have just one friend-get picked on more?

For most of my adult life I've usually had only one friend, it just seemed the right way to do it, show them they're special or something. Over time I have developed quite a dark view of friends, manipulative, abusive, competitive, because that's how these characters always eventually seem to become.

I was just reading a psychology book recommending that in relationships "strength comes from connection" predatory people try to isolate you from everyone else in order to be effective.

I was thinking maybe I've been getting all this nonsense from my friends because they think (probably unconciously) I am vulnerable because I'm alone. I don't recall much best-friend abuse when I've had lots of friends, maybe people usually (unconciously) avoid being abusive when they know you'll tell everyone else.

Any thoughts, similar/different experiences? Obviously there are other factors to good friendship like choosing carefully.

My friends (the ones I've chosen, anyway, not necessarily including some who may be "choosing" me) mostly seem like really great people. For the most part, I keep thinking I may be underestimating them because they have strengths and abilities that I don't even know about yet.

Once in a great while I'll see a friend do something that seems weird to me and suggests an upset in progress -- say, telling me I don't understand them, probably never will, and to stop trying. On those occasions, I've typically learned a lot by trying to imagine what might be going on for them, and how much anything like that ever goes on for me too.

If I ever have a day when a lot of people seem to be out to get me (or at least to get in my way), I may go on thinking for a while that that must be something about them. Eventually, though, I do usually get around to looking at what part of that might be coming from me.

-------------------------------------
All the world's mad save thee and me -- and sometimes I even wonder about thee.

Hi Artie,

I could have written your last post, lol. I am in the same boat. When I fell out with my best friend at the end of high school I didn't think it was worth getting too 'emotionally' attached to anyone else because it just didn't seem worth the trouble. But I have only one 'best friend' again now - and she is 'low maintainance'. We go out and phone occasionally, but nothing too demanding. She has her life and I have mine. It probably is my problem, but I feel I can't trust anyone except close family - which I guess is really sad. I am married and have a son - but basically I consider myself a loner. I did join a few craft classes etc and I have no trouble talking to people, but I just can't seem to develope many really close bonds. I would like to have more friends, but I can't overcome that invisible barrier. It's always something they say or do that says it's just not worth it. I don't know if that means something is wrong with me?
I don't know if my post will help you - but at least you know your not the only one

Lisa