[catatonicmania]

I had dinner with my dad the other day and he said something that hurt really bad. Well both me and my boyfriend are 'mentally ill' and so my dad said that he would be disappointed if we had kids because of the risk of passing something on to them. I thought about going off my meds just so I could perhaps survive to claim i'm not ill. rvrn though that is really messed up thinking... And we aren't even at the time in our lives to have children but still. I can't help but think my dad would be disappointed if I procreate. Don't get me wrong I love my dad with all my heart but he doesn't have any sense of tact.

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by catatonicmania

I had dinner with my dad the other day and he said something that hurt really bad. Well both me and my boyfriend are 'mentally ill' and so my dad said that he would be disappointed if we had kids because of the risk of passing something on to them. I thought about going off my meds just so I could perhaps survive to claim i'm not ill. rvrn though that is really messed up thinking... And we aren't even at the time in our lives to have children but still. I can't help but think my dad would be disappointed if I procreate. Don't get me wrong I love my dad with all my heart but he doesn't have any sense of tact.

Sorry to hear you are going through that. Let your dad know that most mentall illnesses can't be passed on. In my opinon it's role modled through the actions of the parents. For example if you panicing over everthig (like I do) your child will start to do the same thing.

[bearchic34]

ohhh yes that was a prettty insensitive thing to say. Just do your research when you decide to have a baby about yours and your BF's conditions and likelihood of passing it genetically. Be as educated as you can about it to try and put his worries at ease. Yes it's not the mental that always passes to the kids, it the actions they see from us that shape their way of dealing....

[NuckingFutz]

your right, he does not have any tact. I had a friend who turned right around and asked her father if her grand father was disappointed in him since she had a mental illness...her dad suddenly started to develop tact...you know, it was so amazing.

[AAAAA]

I'm sorry that your father doesn't have any tact. Perhaps I don't either. This thread touches a guilt I feel to my very soul. I have four children that I love more than anything but there have been times when I have asked myself if I would have had them knowing what I know now. Not just mental illness, although I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, but there are other genes that I've passed on too.

My father was the oldest living male in his family for as far back as we can trace and he died at the age of 54 of heart disease. I happened to fall in love with a man that also has severe heart disease in his family, his father had his first heart attack at 42 his mother died from it at 60. Nearly every female member of my family has had some form of female cancer. Breast cancer in my family is a death sentence even with modern medicine. And on hubby's side his maternal grandmother was one of the first women in our state to be diagnoised with this new disease breast cancer. She died in her early thirties leaving three children 12, 9, 6 behind.

I feel very guilty for placing these additional burdens on my kids. My youngest two sons already show signs of heart disease. When one of these issues come up I really feel guilty for not being fully informed when I made the decision to have kids.

[Amazonmom]

Your dad needed to keep his big mouth shut. I wonder why he felt the need to say that to you. I have Bipolar II and PTSD, does that mean my daughter is doomed to a life of hell...NO.

Diabetes, High blood pressure, cancer all run in my family. I guess that none of them should have had kids either....