T-decided termination: 4 types of reasons

my (male) T suggested a few times that i might want to consider seeing a female T when talking about some certain issues of mine. they mainly related to sexual abuse stuff and also my current relationships with men.

whether it was because he was uncomfortable with it, or whether he thought i would be more comfortable with a female T, or whether he wanted to prevent transference, i don't know, and i never followed it up.

at the end of the day, imapatient, it is only one T's opinion. she isn't god, she doesn't know how other female Ts might react to your issues. if you want to see a female T in the future, go for it!

imp (that's what i'm going to shorten your name to ), from what you've said above i would bet money that she just became afraid. she was probably worried you were going to do something like show up at her house unannounced or something else that would freak her out and be a real boundary violation. some of us women can be pretty sensitive when it comes to our safety. also, in a book recommended by pc it said that many, if not most, therapists are given very little training on how to deal with erotic transference. chances are she just didn't know how to handle what you were sharing with her and it freaked her out. i don't think it had to do with her thinking you were a bad person at all. if she consulted a lawyer she was probably worried for her safety. if she thought you were a bad person she would have consulted an exorcist. kidding!!

i think it would be great if your male t could talk to her to get more clarity for you. don't be so hard on yourself okay? you're not a bad person!

Ok, this thread has been on my mind and I read through your original post about T terminating.

Temination does happen but I don't think it is because the patient/client is 'bad.' It might happen that the T has other things going on, not a good match, got too involved, gone as far as it can go, not in the area of that T's expertise or told to terminate by a supervisor. Many many reasons can be found for termination but some sort of explanation needs to be given so the patient/client can move on.

From reading your story, you were with this particular T for a very long time. So it wasn't that you were bad or not trying in therapy but perhaps you two had gone as far as you could. And her suggestion was that you now needed a male T.

Correct me if I'm wrong, you made a sex-fantasy website based on your T's character. Didn't use any names etc but did use a picture that looked like your T. Your then girl friend finds the website and is upset. Reports it and your T is forced to terminate? Maybe your T could see that your sex-fantasy towards her was unhealthy. Termination and passing on to someone else would be her only option.

“Forced” to terminate is the minor issue--was she "forced" or was it more of a choice? Valid reasons exist in abundance for why termination was right in that situation, boundaries, loss of trust, discomfort, etc. Unable to remain objective was what I was told. That would define many of the reasons that fit what I said and you said, but....

The hang-up for me is that I wasn't given a concrete reason like you state. I was given a conceptual reason “unable to remain objective” –o.k., fine, but why not? Like what you state above, that's an easy to understand reason, easy to accept. It's concrete and I can read about it anywhere--the general reason--as being a universally-agreed upon valid/required reasons to terminate. But not knowing that that's what was going on is where my mind runs to the worst case scenario where I am "bad." Not being given a concrete reason has led to my distress—though amplified by my fears whereas it might not be a big deal for others.