[SeptemberMorn]

A Recovery Bill of Rights for Trauma Survivors

Copyright © 1995
by: Thomas V. Maguire, Ph.D.
191 King Street, Chappaqua, NY 10514.
tmaguire@pipeline.com

All rights reserved, except that permission is hereby granted to freely reproduce and distribute this document, provided that it is reproduced unaltered in its entirety and distributed free of charge.

As a Matter of Personal AUTHORITY, You Have the Right . . .

• to manage your life according to your own values and judgment.
• to direct your recovery, answerable to no one for your goals, effort, or progress.
• to gather information to make intelligent decisions about your recovery.
• to seek help from a variety of sources, unhindered by demands for exclusivity.
• to decline help from anyone without having to justify the decision.
• to have faith in your powers of self restoration -- and to seek allies who share it.
• to trust allies in healing as much as any adult can trust another, but no more.
• to be afraid and to avoid what frightens you.
• to decide for yourself whether, when, and where to confront your fear.
• to learn by experimenting, that is, to make mistakes.

For the Preservation of Personal BOUNDARIES, You Have the Right . . .

• to be touched only with your permission, and only in ways that are comfortable.
• to choose to speak or remain silent, about any topic or at any moment.
• to choose to accept or decline feedback, suggestions, or interpretations.
• to ask for help in healing, without having to accept help with work, play, or love.
• to challenge any crossing of your boundaries.
• to take appropriate action to end any trespass that does not cease when challenged.

In the Sphere of Personal COMMUNICATION, You Have the Right . . .

• to ask for explanation of communications you do not understand.
• to express a contrary view when you do understand and you disagree.
• to acknowledge your feelings, without having to justify them as assertions of fact or actions affecting others.
• to ask for changes when your needs are not being met.
• to speak of your experience, with respect for your doubts and uncertainties.
• to resolve doubt without deferring to the views or wishes of anyone.

Specific to the DOMAIN of Psychotherapy, You Have the Right . . .

• to hire a therapist or counselor as coach, not boss, of your recovery.
• to receive expert and faithful assistance in healing from your therapist.
• to be assured that your therapist will refuse to engage in any other relationship with you -- business, social, or sexual -- for life.
• to be secure against revelation of anything you have disclosed to your therapist, unless a court of law commands it.
• to have your therapist's undivided loyalty in relation to any and all perpetrators, abusers, or oppressors.
• to receive informative answers to questions about your condition, your hopes for recovery, the goals and methods of treatment, the therapist's qualifications.
• to have a strong interest by your therapist in your safety, with a readiness to use all legal means to neutralize an imminent threat to your life or someone else's.
• to have your therapist's commitment to you not depend on your "good behavior," unless criminal activity or ongoing threats to safety are involved.
• to know reliably the times of sessions and of your therapist's availability, including, if you so desire, a commitment to work together for a set term.
• to telephone your therapist between regular scheduled sessions, in urgent need, and have the call returned within a reasonable time.
• to be taught skills that lessen risk of retraumatization:
  a) containment (reliable temporal/spatial boundaries for recovery work);
  b) systematic relaxation;
  c) control of attention and imagery (through trance or other techniques).
• to reasonable physical comfort during sessions.

Pandora's Aquarium - www.pandys.org: An online support group, message board, and chat room for rape and sexual abuse survivors.

[I_WMD]

Morn ..... You and I have [ I have ] >>.... This thing about >> Jump out there and never flinch .
to manage your life according to your own values and judgment.
I must agree .

• to have faith in your powers of self restoration -- and to seek allies who share it.
• to trust allies in healing as much as any adult can trust another, but no more.

Two points here though ;.......I be at a place where ,, one so being a of faith peep ,, says things that [ if seen from the inside ] would never pass mustard to the whole .
But in the same breath ? >>.. IMO >> * pretends * ,, so as to fit a common mold .

• to ask for explanation of communications you do not understand.
• to express a contrary view when you do understand and you disagree.
• to acknowledge your feelings, without having to justify them as assertions of fact or actions affecting others.

But those three ??? seem to contradict >>... to manage your life according to your own values and judgment.

Or .... Maybe I be confused ? >> Morn ?? Where did this * Bill of Rights , For trauma survivors * ,, originate from ?

WMD.

[SeptemberMorn]

Corky, I found it on a trauma site. Decided to post it because so many of us here suffer from traumatic experiences.

IMO, those three statements don't contradict.

You have the right to ask for an explanation of something you don't understand. You just exercised that right with me.

When you DO understand, you have the right to disagree with a statement made by someone else.

You have a right to your feelings, whatever they are, and you have a right to say what your feelings are. You do NOT have to give reasons for them or try to explain why you have them. The way I understand the last part, is you don't have to take action against someone else to prove thatyou feel what you feel.

Corky, while I was in therapy I learned a couple of things about feelings. 1) Feelings aren't good or bad. They just are. It's what you do with those feelings that matters; like hitting someone because you're mad. That's not right.

2) Feelings are not facts. Just because you feel a certain way about something doesn't make it true. You need to stop and think about it and then decide if you need to do something about that feeling. You have a right to your feelings and you can talk about them, just don't act out on them, act ON them; two different things.

Is that any clearer? I hope so.

[I_WMD]

Thanks Morn ,, ,, I hear ya .

I had an experience IRL . ,,, Yesterday , and It just blew me away .
The feelings neither * Good or Bad * ,, a family member challenged the dieing wishes of another Family member .... F.M. #1 ,,, is a church going gives all extra time to >> as does his wife .

F.M. #2 ,, is his sister .

Never thought he would feel the * Right * to cross a [ wish ] boundary ,, to the point of saying F.M #2 ,,, Had No Choice . [ as to their last wishes ].

What a F O O L . [ but he has shown poor judgment IMO ,, before , with words that find there way out of his mouth .]

Sooooooooooooooo ,,, Because this was seemingly the way other blood kin may / could be feeling ? ,,, F.M #2 and I had to do legal paperwork today ,, and put things in order ,,, LOL By legalese . Seemed un-needed .[ you would think ].
But the crux of your posting >> as my mind was in * defensive mode * >>>,,, I took as a contradiction as in * If the shoe fits ? wear it * >>..even if ya not like the color , and somebody else is dressing you .

T/C Friend .



Corky.

[SeptemberMorn]

I hope my explanation helped you, Corky, and that things smooth out for you with these family members.