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#1
Jan 23, 2009, 09:32 AM
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Why put so much work into something that is so restrictive in real life?
Okay maybe I am just venting, really. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. |
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#2
Jan 23, 2009, 01:46 PM
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Quote:
 I must say I feel this way fairly often, like I'm wasting a huge amount of my time and energy on it. I think it's a fairly common feeling to come up in such a strange/lopsided/boundary-filled "relationship." I don't know if it's ultimately true or not (for me). I do know that I spent long periods of my life not in therapy, and I didn't manage to learn some of the things I am learning now. So, I guess it's helpful in some ways. And certainly it feels good/intense/important sometimes. Meh. I guess it's all about finding that elusive balance of where to best put your energy... 
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 sittingatwatersedge
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#3
Jan 23, 2009, 01:54 PM
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What is restrictive about it?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#4
Jan 23, 2009, 05:36 PM
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T and I put a ridiculous amount of work until our relationship....and I do think it's worth it. I feel so secure and loved and I feel like it's probably a feeling that children (in safe families) have that I missed out on. Just knowing that there is someone who thinks I am okay just how I am and who will listen to whatever I have to say and who won't abandon me or hurt me is so huge and so comforting. It's such a good feeling, but it took a lot of work to get here. (see my 23849324832947 other posts!! lol)
And I see how my work in the therapy relationship is starting to spill over into my other relationships. I do feel more empowered, and more sure of myself. Not 100% of the time, by any means, but for me to feel that way at all is HUGE. Believe me, I went into therapy with my tail between my legs, with my head and my heart and my soul full of secrets I thought were too terrible to tell, with my only "role" in life being the role of "caretaker" and "helper" and even "doormat". I can see that changing, slowly but surely. It IS hard work though, and not much fun a lot of the time.... Hang in there, EF 
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| Sannah, sunrise
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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