[hangingon]

Most of you know that I just started seeing a new T two weeks ago.
Well, I find myself really wanting to tell her things. Things that I have never told my other therapist. Yet, I really haven't told this new T much at all, just more getting to know each other a little.

Now, I leaving on a cruise this monday morning for a week and I am actually getting nervous about leaving. Not having T ect. I mean I have not been without weekly therapy this whole year. My T nor I have ever missed. Yet, I have never had to call for and extra appointment ect. So why now would these thoughts be hitting me now?
I have these stupid thoughts that my new T is not going to be here when I return. That she's not going to want to see me ect....
Maybe it stems from losing my mom recently. I don't have a clue.

The strange thing is, I have never felt this way about my other T. I mean I went weekly because I really needed to work on me. But I never had an attachment to my other T at all.

It almost scares me about this new one, that maybe perhaps I shouldn't see her, being I feel quite comfortable so soon. ugh....

I Guess I should say that I am no where near the trusting point with this new T yet. It takes a ton for me to trust but there's just something about her that sets me at ease, to the point where I feel like I will be able to trust her.

Did any of you ever feel pretty comfortable from the beginning with your T?
Hangingon

[splitimage]

I was pretty comfortable with my t from day one. I was lucky, we just really clicked.

[Perna]

I felt my T was "right" for me toward the beginning when she responded in a way I "needed" but hadn't experienced before. I decided then that I could trust her (not the same as actually doing it :-) and vowed I would try my hardest to work with her, do everything I could to get better.

It sounds to me like you just have a good connection/attachment to her and that's great! I had trouble with vacations too so always timed mine so they were the same time she took hers, that way I was "preoccupied" with my vacation and didn't miss her as much? I very rarely, in nearly 20 years seeing her, had a vacation when she wasn't going to be off too. But my T took off pretty often; she wasn't native to the US so went "home" to visit for 6 weeks or more at a time, several times a year. I learned in all that time (though it was painful) to deal and that helped me a great deal in the end I think, with termination.

[coconut64]

I liked my T from day one, I guess it was because he was the only one who didnt grill me with questions on the first appointment. I consulted with three different Ts. He let me tell my story at my own pace. It has taken me a long time to start to tear my walls down. It has been 14 months and we're still at it. Even though I couldn't do it right away, I knew pretty much right away that he was good for me and that I could trust him if only I allowed myself to do just that.

[Luce]

Hi Hangingon. I too have recently started with a new therapist. I saw one T for two weeks, but it didn't feel right, so I tried another T I had been thinking about. I liked the second T from the frist interview... like you, I felt imemdiately at ease with her. I don't 'trust' her yet, but I do feel that I will come to in time. I find myself wanting to go see her, and feel eager to get to the point wher we know each other a bit better so we can get to some 'real' work.

Like you I don't really know how it is going to work out yet.
But I feel hopeful.

Hey - have a nice cruise (lucky you). Your new T will still be there when you get back.

[sunrise]

Yes, I really clicked with my current T from day one. We still had to develop trust, though, but it came reasonably quickly. And it is fun to get to know each other. Don't rush through the first phase!

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by sunrise

... I really clicked with my current T from day one. We still had to develop trust, though, but it came reasonably quickly.

thanks for this Sunny! I was thinking that T and I did not click from day one but I would have said tht only because I did not trust; but it does take time (in my case a lot of time) and I think I trust her now.
I know I've liked her from the start.

[cai23]

I clicked with my T right away and have always felt comfortable with him. Even though its taken along time to trust him, which I believe will happen eventually as long your comfortable with the therapist. I've seen acouple and had so much anxiety just sitting in the same room with them I thought I would pass out just having to tell them anything

cai

[hangingon]

ok...so I ended up emailing my T last night. I told her that I know these thoughts are irrational but that I needed her to know them.

She wrote me back saying,
I think your intuition is right on- facing the fear of loss and abandonment is not only a part of grief, but also part of trauma recovery. Tell yourself it's ok to take a break from your therapy work, and let your mind and body be busy with fun!! I'll be here when you get back!

I still can't believe I emailed her......I barely know her lol...... I am really working on trying to be a bit more vulnerable, something I absolutely hate doing.

Thanks for you posts
Hangingon

[MissCharlotte]

I remember T's first vacation and he said it would be difficult for me. That was about three and a half months after I began therapy. I thought, what the heck is he talking about, he must think highly of himself!

Well, of course I missed him but I didn't admit it easily.

I'm glad you e-mailed her. Have a great vacation!

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by hangingon

Most of you know that I just started seeing a new T two weeks ago.
Well, I find myself really wanting to tell her things. Things that I have never told my other therapist. Yet, I really haven't told this new T much at all, just more getting to know each other a little.

Now, I leaving on a cruise this monday morning for a week and I am actually getting nervous about leaving. Not having T ect. I mean I have not been without weekly therapy this whole year. My T nor I have ever missed. Yet, I have never had to call for and extra appointment ect. So why now would these thoughts be hitting me now?
I have these stupid thoughts that my new T is not going to be here when I return. That she's not going to want to see me ect....
Maybe it stems from losing my mom recently. I don't have a clue.

The strange thing is, I have never felt this way about my other T. I mean I went weekly because I really needed to work on me. But I never had an attachment to my other T at all.

