Pachyderm Where Are YOU?

Are you okay?

bump for Pachy

(((((((( Pachyderm )))))))))

(((((((((((((((( pachy )))))))))))))))

Miss you-Angel

Nice to think that anyone noticed!

Like, it seems, a lot of people here, I have been having trouble with therapy and life in general. I am extremely unstable, and can go from almost getting out of control with frustration and anger and fear, to being calmer and even sometimes to really feeling that I see a lot of things that most people do not. Actually that last part also becomes very frightening, because I feel totally alone.

For example, I was feeling so out of control last night, so desperate at the futility of my life, that I threw something and injured myself and drew blood when one of the things I threw hit my own hand. I don't think it is a serious injury, physically speaking. But it tells me I have to avoid people, because of my instability. I can say or do things that people will not understand and I will lose any friendship that may be growing, or I may get in more serious trouble than that. I feel that I have to avoid doing the same thing on Psych Central: saying things that will (and do) upset people. I think it is better for me to just say nothing.

I do not get along with people. I get upset with being told (here) what I "should" do. It is obvious I am a failure from every point of view. From the point of view of evolution it seems clear that I will not pass on my genes to the future, and I guess that is how nature weeds out the unfit. I am a failure at therapy. I cannot succeed there, and that has been proved true many times. Many times when I look as deeply into myself as I can, all I can see is cowardice and mindless fear. I have no one who can listen to me; all want to change me at best or run from me or kill me at worst. Or so it seems. No one can just listen to what I say without comment. I cannot find any therapy situation in which they do just that, though I can imagine it. I cannot communicate this to others when looking for therapy alternatives, because my mind goes from being able to think well to almost complete stupor. And no one seems to understand that process.

Just one more sad tale. I should keep my mouth shut. I will probably not come on here much, if any. Saying that too, is a no no, as I understand it.

((((((( pachyderm )))))))) I'm sorry you are having a rough time right now. I feel you are a part of PC.

(((((((((((Pachy)))))))))))))) don't leave

(((((pachy)))))

I'm sorry you're feeling so alone. Take whatever time you need, and we'll be here when you're ready to come back. In the meantime, you will be missed.

I had to laugh at your story of throwing something only to have it come back and hit you. Not that you were hurt...that is not funny, but the almost cosmic joke of it -- you lash outward, and it ends up coming back to you.

I think there is a great deal of wisdom inside of you, and those moments when you understand things are instances of that wisdom coming out.

My thoughts are with you pachy.

Well, I envy you the love you get when you share here and say all the things you're not supposed to say. You get it because you're so human and honest.

You seem to have some knack of getting response that I dont have.

they havent got a smiley for envy, but it would be fun to think of one................

river

(((patchy))) people here do care about you, you know. sorry you are having a hard time of it. thinking of you.

((((((( pachyderm ))))))))

(((((((((((((((pachy))))))))))))))

Missing you!

(((pachyderm)))

people offer advice because they care about you and want to try to help but as we are not able to come round and sit and talk - thats all we can do - we are here to listen if you need us P7

I can.

I won't judge.

So glad you are ok.

I've had quite a few temper tantrums in my day.

(((((Pachy)))))

I'm sorry Pachy!

River, I like you because

1. you are aware -- and honest;

2. you try to actually understand things.

So, that is your pat on the head for today...

: )

oh, bother, ten characters, there you go! and I wanted to be cool and brief.

Good to see you back in action pachyderm, even if you do appear to have little faith in all therapists!

So you feel that we are not on the same page with you?

You're just upset that I never followed through and married you when I said I would!

You would have been a bigamist!

I have been called worse things!

I am aware that my reactions to/experiences with therapists make you uncomfortable.

No! I just don't like lies being spread about ALL therapists. Just because you have been mistreated by therapists doesn't mean that all therapists are like that.

Love ya!

Show me where I said anything about all therapists. Especially lies...

Therapists can have a very strong effect on very vulnerable people; much like the effect of parents on little children. That is one thing that happened to me. I think it can be very stressful to hear about people like me who have been extremely vulnerable. It certainly is stressful to me.