[Gez]

Hi everyone,

I am a new member here and I've hit a problem with my relationship.

I am involved in a LD relationship with a wonderful man. However he is going through a divorce right now and has had to file for Banruptcy. Hes under a lot of stress and lately we've been fighting. Hes become very suspicious and has lots of jealousy issues which are only started to surface some months back. He does love me but he realises that hes hurting me with this and hes terribly insecure about it. No matter what I do or say, it seems to reassure him for awhile but then hes back to asking questions again. His wife had affairs so I can understand him having these issues.

I haven't been able to be there for him the last few days because I've been dealing with my own problems at home and we had a terrible firht a few days back. I feel its my fault because I didn't realise how much stress hes really been under. I tend to snap back and defend myself and I will admit I've had some crying fits on the phone and raised voices, (my raised voice, not his).

The last few days he hasn't wanted to talk to me. Hes feeling very depresed and is taking Neurontin. I feel the Neurontin is half of the problem because it makes him detached, and very unfeeling when he takes it intermittently. We discussed the Neurontin some months back and I told him to stop taking it but hes under so much pressure right now that hes been taking it intermittently.

Anyway, last night we talked briefly. He didnt't want to talk to me much and said he was busy. I asked him if we could talk for a few minutes. I was very apologetic and told him we wouldn,'t argue anymore and that I would suport him with anything he wanted. His conversation was very flat and nonchalent so I asked him if he still loved me and he said he supposed that he always will. He said he wanted to be alone and didnt want to talk to anyone. He said he cant focus on anything but his kids, bankruptcy and his divorce and I told him I would let him concentrate on that but I have tried to support him as much as I can.
I asked him if we were going to chat before he went to work and he said no and he didnt know when we were going to talk again. I asked him oif it was over and he said he wasn't sure. He said that life is a lie to him and hes just going to give up being happy and then lose his health and die. I told him I loved him and he said that I would stop loving him and we would both get hurt. He said that hes decided that he doesn't like women and that he doesn't understand them and that they hurt him. Then later he started asking me questions again (jealousy issues) and again I reassured him or tried to. I asked him when I'd be talking to him again and he said he wasn't sure.

This guy worships me but his fears are getting in the way and the stress we've both found ourselves under lately hasn't helped. I asked him if hes taking the Neurontin and he said yes and that hes going to continue to take it and that he doesnt care. I have no idea what to do. I think the world of him and reasured him that there wont be anymore pressure. My worst fear is that I think I'm losing him and I dont know how to handle the situation. What I'd like to do is give him space. Am I doing the right thing? I need some advice on NOT what to do to make things worse. I just want him to come back to me eventually so we can work this out. We really were happy before the bankruptcy thing. Thats put a tremendous strain on him I think but the Neurontin isn't helping and its preventing from feeling the love that he has for me.

I'm sorry this is long. I'm kind of non-functional today and I dont want to lose him.

Thanks for listening and any advice would be appreciated.

Gez