[searchingmysoul]

After my session tonight all I can think about is how I want for my T to save me. Save me from my past, the pain, maybe even myself. Save me from all of the hurt I am in right now.

I know that no one can do the work but me, I know it. But right now I want to be saved.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((searchingmysoul)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I know that feeling. I know it really well.

I remember early in therapy telling T "you can't give me what I need" - and really meaning it. It felt like a huge realization...that I needed to heal, I needed somehow to return to the past and have it be different, that I needed someone to love the child me that wasn't loved.

Now I see that he HAS given me what I need. And he is still giving it to me. I have to take the risks and be vulnerable, but he is there, meeting me halfway when I do, and I really am healing.

I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but the hurt will get better. I'm sorry it hurts so much right now, though. It's hard to imagine the path in front of us...but I think if we just keep moving forward with a little faith, the healing will be there.

[gimmeice]

(((((((((((((( searchingmysoul )))))))))))))))))))))))))

I agree with earthmama completely. I have wanted for my T to save me several times and I think that she could sense it because she has asked me if I was upset that she couldn't just fix the pain? When I didn't answer she told me that if that is how I was feeling that it was normal.

[searchingmysoul]

Thank you both so much. I am in such a tough place right now. I really appreciate both the kind words and the encouragement.

[Mouse_]

Originally Posted by searchingmysoul

After my session tonight all I can think about is how I want for my T to save me. Save me from my past, the pain, maybe even myself. Save me from all of the hurt I am in right now.

I know that no one can do the work but me, I know it. But right now I want to be saved.

And I hope you are saved!! we all deserve that!

[searchingmysoul]

Thank you Mouse!

And thank you to you all for the kind words.

PC!

[chaotic13]

Sometimes I think I look for and expect my T to provide support, to know just what to say to me to help, or to give me something.It feels like crap when we don't get what we need.I hope you can work through it.

[Angel_of_the_Past]

Originally Posted by searchingmysoul

I know that no one can do the work but me, I know it. But right now I want to be saved.

You're right, our Ts can't save us and we need to do the work but we can lean heavily on our Ts until we regain our strength. Some times the hardest part is acknowledging this and asking for the help (been there done that). Acknowledging my need for help then accepting it was and is such a struggle. Hang in there with T, let T know you need to lean on them for support it will come.

Hope this helps!

Hugs from an Angel!

[searchingmysoul]

Yes! This is the exact place I am in right now. The acknowledging and asking for help. With the encouragement and kind words here I have been able to put me needs out there a little more in T this week. It was very scary but so helpful just to express them.

All I can say is how hard this is and how thankful I have been to be able to have a sounding board here.

~Searching

Originally Posted by Angel_of_the_Past

You're right, our Ts can't save us and we need to do the work but we can lean heavily on our Ts until we regain our strength. Some times the hardest part is acknowledging this and asking for the help (been there done that). Acknowledging my need for help then accepting it was and is such a struggle. Hang in there with T, let T know you need to lean on them for support it will come.

Hope this helps!

Hugs from an Angel!