[kittykins9]

Hi everybody,
Know I'm fairly new here, but have been posting. Really could use some support. I wrote the other day about how much I miss my therapist- forced unplanned termination because he needed to take over as my son's therapist. We worked together for 10 years, and I have a new T. She's fine, but I miss my old T terribly, and I have just been through an awful time trying to get my meds straight-- Suddenly I went into full bore bipolar crisis, except I'm swinging from panic to depression in minutes instead of days, weeks or hours.
I am on med adjustment, upped my tegretol, which is now making me so dizzy and nauseous i can't stand it!!!

I was doing okay for a few hours, but now I am shaking all over, missing my old T worse than ever, my head is buzzing from the extra meds, and I don't feel any better. In fact it was is if someone said, "Aw, you got a broken toe-- here let me help you by breaking your arm too!"

I am fighting desire to SI, which has been so long ago, I don't even remember last time. Have contacted my T-- have contacted my pdoc, but I feel so incredibly alone right now. Just such a mess. Please anybody, say a kind word to me-- I need to know this will pass.

Best,
Kittykins

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by kittykins9

Hi everybody,
Know I'm fairly new here, but have been posting. Really could use some support. I wrote the other day about how much I miss my therapist- forced unplanned termination because he needed to take over as my son's therapist. We worked together for 10 years, and I have a new T. She's fine, but I miss my old T terribly, and I have just been through an awful time trying to get my meds straight-- Suddenly I went into full bore bipolar crisis, except I'm swinging from panic to depression in minutes instead of days, weeks or hours.
I am on med adjustment, upped my tegretol, which is now making me so dizzy and nauseous i can't stand it!!!

I was doing okay for a few hours, but now I am shaking all over, missing my old T worse than ever, my head is buzzing from the extra meds, and I don't feel any better. In fact it was is if someone said, "Aw, you got a broken toe-- here let me help you by breaking your arm too!"

I am fighting desire to SI, which has been so long ago, I don't even remember last time. Have contacted my T-- have contacted my pdoc, but I feel so incredibly alone right now. Just such a mess. Please anybody, say a kind word to me-- I need to know this will pass.

Best,
Kittykins

((((((((((((((((((KITTYKINS)))))))))))))))))))))))0

Aww that sucks. I think your experiencing what they call "Rapid Cycling" Bipolar.

It DOES pass, but you need to contact your T and Pdoc and whomever as many times as you need to in order to be safe.

I think the medication was probably too high too much too fast. Have you told your Pdoc about this?

[kittykins9]

Thanks Simcha,
Did call the pdoc this morning, and he still hasn't returned my call. Only went up 200-- and I used to be on this dose, so it's really odd and scary.
Have been in contact with my T though, and trying to stay safe.
Thank you soooo much for writing to me though. I just need to know I'm not alone right now.

Kitty

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by kittykins9

Thanks Simcha,
Did call the pdoc this morning, and he still hasn't returned my call. Only went up 200-- and I used to be on this dose, so it's really odd and scary.
Have been in contact with my T though, and trying to stay safe.
Thank you soooo much for writing to me though. I just need to know I'm not alone right now.

Kitty

That's actually a lot. I had ex-gf on Tegretol. It must be tapered. Your Pdoc probably thought it wouldn't have bad effects since you were on it before...Tegretol is potent.

Are you taking anything else?

I think keep calling your Pdoc, and I wouldn't take anymore of the extra Tegretol until you speak to him. Tell the voicemail or secretary that it's important that he return your call.

[kittykins9]

I know it does seem like a lot, but I've been on tegretol for years= first at 800mgs, and then down to 600-- so this is just where I was. Plus they did blood levels and my levels were subtherapeutic. I guess if you're on it for quite a while, your liver starts to chew it up faster-- liver's okay, but I wasn't getting enough to control my symptoms, which sent me spiraling into depression and then bp stuff about a month ago. Just not this bad.
Also on luvox and synthroid.

Pdoc is an idiot, and new to me, but I think he's got this right-- just flipping out I guess. I just don't remember it being so hard to be on this much of the med before-- cause I took 800 mg for like 4 years, and tapered back to 600 about a year ago.

It wouldn't seem that little bit would be so activating. I know I should call T again and let her know things are worse. It's just every time I pick the phone to call her, I wish she was my old T, who saw me through all the craziness crisis for years. Now here I am going through it again, and I just wish I could call old T and scream help me!

KKat

((((((((((((((((((kittykins))))))))))))))))))))

I don't have experience with meds, but what you are going through sounds very scary! I am so sorry

It must be so hard to not be able to call old T for help...for me, that would be the hardest part, and would probably send me spiraling and make everything feel even worse.

Since you can't call old T, what CAN you do?? You said you called T - did you talk to her?? Can you leave an emergency message for pdoc? Do you have a friend who could come and sit and have tea or something while you try to calm down and feel more normal??

Getting around other people usually helps me get out of that scary spot. If you can't do that, keep posting here.

Hang in there

[bluenarciss]

Maybe you should do exactly that: call your old T and go back into therapy with him/her again, and send your son to another T instead.
It seems as if nobody of the others reacts timely enough when you are in need of immediate help and treatment. This is a completely unsatisfying situation, as it seems to me from what you reported.
You need a doctor that looks after you - the sooner the better!

That's what I think about it. Everything seems to shout: change this. Maybe it is best to obey to this. I don't know how long you will endure this actual state you're in. Maybe not long. So you should look for safety now. Contact a doc that is able and willing to help - immediately!

bluenarciss

[coconut64]

((((((((((((((((((KITTYKINS)))))))))))))))))))))))

I don't have experience with meds either but if you're having such a strong reaction, you need to call pdoc and ask to be seen immideatly. You need to take of you and make sure you're OK.

It was very selfless of you to let your son see your T but because you've had such a strong and lengthy relationship with him, there is bound to be a lot of feelings involved. It will take time to warm up to new T. Can new T offer an extra session or phone support to help get through this difficult time? Can you reach out to friends and family for support? Go places with them, do something to keep yourself busy and distracted from this rollercoaster of feelings.

You also have us.

[kittykins9]

Thanks you guys so much for all your thoughts and advice.
Pdoc finally called, and said dizziness should pass in about two to three days-- drink loads of water, take some clonazepam to help with the ultra rapid cycling.

Just did that-- not sure if it will help. Caught my T too (new one). It would be great if I could switch back to the old one, but it is not an option. I wish to God it were, but that decision was made consciously in consideration of a lot of factors, and it was still in many ways the right one. He wouldn't take me back, which makes me feel like a lost child. Believe me I have already begged.

Kkat.

[MissCharlotte]

((Kittykins))

I am sorry you are hurting so much right now. I am glad Pdoc called back and I really hope the meds even out for you. The rapid cycling is not fun at all. Can your new T maybe give you an extra session this week? It sure sounds like you could use it.

Take care.