Nightmares since starting therapy

I used to have nightmares all the time when I was little, but over the years as I have pushed the abuse to the back of my mind and the nightmares had ceased. I would very rarely have one as I got older.

When I started with my first T, I started to have a lot of horrible nightmares again. I would wake up but for the most part would talk myself into the fact that I am in my room and safe. When I ceased from talking about the abuse with my old T (because it was getting to be too much), the nightmares ceased as well.

I am now seeing a new T and am starting to open up with her about the abuse and again, the nightmares are starting. I had one last night and it took me almost and hour to settle myself after. This makes me not want to talk about the abuse, every time I do it, I feel like I am doing something horrible, and its as if my mind thinks the same.

I really upsets me that as I talk about the abuse I feel myself getting worse, I know its to be expected some, but I can't afford to be thrown into a crisis phase. I am in my last year of nursing school and I don't want to ruin that.

Did anyone else notice this happen to them as well? Does it get better? Do the nightmares start to cease the more you talk through things?

Hangingon

hangingon, u are doing a very brave, good thing for yourself working on the abuse in therapy. i know it is very difficult, i've been there. why not discuss this with your t and see what he/she suggests you all do about the nightmares after talking in therapy? i hope you two can find a workable solution. your t needs to know this so he can help you with this painful but necessary process so you can heal. let us know how it goes, k? i care and you do matter to us!

((((((((((((((((hangingon)))))))))))))))))))

My PTSD symptoms definitely got a lot worse when we started dealing with trauma stuff in therapy. I didn't have nightmares, but I had flashbacks (lots) and panic attacks.

Yes, it has gotten SO MUCH BETTER. Everyone's therapy is different, but for me, I had to deal with the trauma stuff in little bits and pieces....talk about it some, back off some, talk about it some, back off some. So, we were really only talking about the super hard trauma stuff every few sessions (if that). Finally we worked up to a few VERY INTENSE SESSIONS (this was nearly a year into therapy) where I finally not only talked about the trauma, but really FELT the feelings that were attached to it. I basically went back there with T. That seemed to be a turning point, and the flashbacks (about this trauma) really don't happen anymore. It took time and work, but it was truly, honestly worth it to be able to finally be free.

Now we are working on new stuff - childhood stuff - and it is harder, but also easier, because I have experienced the light at the end of the tunnel with the other stuff, and I hope I can get there with this stuff too....

You are so brave to be talking about these scary things in therapy. Do what you can. If you can't do it every session, don't. It's not a race to the finish line....just do what you can.

I also started taking a small dose of klonopin last October, and that helped A LOT with the panic attacks. I think I've only had one since I started taking it...and lowering the panic level enabled me to really work through things in therapy without totally losing my grounding in my everyday life.

(((((((((((((((((((hangingon)))))))))))))))))))))) I hope you and T can talk about ways to make your time outside of session easier, and your sleep more peaceful.

Many to you!

(((hangingon)))

This happens to me too when therapy gets really intense. One thing my T told me that helped a lot is before you go to bed, imagine yourself as strong and able to fight against any abuse against you. She says it helps rewire your brain and can effect your outcomes of your dreams. I am not totally sure, but when I was having bad nightmares and flashbacks, it did help some. Take care of yourself.

Yeah, I have complex PTSD disorder as well. Maybe that has something to do with it. I just hate that everytime I start talking, things get worse, its almost like my mind is saying don't go there, don't let that out.

Thanks for all your thoughts and for sharing some of your experiences. I will try to talk to my T about the nightmares.

hangingon

When I started CBT earlier this year for depression and anxiety, I started having night terrors. These are basically panic attacks you get in your sleep, which are pretty awful because you can't do much to control them. I would wake up drenched in sweat and feel out of sorts the whole day. It was awful.

I talked about this with my psych and she said that it was a natural reaction, and a good sign that I was getting the right feelings out during our sessions. It was cold comfort at the time, though I could understand the value of making progress. Anyway, my psych recommended that I make time during the day to "sit" with these feelings and let myself feel bad. That way I would adjust to them a bit faster, and the nightmares would go away.

