partial hospitalization recap

I finished the 3 week Partial Hospitalization program on Friday.

In all, it was a great experience.

People join at any point in time, so there might be someone new every day, and none might be on the calendar to finish their 15 days at the same time. At the end of someone's time, we all say something to them about what we notice about them and progress, suggestions, affirmations, etc. When I ended, there were only 2 people who'd been in the program for 6 days or longer, i.e., I wasn't well-known amongst the 6 who'd joined that week. Kind of awkward saying good bye like that. Weird being so much of the "elder" at that point.

Someone I knew was in the program when I joined with about 1 week in. We knew each other from h.s. though a year part. Traveled in some of the same general circles, have a current friend in common, and always got along really well, so it was awkward but also good. We asked to be in different process groups b/c of the awkwardness. We’ll keep in touch--have already.

I didn't care much for the DBT stuff. Went thru a course of it in 2002. We whipped thru it very quickly in PA--too quickly; superficially. I raised a lot of issues for further discussion with the DBT and other educational material—not appreciated by the staff.

The process group--95 minutes was the best. I found it hard to talk at first--finding topics. I did a kind of fake it-till you make it approach, forcing myself to talk which eventually helped me get to addressing feelings. I'm way analytical and intellectual--too much according to them and everyone who knows me. So using others as a role model helped and led me to some good insights. People thought I made great progress on that. Staff was surprised at how much more connected I became with the program as time went on.

Got along pretty well with everyone. Was fairly popular with those just ahead and behind me. Sad to see some of them go. A small group of us went out Fri. night. Made some good friends. Most in the program were women. 2 men and 7 women when I left.

Will keep in touch with the guy I knew previously and someone else. A woman who'd been in the group for 4 days. We clicked right away when she spoke up at her first meeting about an issues/problem with the DBT stuff--exactly on what I was thinking. I followed her lead and commented further. We have some similarities. We were sitting next to each other at the last part of Fri.'s session having a great conversation. I was sitting there thinking about how to stay in touch--ask for her number or offer mine? As I was thinking, she handed me her info on a slip of paper. We'll be in touch. She commented at her first day about wanting to get to know experiencing similar things as her. Me, too. Haven't called her yet.

ONE GREAT THING I EXPEREINCED: I found out that I'm not the only one who lives such a disorganized lifestyle. Other people don't read mail, do laundry, clean-up, etc.--things that I thought only people who are very low functioning do. Not. Amazing to hear the soccer mom talk about still not emptying 2 laundry baskets two months after washing the stuff. For the 3rd time in my life I've experienced being normal in a major way of my living--normal to a small subset of people in general, but normal nonetheless. We'd sit and ask “How many months has it been since you opened your mail?"

Thanks for the update, Imapatient.....
I'm glad it was a positive experience for you.

It feels SO GOOD to find out that we're not alone, not the "totally weird, out there, abnormal" people we thought we were. I experienced that same feeling when I went to AA. Like a huge sigh of relief- "I'm not the only one"!

I'm glad it was such a good experience for you...and that you even came out with new friends.

Thanks for sharing with us

this is so awesome to hear - i'm so glad for you, impy. i think we are similar in that we have very analytical minds. i your posts because you have such rational answers and insights. but i totally understand why it just doesn't work that way when it comes to ourselves .

one question: were you able to find a new T or pdoc to follow up with? i remember that being one of your goals?

Thanks Deli et al.

I got a few names for T's. I'm not interested in the first two names on the list, but I'll look into #3. For now I'm using my NYC T b/c I'm still heavy in crisis and we still need to work through my pressing issues right now (incl. getting closure about my old T who terminated). It would be so much easier having a local T who could give names of T's who might be a good fit.

I told my pdoc I'm seeking someone new. Unfortunately the pdoc in PH was sick for my last day when we were going to talk about pdocs he'd recommend I'm going to write him to get him to say what he woulda said to me during our last meeting about referrals, etc.