[MissCharlotte]

I have a problem. I dissociate frequently in-session and it's getting old. Sometimes I know the trigger--it's an obvious topic or a feeeling I am in touch with. I think that sometimes it hurts T's feelings.

Tonight was my first session back after his vacation and I told him it was hard and at the beginning of session I had to slow down because I felt myself outside of my body. He asked me if his office becomes a trauma place to me.

We talked about staying grounded and how difficult that is for me. T said that it happens so quickly..one second I am with him and the next I am gone. I imagine he's thinking, there she goes again! At one point he said, stay with me Miss. So we both took some deep breaths and I tried to focus on my breath and where it landed, the way I do in yoga. I slid my feet out of my shoes and put my feet flat on the floor to help.

I am wondering if you have any techniques, tricks, methods that you use to stay grounded in session that you would like to share.

[Luce]

Hi Miss C. I have that problem in therapy as well. Can be very hard to stay connected to the therapy room indeed!

One very simple trick that helps me is to count things in the room. T told me that the act of counting is performed by a different part of the brain that does the dissociating, so counting activates that other part of the brain, thus helping to ground. It works for me *every* time.

You can count anything and everything - books on the shelf, tiles in the ceiling, items of furniture in the room, squiggles in the carpet... when I have counted all of one thing I just move on to something else and count that too, for as long as I need to.

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by MissCharlotte

I have a problem. I dissociate frequently in-session and it's getting old. Sometimes I know the trigger--it's an obvious topic or a feeeling I am in touch with. I think that sometimes it hurts T's feelings.

Tonight was my first session back after his vacation and I told him it was hard and at the beginning of session I had to slow down because I felt myself outside of my body. He asked me if his office becomes a trauma place to me.

We talked about staying grounded and how difficult that is for me. T said that it happens so quickly..one second I am with him and the next I am gone. I imagine he's thinking, there she goes again! At one point he said, stay with me Miss. So we both took some deep breaths and I tried to focus on my breath and where it landed, the way I do in yoga. I slid my feet out of my shoes and put my feet flat on the floor to help.

I am wondering if you have any techniques, tricks, methods that you use to stay grounded in session that you would like to share.

Well hello MissCharlotte

I don't disassociate much unless I'm having a panic attack, but I meander way off path. I also have anxiety that takes over that isn't a panic attack but very intense none-the-less, and my T usually recognizes this, stopping it by redirecting me.

The times when my T doesn't know that I'm not really there or losing focus and wandering into another world, I have learned to tell my T when it is beginning to be that way, and he usually is really good at redirecting me. This was at first difficult for me to tell him (when he wasn't aware of my disassociation-like experiences). Now I don't have as much of a problem with it. I have also discussed it with him. Of course, having a panic attack in session like I did a couple of times really makes you lose all shyness after that point...

Other than that, I have no other tricks, but I'm sure many people here do who have similar grounding issues during session...

Have you asked your T yet? If so, what does he suggest?

Often, T will try to bring me back, and I tell him to just let me go, I want to rest.

Last session, he told me he feels lonely and bored and sleepy when I "leave the room". I was like "oh well,buddy!"

Anyhow, when I am willing to stay present....sometimes taking some sips of cold water helps. Looking at a certain picture on his wall helps. Playing with the things on his desk helps. Switching where I am sitting helps - physically moving to a different spot (that one is new, and it helps A LOT). T does a lot to try to help me - gives me things to hold, holds my hands and rubs them, calls me back - sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I have to be WILLING to stay. And even then it's hard sometimes.

There was a time when it did feel like T's office had become a traumatizing place to me- after a bad session when he asked me a stupid question out of the blue and sent me into one of the worst flashbacks I have EVER had. We had to deal with that in the next couple of sessions, but it's a safe place again. DO you feel like his office is traumatizing for you right now?? Because it would be worth pausing whatever work you are doing to work on that if that is the case....

