[deliquesce]

oh god.

so pdoc has been building up to referring me to a new T. 2-3 weeks ago he mentioned that he had been thinking of getting someone new on board, and told me a bit about the person he had in mind. last week he said he'd bumped into the new T in the tea room and had a chat about me and if the new-T would take me on. today he told me he'd write up the referral for next time, and be very vague about my trust issues and childhood stuff. i must've made an ick face (i dont want anyone to know about my trust/childhood issues!!) but i was too embarrassed to tell pdoc i didn't want new-T to know about it just yet, so i stayed quiet. pdoc must've interpreted my silence as being wary of what was going into the referral letter, so he decided to dictate it there, so i could listen in and know that he wasn't saying anything sinister about me. which was kind, i think.

anyway, he said he'd get one of the secretaries to type it up before next week and he'd give me new T's mobile then so i could arrange a first appointment. but jesus, i'm already dreading the first appt. i don't wanna go! and i'm especially queasy because now the new-T knows about the childhood stuff and trust stuff and so i'm gonna be even more on guard. i don't wanna tell him anything, in case he makes me feel crap about it. i hate Ts.

the end.

((((((((((deli)))))))))))

you don't have to go see this new t if you aren't ready but maybe one time might be okay. take care girl.

[deliquesce]

Originally Posted by reflection

((((((((((deli)))))))))))

you don't have to go see this new t if you aren't ready but maybe one time might be okay. take care girl.

thanks, reflection .

i might give him a call when i get the referral and maybe see if he sounds nice or not.

i was panicking because i tried to search for him under the psych organisation, and he didnt appear, but then i found him under my state's registration board so i feel more secure now.

(((((((((((((((((((deli)))))))))))))))))

It sounds like your pdoc is really looking out for you and being careful about who he chooses. Maybe you can tell yourself you'll go for one appointment to see how it feels?? You don't have to agree to see this T if you end up not liking him, but you'll never know for sure unless you give it a try.

[KUREHA]

Yeah maybe you could go at least once and see how it goes.
It might go really well and that would be pretty cool to see someone else as well

Take Care

[lifelesstraveled]

((deli)))

I agree with EM. Maybe you can just go see the T sort of like a "test drive" and see if this T is someone you would like to work with? You don't have to make a comittment. If you dont like the new T, maybe you can work with your pdoc to find another?

Take care. Keep us posted

[imapatient]

Deli, tt's great to hear you getting progress on this issue after your last T.

Anymore news?

[deliquesce]

thanks for your support and encouragement, guys. i will probably go for the first session and see. but the first session is always the hardest!! i wish they would leave the digging in to history until later.

impy - no updates yet; next pdoc appt is on monday so i'll only get the referral then.

these are the (stupid) things i am hung up about, atm:
- he is south african. i know this is the most ridiculous thing to be wary about, but my ex was south african too and so i'm not sure now. idiot deli. i keep telling myself that some of my bloody best friends are south african (and by god i love their accents) but still i am really afraid of this T already. it's the most ridiculous thing to be hung about, and i'm ashamed .
- other issue: i don't know if he is a Dr? the psych registry board only lists his name, not his title. so now i'm worried about how to call him when i first ring up. i know i could ask pdoc, but i don't want pdoc to know that i get worried about insignificant things like this.

[imapatient]

Originally Posted by deliquesce

thanks for your support and encouragement, guys. i will probably go for the first session and see. but the first session is always the hardest!! i wish they would leave the digging in to history until later.

You have control over what goes on. I've learned difficult lessons lately from meeting new T's who took things in directions I wasn't intending, expecting, and didn't want at a 1st meeting.

It's your therapy; they're just doing a job.

When you go to a car dealer you shouldn't let them run the show--or else you'll end up with the most expensive car on the lot.

Go to get YOUR questions answered. Their questions are secondary to yours. Your story is primary. They want to get an idea of who you are, what you need, and whether they can help, but it's more important for you to figure out if they will good for you to work with, not the other way around. Go in set with your needs in mind; don't let them control. It's mutual, but you're more in the driver's seat than they are.

It's not strange to want to know about someone's background. I'd never go see a T without knowing where they come from. We use the label "T" loosely here when it can mean very diff things. PhD clinical psychologist, PsyD, MA psychologist, social workers, etc. Even unlicensed. They can differ in their emphases and types of work. Ask your pdoc what he can tell you about their background: Education, specialties, types of people they work with, treatments they use/emphasize, and why he's recommending that specific person--he must have his reasons and you should know them. If you're seeing pdoc before T, get that answered, if you're seeing T before pdoc (or can see him), get some info from pdoc over the phone.