stage in their own recovery where they let go the idea of finding the solution in books and just concentrated on their own thoughts and feelings in therapy...I put the book down and felt disappointed but on the other hand resigned to the knowledge that we will get there in time...its feels like when you feel your drowning until suddenly someone shouts out, wake up its morning...and your suddenly aware of daylight again and the memory of the dream the night before is put back in its place....yesterday I spent the whole session talking about how guilty this extra discounted session is causing me to feel, how T said, but I wouldnt offer it to you if I didnt want too, why would I ? and I replied, well why would someone adopt you then not love you? she was stumped in that moment and I realised what I was doing, pulling my experience of the past into the now and that in itself is a more powerful lesson in being in the here and now then any book could even begin to offer you, so I will put the book on the bookshelve and continue my journey in the here and now...because the crack in the door is getting bigger and the light is beginning to shine through brighter and brighter!!>

[ECHOES]

I do think that the books can complement therapy, but I also understand how we can attempt to use them to manipulate therapy, or to try to know what we don't know yet, or to try to 'figure out' the therapist and therapy. When I first began therapy I had a stack of books at hand and read them during all my free time, as if they were reference books for my life. I had to put them away because they were serving as a defence against thinking about myself and my own therapy that is real and in the moment. I have a terrible habit of wanting to know what is down the road before I get there, instead of enjoying the journey to 'there'.

But I also think books can complement therapy because I notice now that I am a year and a half into my therapy, I can read about things we've talked about and reading stimulates my thoughts about those things; thinking about those things now is different than thinking about them way back at the beginning of therapy when I was really an emotional mess.

Or, I am really trying to justify buying 2 books that I want. lol

I agree with Echoes. Teacher T is constantly telling me not to "analyze" too much...just to be on the journey, have the feelings, let things happen.

But! Some books do compliment things I have learned in T, and sort of cement it for me in my brain a little bit more.

I guess I could I have just used one of these:

[SpottedOwl]

(((Mouse)))

The solution is inside of you -- no book will ever come close to having the amount of wisdom and strength that is within your being.

I have read through so many different books, and at times they have been very useful. Not because they offer a solution, but because they offer validation. Maybe a part of me already knows that focusing on the Now is important, but hearing that in a book helps to validate my own healing instincts.

Originally Posted by Mouse_

I realised what I was doing, pulling my experience of the past into the now and that in itself is a more powerful lesson in being in the here and now then any book could even begin to offer you, so I will put the book on the bookshelve and continue my journey in the here and now...because the crack in the door is getting bigger and the light is beginning to shine through brighter and brighter!!>

Absolutely beautiful, Mouse!!!
I love it! The book reminded you that you have the tools you need, *and* you applied those tools in your session.

Let that light shine in and show you how much wisdom is really in there!

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

... When I first began therapy I had a stack of books at hand and read them during all my free time, as if they were reference books for my life. I had to put them away because they were serving as a defence against thinking about myself and my own therapy that is real and in the moment. I have a terrible habit of wanting to know what is down the road before I get there....

ECHOES - I am a reader too - when I started therapy I had NO idea what it was all about or where it was going, & my T evaded all questions, which I found very hard. I asked her if it was OK if I did some reading and she said, yes, the more the better - but by end of next two sessions every time I asked a question about something I'd read she would roll her eyes and finally she sort of asked me to quit reading, which Ihaven't done LOL.... might as well stop breathing...

thanks for your comments, I can't see that it was time wasted (on my part, obviously not on your part)

[searchingmysoul]

Mouse- I have loved reading your posts about your revelations in and outside of T. You are very brave and this post in particular I have found very helpful. Thank you.

[pachyderm]

I think Mouse needs to change her name. Maybe MouseThatRoared would be good.