[teejai]

I was told the other day that i was not suitable for psychotherapy and i am wondering why this is ie what makes a person unsuitable?

Previous abortive attempts at therapy included with two therapists who were into pushing the 'If you want to mend the error of your ways '(as though you're a bad person) agenda, rather than a more constructive and helpful 'you're not a bad person but you need help with your coping mechanisms', and an OT person who was untrained in therapy work but was assigned to do some work with me re my anxiety. She quickly told me i needed intensive therapy and all she could do was a sticking plaster job at best. She later announced she was a member of a small religious sect and dumped me when i inadvertently offended her religious sensibilities.

How the beeping hell are you supposed to get past psychological crap if you are not given caring and supportive therapeutic help to do so?

It is playing on my mind as to why i am not suitable.

[pegasus]

(((((((( teejai )))))))))

Gosh! Who told you that?

It is true that you need to want to and be ready to do the work on yourself but I wouldn't say that anybody is unsuitable!

Go back to your GP and push for it!

[ErinBear]

Hi Teejai,

I'm sorry you had these negative experiences in therapy. My guess is that there is somebody out there with whom you can do therapy, if you wish, but you may have to keep trying. Sometimes it takes a number of tries until you find a counselor or therapist who is the right match for you.

If the therapists you've been seeing so far are mostly trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is very popular right now, you might try moving away from that model of therapy to somebody who has other training. You might find that they are more open and accepting. That has been my experience so far. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has its plusses and minuses but it can be pretty rigid, in my experience, and sometimes the therapists who practice it can say things that seem pretty harsh and blunt. Maybe this approach works better for some people than others. I know it doesn't suit me!

Also, at least in the US, many therapists offer the opportunity to have a short talk on the phone before you meet in person. I'm not sure if this is true in England also, but if it is, you might try that, to see if you think you feel the start of a good connection. Sometimes it's possible to pick these things up, even in a few minutes of speaking over the telephone.

Take care,
ErinBear

[KUREHA]

I didn't think anyone could be unsuitable

I think you just need to keep trying until you find a better therapist or maybe go to the doctors they might know someone better that could help.

The psychologist I see does CBT and she's awesome and I was worried that I only had a few times left of seeing her since it's usually 20 sessions, but I'll get to see her longer because it's a complex case.
So she could have left it at 20, but she's not - so what I'm trying to say is, don't worry about what they said you just need a good therapist

I really think you should see your doctor though, when I did I got to see a psychiatric nurse and then a psychologist - so maybe that might be the best thing to try.

Take Care

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((((( teejai ))))))))))))))))))
I think that whoever told you that is wrong, please keep trying I hope that you find the right therapist for you.

[splitimage]

Can you afford to go private. That might give you access to a broader range of therapists/therapy than you might get on the NHS.

I know it's expensive, but I went the private route here.

--splitimage

[Fuzzybear]

Dear teejai,

The person who told you that is wrong.

It occurs to me that the unsuitability may be elsewhere...

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by teejai

I was told the other day that i was not suitable for psychotherapy and i am wondering why this is ie what makes a person unsuitable?

If she made such a bold statement, it seems to me that she needs to justify it and give a reason. Even without knowing her reason, my first reaction is to disagree. I wonder if what she meant was, "you are an unsuitable candidate for my psychotherapy practice because I have limited skills and so am unable to help you." Since you continue to think about her statement about suitability, could you phone her up and ask her? It seems she should tell you when it is that important.

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with the other two therapists who just wanted to point out your "errors." Yuck. I wonder if there is a you can screen the therapists for suitability before you invest time, energy, and money in them.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by teejai

I was told the other day that i was not suitable for psychotherapy...

At one time when I was looking for therapy and said I wanted something along the lines of psychoanalysis (i.e. psychodynamic) the woman interviewing me said, in what seemed to me to be a half-gloating manner, that I was not "strong enough" for that. So, you are not alone. Sometimes people that you go to for help are not very helpful!

[imapatient]

Originally Posted by teejai

I was told the other day that i was not suitable for psychotherapy and i am wondering why this is ie what makes a person unsuitable?

That's pretty horrible. Not to explain what they meant is pouring gasoline on the fire they lit.

What about trying to see a T as a bridge between that and starting therapy with someone on a longer-term basis? Someone to deal with that issue, to help you understand what they could possibly mean--maybe have them contact those people to get an explanation. That way neither you nor that T has the burden of wondering about creating a future ongoing therapy relationship, just a one-issue focus and getting the help of that T in finding a good T to deal with you and your issues in general. I'm doing something like that now with a past T just to process the termination by another T.

[deliquesce]

one of my friends told she was too depressed to be a candidate for therapy. they suggested she take meds, stabilise a bit, and then return. i think this is ok, in a way. therapy does take a lot of commitment at times, and if you aren't able to do it, then it's kind of like a waste of money?

my pdoc has also suggested that i give therapy a break at various times. he does this when i am getting particularly stressed out. kind of like to stop everything crowding in on me.

[ECHOES]

You are suitable of course. But you have had the misfortune of finding therapists not suited to you.

Keep looking until you find what feels good to you.
Here's a site I like that I found when I was researching types of therapies and therapists. What I subsequently looked for was a female therapist who could provide psychoanalytic psychotherapy. That's what I found and it's a great fit. I have been in therapies with therapists over the years that was not very helpful to me. My current therapy is just what I was looking for.

Therapy is about learning about yourself. Everyone and anyone can do that.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

Here's a site I like that I found when I was researching types of therapies and therapists.

I think you forgot to include the site...