I had another night terror the other day, but I think that was a consequence of having alcohol (it surprised me, because I'm feeling a bit better, but just one beer knocked me back into a depressed state). Other than that, I've more or less passed that phase.

I'm not saying it will be easy, but I think you can work through the same issues if you talk to your T and explain the situation. And remember that even when things are going well, therapy still puts a lot of stress on your system...nightmares and other similar side effects are perfectly normal, if a bit of a hassle.

Digdug

Thats what happened to me, I woke up sweating, heart racing, it took me almost and hour for the jitters to go away before I was finally able to fall back to sleep.
I woke up the next morning all tensed up, as if I slept totally tense all night.

I have not talked with my T about this yet, but will try to when I see her this week.

Hangingon

Hangingon,

Last year I started having a lot of nightmares. I think it was definately from thinking and all the digging I was doing in and out of therapy. In my case it was body sensations, waking up it a high anxiety state with skin crawling, hair raised, spine tingling, stomach cramping. It was really stressful, to the point where I had to actually get up out of bed for a while to settle myself. I didn't really have memories just physical sensations. The longest span I've had of this was a week, then stopped. I think for me my brain repeatedly runs through stuff at night. I've had the same thing happen a few times after that but it seems to pass a lot quicker.

A couple of months after that I told my T about it...but she really didn't have any suggestions for avoiding these episodes. Sorry, I just dealt with them until they some how just stopped.

That sounds a lot like my experience. I'm very sorry you have to go through that...I know how tough it is.

Do you remember if you were dreaming at the time? Night terrors techincally are supposed to happen in a non-dream state. I get very vivid dreams, so I remember getting some imagery during these episodes, but nothing that was "scary" in any particular way (or even comprehensible, really).

If you were dreaming you might have plain old-fashioned nightmares, otherwise it is probably night terrors. No real difference in terms of how bad it makes you feel when it comes right down to it, but I wanted to ask you questions that might help you out when it comes to talking to your T

Good luck, and remember, this time will pass...you just have to be brave and hope your T can help you out with some coping strategies.

Digdug

Sometimes I wake up sweating and tense in the middle of the night for no reason, it's not a dream that awakens me in those times, but the sweating and unpleasant tensing of my body. This happens less often than the nightmares.

I do awaken a lot to really bad nightmares. Sometimes its abuse happening and other times, someone is trying to kill me, things like that. I don't think I have had a good dream in years.

I can go months without a single dream (I know in reality we dream every night, but I don't remember any in these times) Yet, as soon as I start talking about the abuse, the nightmares start.

When I have nightmares, they are very vivid as well. My last T had me write them in my journal at night when I was awoken by them. She said I had such detail in them and they were ususally very long. Sometimes over 3 pages. That su*ks when your in them. The good news is just before something really bad happens I always seem to awaken.

Chaotic,
It's good to know that the nightmares adventually cease for the most part. I believe mine are from the deep digging as well. With this past nightmare I had to get up and journal, there was no way I could just lay back down and go back to sleep like I do sometimes with self talk. Every little noise I heard at that point freaked me out. I could not believe how on edge I was.

It's good to know that its normal to have these when opening up. I had no idea what was causing them at first.

hangingon

(((((((((hanginon))))))))))

Not much else to add except for that I have nightmares too.

You are not alone

Sounds like two separate but related issues...something a T could help you sort out. I'd say the non-dream issues are probably night terrors, but of course I can't say for sure...it sounds like my symptoms, anyway.

It's awful not being able to get good sleep, and it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. My sleep really is up and down...for some strange reason, when I was at my most depressed, my sleep was quite good. Of course I was on a lot of meds at the time. Now that I'm doing CBT and am taking fewer meds, my sleep isn't as good, but I feel like I'm building a stronger foundation for betterness. Don't mean to go on about myself, but I thought it might help to share my situation.

hangingon, when I was doing trauma work, I had flashbacks, recovered repressed memories, nightmares, and had a few small panic attacks and one big one. (I had never had anything like that big one before and thought I was having a heart attack and dying so we called 911 and the paramedics came.) Doing this sort of work in therapy is very, very hard. I understand the issue with nursing school. Will you be done in June? Could you postpone working on abuse in therapy until after you graduate?