(((((((((((((((((((Miss C)))))))))))))))))))))

[chaotic13]

I withdraw, stare out the window, and shutdown when my stress level goes up. My T just waits for me to re-engage or change the subject.
I usually just focus on my breathing. During really tough topic, I tend to press my car key into my palm. For some reason, this helps. During the exercise I did last session, my T asked me for a funny story or situation. During the exercise she would switch to this topic as kind of a distractor. This seemed to settle me a lot.Then we would start again. Not sure if this is what you are looking for.

[skeksi]

Originally Posted by chaotic13

During the exercise she would switch to this topic as kind of a distractor. This seemed to settle me a lot.Then we would start again.

Something similar my T has done is established a couple of topics that I really like to talk about--my job and a hobby I have. So when things get hard, he'll ask me a specific question about one of those things. Sometimes he just rambles on about something tangentially related to those topics, but it always comes back to asking me a question, to get me to start participating in a nonthreatening conversation so I'm still 'connected.'

[MissCharlotte]

Well, thanks all. I'm talking about when it gets really really realy INTENSE and I dissociate. I get a headache usually first, and then I go. T asks me to stay with him and does all those chatty things you all have described. I think I was looking for more active ideas. I like EM's idea of sipping cold water and changing seats. And I also like Chaotic's idea of pressing the car key into her hand....

EM, I think you hit the nail on the head. I have to go back to square one and re-establish the office as my safe place. Since the rupture I don't even want to use the crayons/pastels there. That is not a good thing. But I can't establish the office as a safe place until I find T again in my heart. I just called him to ask for a minute on the phone today. Screw it. He'll have to deal.

[chaotic13]

I get it, things you do when you are no longer able to pull yourself back or when you can't hear the redirects. I think my brain quits therapy before I get to this point...I think this is my built-in control mechanism that make my therapy difficult for my T but safer for me.

For me I think tactile stimuli is what I used to avoid totally dissociating. I think I start rubbing my palm on the arm rest. When the fabric stimulus is not enough I resort to deeper pressure using my thumb knuckle, fingernail or my keys if I am holding them. A little noxious stimuli seems to redirect my attention to the hear and now. Then I focus on my breathing. If I get to the noxious stimuli point, I typically discontinue on that topic and move to an easier one. Its funny, I never really thought about this pattern before, I wonder if my T sees it happening. She's commented on my squirming pattern before. Now that I think about it she probably does see it because when I get to this point she just sits silently and gives me a chance to settle myself. She also doesn't push.

[lizardlady]

Took me a long to reach the point that I could/would tell my T when I felt myself starting to "leave". He would have me make eye contact with him and talk about something non-threatening.

[deliquesce]

for me, noxious stimuli seems to work well. so clenching my fists so i can feel my nails in my palms, or shaking my head from side to side to get myself back in there..... sometimes when things are getting rough, i will start rocking myself gently and that helps to keep me grounded and from leaving my body. i find it helps me concentrate.

my pdoc is very good at sensing when i am leaving... he changes his voice to go very quiet and soothing, and will talk nonsense stuff to me, just so i can hear his voice. tells me that we will take it slowly, and he'll be gentle, and that i'm in control and that he respects me... i trust him a lot so when he starts going on like this, i am reminded that he is safe, and i feel safe enough to return .

[Kiya]

I also clench fists and dig nails into palms... and shake head to try and clear it (when close to switching alters or diss.ing out) this also shows T that things are rough and I don't know who or where i'll be in the next instance. Then she can help mitigate something different.
Or i'll say "I'm switching" and we'll work on breathing and mindfulness of the body

[phoenix7]

apart from using the safe topic -and sipping water or puttng the water glass against my arm (it always has ice in it) I tap my finger on my arm or turn the glass round and round in my hand - it keeps me "present"

[MINIME]

My t have me hit my fet on the floor like stomping and focus on parts of my body. Sometimes i find myself floating off and i scratch my hand but they frown on that and wont let me do that.