I have no clue who loves me or who I love???

both men claim they care for me...they both say that the other guy is treating me badly...

one knows all of my thoughts and loves spending time with me...but he is an alcoholic and won't quit...it hurts me when he gets drunk

the other treats me like a queen when i am with him worries about me and treats me how I would like to be treated...but he is so busy that I only see him once a week

I have no clue who i like being with more...in someways i feel abused my the alcoholic

when I'm with the guy who is busy...i feel the connection is not as strong but he knows how to treat me right and he makes sure that i have everything i need and babies me

to add to this....I have very few friends...i think I have a phobia of getting close with people....the alcoholic became my closest friends...which turned into love...I feel as though if I leave him...I won't have a friend to turn to...and he will leave me and won't be my friend if he finds out I will never be his gf...when i started hanging out with the alcoholic...all i wanted was friendship...he wanted more...

Both men claim that I should not be with the other guy...which ever one that is....

I feel that the alcoholic is using me...while I think the other guy maybe doesn't love me as deeply and does not recognise my worth

Also...to let everyone know....I'm not the type who dates two guys at a time....it just sort of happened...the alcoholic wouldn't leave me alone...i told him that I ahve a bf...and he insisted that I be with him...I tried just being friends...but things escalated from there....he understands that I am staying connected with my bf...and doens't have a problem with that...but he wants to know if I will be his gf after he comes back from mexico to live in canada???...I feel like i'm living two lives...I have no clue who I am

I want to make everyone happy...and I don't want to hurt people's feelings which is why I guess I stayed with both of them....I feel they both need me in some way...I felt sorry for the alcoholic and wanted him to not be lonely...i shoudn't have gone this far with him...i was content with my first bf....but the alcoholic insisted....he was getting into trouble...and I thought I could help...:S

to add to this...I have very few close friends...i think i have a phobia of being close with people...I became the mexican's friend but then he wanted more....all I wanted was friendship...I think this also ties into the fact that my mother had an alcoholic father....she had alcoholic issues...which have been passed on to me...and now I realise I am drawn to alcoholics because I feel safe and it's normal to mee...

Hi myoasis

The way I see it, you have several choices here. They are:

1. Choose Mr. Alcoholic and back away from Mr. Busy.

2. Choose Mr. Busy and back away from Mr. Alcoholic.

3. Continue on the course you are on now and listen to them both b-i-t-c-h, moan, and whine about how you need to choose between them.

4. Kick them both to the curb and walk away.

Anyway... you say in your post that you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but the way I see it, whether you choose option 1, 2, 3, or 4... it looks like one (or both) of these guys is not going to be a happy camper.

And furthermore... regarding your wish to not hurt anyone's feelings... have you considered YOUR own happiness and feelings at all, rather than just thinking about the feelings and happiness of these two??

Have you stopped to think... REALLY THINK... about what it is YOU want??

It doesn't appear to me that you have. Quite honestly, from the sounds of things, it seems like you are thinking only about them, at the expense of thinking about yourself and your own needs and wants.

Anywho... If I were in this situation, I would probably choose option #2, if I had some feelings for Mr. Busy or I thought that the relationship had the potential to become more serious.

On the other hand... if Mr. Busy is unwilling to free up his time and become more available.... or after some serious thought, I came to the conclusion that Mr. Busy is not what I am looking for... then I would probably choose Option #4 and look for some new friends and guys to date.

Good luck,

Peppermint Patty