[idontknow13]

This week will be my third week going to see my therapist and I have been asking myself questions about it. I have been reading some of the posts here and most of you seem to have a problem with talking about your issues with your T. about opening up whereas I have no problem opening up, actually the other way around, cant shut up but my question is how a therapist can help me.
I went a while back and all they said was that I was ok, that I did the right things but my feeling is that if I am doing the right things, why for years now I have been in depression after depression and now suffer from high anxiety and total burnout, have so many problems dealing with others, etc...I want someone to show me how to change to make things better for me.
I dont know if this makes any sense to anyone out there, hopefully it does.

[deliquesce]

it does make sense . my problem in opening up has to do with trust - so learning how to trust people is one of the goals of my therapy.

it sounds like you need some concrete goals to work towards? do you think that would help? that way you would be "getting out" of therapy the things you need help with.

e.g., you mention high anxiety. what situations typically make you anxious? for me, it is uni assessments, and this is because of my high perfectionism. so my goals are: 1) work on perfectionism, 2) hopefully reduce anxiety because of this, 3) final goal of being able to do uni assessments without complete burn out because i've lathered myself up into a highly-strung out mess.

you also mention having problems dealing with others. so maybe a goal would be to make new friends, or learn to relate to people already in your circle in a better manner? it really depends on what's creating the problems for you. for some people it is because they are shy, or anxious about making a fool of themselves etc. other people have strong personalities that put people off side (e.g. in the work place), so that could be another reason.

if this sounds like too big a task - maybe you could ask your T to help you come up with a few goals, and timelines for when you would like to start seeing change.

e.g., for me - perfectionism is something i know i can't fix overnight. but i have an assignment due on wednesday. so my mini-goal is to get the assignment in at least (usually i don't hand my assignments in because i don't think they're "good enough"). hopefully this will help me learn that i can still pass uni even if things aren't perfect, and even if it doesn't tackle the perfectionism head on, at least it means i have one less assessment to worry about in the future.

i'm a big fan of goal directed therapy, because it helps me see the immediate value in what i'm doing, and also because it leads to achievements .

[Kiya]

Hmmm.. perhaps (and I don't know you) - don't feel you have to answer this or prove anything, just things to think about... perhaps you are not doing in life your true purpose or what you were meant to do ... or don't have enjoyment in life/job because.... you're not on your soul path? I don't usually suggest this to ppl, but this seems important to post for you for some reason. Anyway, if none of this rings true for you, just ignore it =)

[rainbow8]

Are you on meds for your anxiety and depression? Have they helped? Maybe you need to be on different medication if you are depressed year after year, and anxious too.

What kind of therapy are you in? Have you ever tried CBT: cognitive behavioral therapy? If you are just talking and talking in therapy, without doing anything to work on changing, I can see how it may not be what you need.

I would also suggest discussing your goals with your T. and coming up with a plan together.