It almost scares me about this new one, that maybe perhaps I shouldn't see her, being I feel quite comfortable so soon. ugh....

I Guess I should say that I am no where near the trusting point with this new T yet. It takes a ton for me to trust but there's just something about her that sets me at ease, to the point where I feel like I will be able to trust her.

Did any of you ever feel pretty comfortable from the beginning with your T?
Hangingon

I felt comfortable really quick with my T when I first started seeing him.
I'm not usually like that, but then again I was all sorts of fubbed up and didn't really care what I said or did... but I really did like him right away. I probably would have told any other T to screw off in the state I was in if they asked the sorts of questions that he did, but my T has something about him that's REAL. I was used to phonies by that point I think.

Plus, my T gives me coffee which always helps... LOL

[phoenix7]

I have seen 4 T's - the first work one was ok but no trust and he only referred people on didnt treat - the 2nd was a nightmare he didnt listen and told me i just had to get over it and get on with my life (that was the work referred one) - he also said everyone had thoughts of suicide that was normal !

the third one - it was really strange but I trusted him from the moment i talked to him - and I hadnt trusted anyone for years - i didnt even trust myself - he knew when i was glossing over things or hiding things and helped me a lot - unfortunately he got very ill - so I'm back with another work referred psyche - she just wants to talk when I want strategies to get over this - but its the best i have so its ok and she did go for a walk with me one day when I couldnt sit still in her office - we had "therapy by the river" which was great

and how brave of you to email your T - I couldnt have done that - whenI had to see the work psych I emalied him 5 times before I actually let one get through (i deleted the others form his mailbox before he could read them) so you are very brave - and what a good reply. Have a great cruise P7

[hangingon]

I really enjoy hearing how others felt when they first met their T.
When I started seeing a therapist for the first time in my life this year. I had no idea what to expect. I didn't research ect, all I knew is I was feeling really down and being in school that was making my life pretty difficult so I decided to see someone on my own.
I can say from day one I was not trusting. It took me a long time and I kept thinking maybe she's not the one. I had to keep telling myself, no, it's just me, I am new at this. I kept giving it time and more time.

Then a few weeks back I decided to see two other Therapist just to see if it was me indeed. The first one was horrible. The second one, which I just started seeing two weeks ago put me at ease from day one. There was something about her that was real. She told me a few things like she had a daughter ect. Then I mentioned I love travel, so I told her some places I went to, then she told me that she had been to Africa.

I don't know, some may say they don't want to know anything personal about their T but to me it made her real. Not some person out of reach. My other therapist only shared one thing and only after I asked but didn't tell me detail. She was sooooo professional, not that I don't like professional believe me, but their was never a connection, I always felt extremely distant from her. Now I have to break the news to her when I return from my trip that I am seeing another T. I am scared to death to do that, I have a huge issue with confrontation. I don't even know what I am going to say to her.

Anyways, I woke up this morning so sick. I was fine when I went to bed and woke up with a severe stiff neck and can barely swallow my throat is so sore. I have been loading up on airborne and zinc and all that good stuff. I leave early monday morning. Ugh this needs to go away. I may head into patient first tomorrow just to see if I need antibiotics before I head off on vacation. Woundn't you know it, I have not been sick in almost three years and now it just so happens just before vacation.

Hangingon

[phoenix7]

I took the chickens way out with T2 and just didnt make another appointment but to justify myself he was the one who when I told him I had been thinking of suicide said "ah well we all do that one time or another" maybe he needed some help too!

[velcro003]

I didn't have a 'click' moment with my T. I was terrified to be there for the longest time. It has gotten better, but I still do talk about how I'm still not comfortable. She doesn't seem too concerned that I am, though. I would hope its not because she would drag it out when it doesn't seem to be working, but more because I'm just reallllyyyy slow at trusting, which I don't really know why. So, I don't think this was the perfect fit, but I am hoping it will be ok in the end. She is super smart, and I think it partially has to do with my skewed perspective and fears on the interaction. I still have some doubts because I read all these wonderful stories, but I just can't imagine starting over.

[hangingon]

Velcro
I know what you mean about starting over. I was so worried about having to do that. Yet, after just two sessions with my new T it seems pretty possible to do. I guess I just really enjoy that I felt comfortable from the start with her. Perhaps my other T was a jump start for this relationship. I was definately not as nervous this time around when I first entered the office, either that or she just has a very calming manner about her that set me at ease

I hope she knows what she is doing lol, I was all over the place with my other one.
I am truly hoping that this one works for the better. So far so good, which was suprising having been with my other one for 11 months and not feeling that click.

Hangingon

[velcro003]

I guess....sigh. Does EVERYONE have a relationship like that with their therapist?

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by velcro003

I guess....sigh. Does EVERYONE have a relationship like that with their therapist?

No.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showp...9&postcount=28

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by phoenix7

the 2nd was a nightmare he didnt listen and told me i just had to get over it and get on with my life (that was the work referred one) -

people pay him to tell them this?! I can get that for free at work, at home, among my relatives. sheesh!

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by phoenix7

I took the chickens way out with T2 and just didnt make another appointment but to justify myself he was the one who when I told him I had been thinking of suicide said "ah well we all do that one time or another" maybe he needed some help too!

IMO you were right to leave that guy fast. How he thinks he is in a "helping" profession escapes me.