Searching

Digdug,
Yeah, not sleeping well and having to be up at 4:15 am for clinicals can be exhausting. I also have depression but am not talking any medications as I was worried about the side effects and didn't want any other issues to deal with while in school. I started taking tylenol pm on the nights I have to go to bed really early for clinicals. That has helped some but I don't want to make a habit of having to do that to sleep. I want to be able to fall asleep like I use to with no issues.
Building a stonger foundation sounds very appropriate. I certainly hope the nightmares fade in time.

Sunrise,
When I was in my early teen years, I use to have agoraphobia, and would have bad panic attacks if I left the house. I could hang out in my yard with my siblings because that was familiar but could not go to a friends house, store, ect without wanting to come right back home.
It lasted about 2-3 years, I slowly exposed myself to these events, scary as they were, till I built confidence up and was able to go out no problem.

My parents never took me to a doctor about it so I was not given meds to help cope, nor was I ever able to talk about it. They did however allow me to be homeschooled that helped. They thought I was just being a hypochondriac, they had no idea what was going on in my head.

When I first started therapy, I was at school and I felt a panic attack coming on, I kept telling myself, I can't do this, there is no way I can go back to being like that. It was horrible. Anyways, I have been ok so far.
I don't finish the nursing program till early December of this year. I imagine my T would not be opposed to working on lighter things, I guess I will see how things go, maybe a little here and there so that I feel in control. I think thats the biggest thing I need, control.

Thanks for all of your advice

Hangingon

yep I had lots of nightmares initially, they have gotten better with time and tehrapy and working through things - I guess I just want you to know that they do get better - when I get into heavy things they come back and I write them down and discuss them with T - I hope you can do the same - take care P7

I rarely remember actually dreaming. I usually wake up with just sensations and anxiety symptoms. When it was really bad during the week I mentions, I would practically jump out of bed when my H just shifted positions or made contact with me.

This was definately related to stuff I was processing in therapy and they did go away. I hope your get some rest soon.

Thanks all...

I sent my T an email yesterday telling her about the dreams and how I feel like things are only going to get worse with talking about the abuse.

She wrote back saying perhaps you and I can discuss what "worse" means to you, and work on that. Then she said something to the effect of, do you think you could consider the nightmares being a symtpom rather than a reality...she wants to talk more about this with me in session tonight.

So I will see how that goes......ugh...every time I tell her something I feel more nervous about going to session.

Hangingon

I like the symptom not a reality thing - take care

I talked a little with her about the nightmares tonight, and came up with the idea of perhaps writing the dream down and putting in a safe box or burning it.
She suggested some other ideas, like getting up out of bed and turning the light on, sometimes changing body temperature, such as getting out from under the covers can change the body sensations some, or even getting up to eat a light snack before laying back down. Another idea was to pick a favorite smell, a safe smell (which I do have one) and have it available to smell when waking from a nightmare to know that I am safe. Some good ideas, I will see which one works best for me personally.

Hangingon

the thing about being too hot - I read somewhere along time ago that being overheated at night gives you nightmares - I know that often when I have a nightmare I am hot - just a thought - I turn the lights on and somtimes watch some tv before I go back to bed - glad you discussed it with your t

Hangingon, Did she mention anything about maybe alterning how your therapy session go at all? I was not so up front with my T when I was having these problems. I told her about them a few months later. To which of course she politely said that she wished I had told her about it when it was happening. Now that my T knows a bit more about how I respond to certain things she seems more caution. For example... I have a lot of trouble saying certain words. For a few sessions, I think my T's approach to this was to say them herself. Then she realized that although I didn't outwardly respond to these words during the session, my mind latched on to them later. Sometimes hearing her use certain words.... triggers me worse than using them myself. She is a bit more selective in how she pushs things with me now.

All I am saying is...I don't think the intent of therapy is to push you to the point of having nightmares. I think this happens and is part of the process. But I think therapy is like exercise... there is a point of diminished return. A little bit of overload is needed to get stronger, but too much leads to injury.