[BamaSurvivor]

Ok, here's the deal:

I go to a relapse prevention rehab center two days each week for recovery meetings. One of the guys who go there is the 'teachers' assistant and does a lot of the talking at the groups. We've become REALLY close friends and laugh and email eachother a lot outside of group therapy. I've always heard that employees at a facility like that can't be with patients or can't even be friends with them outside of treatment. Is this true? Why?

Either way, there's a lot of things he does that makes me think he may like me. I'm diabetic and have no heater in my car. When it's cold and I drive to our meetings, my hands are usually always freezing and he gives me his gloves to wear to warm my hands up while his hands get cold. He calls me sweetie a lot (which I dunno if that means anything) and gives me hugs more than most of the people there. When I went into inpatient for cutting, one of the nurses was really mean and verbally abusive and he emailed me a few days later after I got out and said he had her fired (his dad owns the hospital). So many things he does, the way he smiles at me, the way he talks to me, his body language, etc, etc make me wonder... But then again I just don't know if he's being friendly. What do you think? How should I go about just asking him? I'm too shy to just come out and be blunt about it. I'd like a more subtle approach. I need to move on with my life outside of the ex boyfriend, and he'd be a great start. Thanks for the help!

[jmo531]

HHHHHMMMMM!!!
Interesting. Seem's like he may like you a little more then a friend to me. Although, I'm a little like you, I'm always afraid to confront a situation like like that for fear that I may be wrong. Give me a while to think about this one. I'm not sure what you should do.
Does he make you uncomfortable in anyway? Do you like him? What are your feelings?

i guess my opinion may not fall on the popular side... but im a fan of letting the man do the first move. I guess it depends on if you are tradition. Not to say that you can not show interest. I like to show interest, but leave the onus on them to decide. BUT... showing interest is great. Also... i also like inviting.. "a bunch of friends out" and letting them know. Not like asking for a date, but also a good way to see if you still like him. and the opposite. Have fun and stay safe

[BamaSurvivor]

Oh, I definately feel chemistry with him. He makes me feel extremely comfortable and that's strange for me, because I'm scared around most men, but not around him. I really enjoy our conversations and I just enjoy looking at him. lol When he speaks about his experiances and how he got past them, he speaks with such passion. It's so entriguing!

I think he may not say anything to me about it because from what I hear, at that hospital facility, a worker there can not express 'feelings' towards patients. He already does emotionally wise, but I don't think he'd actually come out and say it, you know?

is he a social worker or counselor? if he is, there's an ethical problem with him dating you while you're in outpatient treatment. a counselor dated my daughter and we got his license pulled in Oklahoma and Kansas and Texas. you see, your counselor has enough information about your modds and such that the powers that be think that it makes you very vulnerable..in case the therapist has an ulterior motive. how old are you? our daughter was underage.....pat

[jmo531]

I do think there may be some conflict here given his position. However, I'm a sucker for love in the most unlikliest places too. You never know. he could be the one. Sometimes we cant predict when love happens. This may be one of those instances. I think it would be wise to maybe hang out in a group setting (as someone posted above) This will give you a chance to get to know him outside of the hospital.
I'm not sure I was much help but I do hope things work out for the best.

Take care.

[mortimer]

I dunno, what's so bad about a friendship? Even if it went to more, so what? He's a friend, I don't think that's a bad thing. If he was like a therapist one on one with him type thing, then dating him would cross lines. But part of group you know, even if he is one of the leader people.

I don't know what to say. It could make his job be in danger, but you're not going around parading anything. Email, joking and stuff, whooooo! Doesn't sound bad. I guess I'm a sucker for love too...

If it goes to more then friendship, just to make sure, maybe grab a different group and won't have to bother with this at all... Good luck! He sounds so nice... ^___^

[BamaSurvivor]

I'm 18, he's 23... He doesn't have T liscence or anything, he just helps with whatever needs done at the mental hospital and helps with the recovery group because that's his way of giving back, he feels. He's definetely not my therapist, even I wouldn't try crossing the line then.

I told him I may have a date this weekend and he got really tense and just said, "Great!"... Seemed kinda jealous?