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#1
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![]() I went in last week and his first question was how are you doing? I am good I replied with a smile. So he started on the standard questions – have you hurt yourself, had thoughts about hurting yourself or killing yourself. I told him well I have had thoughts in tough situations but more like a fleeting thought and nothing that I would act on. He continued to poke at that as if he didn’t believe me, or that was the message I was getting. To add to my confusion he then wanted to set an appointment for ONE month away, he settled for two. I couldn’t decide if he thought I was lying or hadn’t been clear enough but I made the appointment and left. I brought this up in therapy and the first thing my T pointed out was that when a person who is suicidal decides to do it, they feel better and can even act happy. My chin hit the floor so hard it rattled my brain as I took that in and realized that yah I knew that. I had to bring up how I felt and how I knew I couldn’t’ read his mind but his actions seemed over board to me and left me doubting him and me even to wondering if I should try to change doctors. T told me to ask him about it, I said well now that I have talked to you about it I can but before I wouldn’t have. Natch, T challenged my thinking and wanted to know what I thought would happen if I asked him about the situation. Oh me what convoluted thinking! If I asked him then he would think I was lying and trying to hide my self-destructive desires. I would ashamed of thinking that he didn’t trust me to know when I needed more help. Or or or, well I dunno just clearly not thinking straight. Even harder to describe it now that I can see that it was crazy thinking. Sighhhhhh.
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dalila Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere. -Erma Bombeck |
#2
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Yes perhaps it would be good if you could talk to him about his decision to see you in one month.
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
#3
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Good idea to talk to him. I wanted to let you knwow I read your posts. ((HUG))
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#4
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I think he cares and didnt want to leave you out on a limb as you had had those thoughts - even though they were fleeting they were still there and he may want to monitor that and sort it out with you - its good you have your T to bounce things off of - he sounds great - take care P7
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#5
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((dalila))
Why not just say, no thanks I'll see you in two months. The decision is not just his. In fact, I would say the decision on when to see him should be mutual.
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