[stdkd93]

I have started seeing a T for the first time 2 weeks ago. I was referred to her by my family doc because I went to him with prolonged depression and marital issues and was feeling very lost and alone. I know that it hasnt been very long but how do I know that she is the right T for me??? What exactly should I be getting out of seeing her??? I feel like most of the things she tells me is things I already know or hear from others. Im just confused as to whether she is helping me or not or if she is even the right fit for me or not.
Just to add I also just started Lexapro again(its only been a week on that also). I was on it over a year ago ago after the birth of my youngest child for post partum depression so Im just beginning the process of trying to heal myself after years of hurt and pain and sadness....

[ECHOES]

You are very early in your relationship with your T and you and T are getting to know one another.

Have you researched types of therapies and therapists? A site I liked is www.guidetopsychology.com. I chose the kind of therapy I wanted from researching and talking to someone about therapy. For example, I had been in Behavioral therapies a few times and I find Behavioral therapy mostly not helpful to me, so this time I chose psychodynamic psychotherapy with someone who is a psychoanalyst. This is the kind of self-exploration I want as my therapy.

I think asking your therapist this question, how do I know if you/the therapy you offer are right for me? Tell her she is telling you things you already know, and that you feel lost and alone. This open honesty is crucial to therapy but takes time to be able to do; feeling you can trust your therapist usually needs to come first and that can take a long time; for me, it took 9 months of weekly therapy.

What I get out of seeing T is a continued lessening of my anxiety symptoms, and just feeling better (my original goal: to feel better) as time goes on. I am learning about myself as my relationship with my therapist evolves.

Often we are in a hurry early in our therapy and it takes time to adjust to the pace and accept that this is a process that takes time because it is so important--you are so important!

[deliquesce]

i just started with a new T 2 weeks ago (have had 2 appts now). he said he typically asks new clients to try with him for 3 sessions at least before making up their minds. because the first session is mainly about the T finding out your history, so you get no sense of how they work.

[3velniai]

When I had to decide if I want to try to work with my T, I thought about several things: do I feel like I can tell her things? Does she listen or just pretends to listen? Do I like how she reacts to my strage thoughts and behaviour? Does she understand what I mean? After 3 appts I could say yes to all of these questions, I like her office and she allows communication by email, so I decided he's right T for me. The most important thing when choosing a T is how you feel about him/her. My previous T, I felt neutral about her, not bad, but not good either. After more than a half year it became obvious, that we aren't a fit. I felt very good about my new T since the first minute i saw her. She managed to mess up big time on the 4th appt, but I still like her. In my opionion if you feel just OK or neutral about this T after several appts, you might want to ty meet another T.

[Mouse_]

Originally Posted by stdkd93

I have started seeing a T for the first time 2 weeks ago. I was referred to her by my family doc because I went to him with prolonged depression and marital issues and was feeling very lost and alone. I know that it hasnt been very long but how do I know that she is the right T for me??? What exactly should I be getting out of seeing her??? I feel like most of the things she tells me is things I already know or hear from others. Im just confused as to whether she is helping me or not or if she is even the right fit for me or not.
Just to add I also just started Lexapro again(its only been a week on that also). I was on it over a year ago ago after the birth of my youngest child for post partum depression so Im just beginning the process of trying to heal myself after years of hurt and pain and sadness....

I think initially we get a good feeling about a person then with time we begin to see that we really are changing so know the work with them is working. Don't worry to much about qualifications and such, that doesn't indicate a good therapist always. I accused my T for the first few months of being useless and doing nothing to help me, she'd raise her eyes and say nothing. Now I know I just wasn't in a position to understand the work that needed doing.

I felt a connection with T at our first session. Not a deep connection or anything like that - but he felt like someone I could trust and work with. We had talked on the phone before my session a couple of times, and those phone calls also made me feel like he might be the "right" one.

We met for one session and he asked at the end of the session if I thought we could work together. I said I did. He said we'd meet for a month, and then revisit how it felt to see if we still felt like we could work together.

We've been working together twice a week for 18 months now. He really did end up being the right therapist for me.

Two sessions isn't a lot of time to know if you she is "the one". Maybe after a couple more sessions, you and she can discuss how it is going, and how you both are feeling about working together.

Good luck to you. Starting therapy is very brave.