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#1
Dec 31, 2008, 06:09 AM
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 I had been doing much better and then I saw my psychiatrist. When things were fairly stable but still not good he only saw me every three months, then when things got bad for me it was monthly with call him if there are more problems. As I was stabilizing again he stretched the appointments back out to two months.I went in last week and his first question was how are you doing? I am good I replied with a smile. So he started on the standard questions – have you hurt yourself, had thoughts about hurting yourself or killing yourself. I told him well I have had thoughts in tough situations but more like a fleeting thought and nothing that I would act on. He continued to poke at that as if he didn’t believe me, or that was the message I was getting. To add to my confusion he then wanted to set an appointment for ONE month away, he settled for two. I couldn’t decide if he thought I was lying or hadn’t been clear enough but I made the appointment and left. I brought this up in therapy and the first thing my T pointed out was that when a person who is suicidal decides to do it, they feel better and can even act happy. My chin hit the floor so hard it rattled my brain as I took that in and realized that yah I knew that. I had to bring up how I felt and how I knew I couldn’t’ read his mind but his actions seemed over board to me and left me doubting him and me even to wondering if I should try to change doctors. T told me to ask him about it, I said well now that I have talked to you about it I can but before I wouldn’t have. Natch, T challenged my thinking and wanted to know what I thought would happen if I asked him about the situation. Oh me what convoluted thinking! If I asked him then he would think I was lying and trying to hide my self-destructive desires. I would ashamed of thinking that he didn’t trust me to know when I needed more help. Or or or, well I dunno just clearly not thinking straight. Even harder to describe it now that I can see that it was crazy thinking. Sighhhhhh.
__________________
dalila Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere. -Erma Bombeck |
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#2
Dec 31, 2008, 06:50 AM
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Yes perhaps it would be good if you could talk to him about his decision to see you in one month.
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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#3
Dec 31, 2008, 11:51 PM
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Good idea to talk to him. I wanted to let you knwow I read your posts. ((HUG))
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 Happy fall my friends
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#4
Jan 01, 2009, 03:16 AM
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I think he cares and didnt want to leave you out on a limb as you had had those thoughts - even though they were fleeting they were still there and he may want to monitor that and sort it out with you - its good you have your T to bounce things off of - he sounds great - take care P7
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#5
Jan 01, 2009, 05:16 AM
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((dalila))
Why not just say, no thanks I'll see you in two months. The decision is not just his. In fact, I would say the decision on when to see him should be mutual.
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