Younger men

This is a random question, really seeking no precise answer...Just curious to hear the various opinions out there.

Are there any women out there involved with a man years of their junior? If so, I'd sure like to hear of their story.

Thanks

Shangrala

I have dated both younger and older. I didn't have much luck with either one. The younger one was really immature, as usual, and the older one was stuck on sitting at home. I guess it would depend on the person. My boyfriend now is 9 months younger then me. We our on the same page in life. IMO with relationships you need to like being with each other as friends, and you need similar value systems.

Me too...i have done the older and younger thing....my ex husband was 6 years older than me.....i enjoyed how he always seemed to comfort me when i really needed it and his ability to take care of me when i had some of my worse BP moments. Currently i am with a man who is 5 years younger than me,he is full of affection and love and well lets just say very active in the bedroom
While my ex had very strong beliefs of providing and taking care of (financially) me and his kids,my current bf has very little worries about which bills if any,get taken care of.
Although i think i have a tendency to be drawn to younger men for the most part,in the end,for myself, its more about the person and not so much about the age.

My wife is more than 20 years younger than me. I am 46 and she is 25. She thinks I am an old man and I think she is a young girl. We both stay home and take care of our child. I sometimes think what it is like for her being 25. I've heard there were problems with older women and younger men. I don't know. thanks

Younger men are fun.......full of energy, sex drive, good looking, they are not jaded by life yet, have so much to offer!

I am not a Woman but....

I agree with "wanttoescape". It has more to do with the person and more so the experiences they have had more than the number, not to mention common goals and future dreams.

My ex was 20 years older than I was, she was a princess, lol, and it was the best relationship I have ever had. Mutually went our ways in the end, but still. Statistically speaking yes, younger men or younger people can be at different points in their lives (being immature) than say someone in their mid life or later. but at the same time the opposite is true. I always found I have never meshed well with women my own age, for the reasons of immaturity and lack of goals and such. But I am sure there is like minded women out there of my own age, just as sure as I am that I few of the older women I have dated were very immature :P

If its a question regarding yourself, I would just look past the number and more at the common ground. Is he stable? Does he have goals and is he actually following through to get them etc...

Hi there, I've always dated young men in the past and the man I love so dearly now is about 4 yrs younger than me. I'm 27 and he's 23 turning 24 in two months. We met through is work and he's an amazing man. I was always hestitant dating younger men again before I met him because I've had horrible experiences with younger men because of their maturity but after meeting my boyfriend I am so grateful that I met such a wonderful man whose supported me with everything I've done in my life.

This is all well and good, but don't rule out older men either. They have plenty to offer.... like

more mature
patient
more established
more knowledgeable about how to please a woman in every way, and remember Viagra is the great equalizer

And some women think older men can be good looking, energetic, and fun too!

I'm the first to agree with you on that one Horsey....
Older men are VERY much a preferance of mine, (always have been), precisely for the reasons you've specified.

Sometimes, though, fate has a way of delivering us what we expect the least, (a defined fork in our road)....it certainly has for me....and GAWD, am I grateful.
Athough, I will always and forever favor the "seasoned male with the well earned traits of his years".

Shangrala

Hi Shangrala,

Over the years I have had men 10 + years older than me ask me out for a date but I've always flatly turned them down.

Some of these older guys have been rather pushy about it, but I stand my ground and tell them they need to find someone their own age as they can't compete with a guy my age. They're just too damn old!

Anyway... IMHO...the thought of dating a man 10 + years older than myself is just, "Yuck, yuck, yuck!!"

I say "Yuck" because I have no desire to look at a saggy, flabby, wrinkled, tired, graying, body that is 10, 15, 20, 25 or 30 years older than my own!!!

IMHO, that would be as gross as dating a fat guy!

Furthermore, I also don't want to be in a relationship where I have to deal with someone's health issues.. which definitely would become a huge problem in marrying or having a LTR with a much older man!!

Finally... I just want to say that I disagree with what a previous poster said about Viagra!!

Viagra IS NOT a great equalizer when it comes to an older man vs. a younger man!!

Money however is a great equalizer, LMAO.

The size of one's bank account is the only size that matters, lol... especially if you're an old fart looking to catch a young chick.

Peppermint Patty

On behalf of older men everywhere, I say thank you for NOT wanting one! You really have been doing older men a favor by turning them down. It's obvious you have the maturity of a child and therefore do not appreciate loving someone for who he is instead of how old, ugly, fat, or undesirable he may look. Some people find love more important than everything else. It does makes great sense that you would feel that way about money. I'm surprised you're not a gold digger! I was just joking about Viagra, but until you have been with an older man your really shouldn't judge him in ways you know nothing about. P.S. There are plenty of young flabby guys out there just looking for older saggy chicks!

Hello Horsie,

I'd say I'm doing MYSELF the favor more than anything else, lmao.

Anyway it's funny but all of these older guys are still single, so I guess I am not the only younger chick out there who's turning them down left and right, LMAO.

I think these guys would have much better luck in finding someone if they would look at someone THEIR OWN AGE!

I say this because most women I know do not want a guy any more than 5 years older than themselves. Any older than that, and the guy is just too damn old -- a very stale leftover, lol.

Yes there are plenty of flabby men out there. Why is that? Too much beer and TV?

And no.. I don't date those types either. Another big YUCK!

Thin, athletic, or muscular with hair (e.g. no bald guys) and no more than 2 years older than me or 5 years younger than me is what I look for.

Hasta La Vista!

Peppermint Patty

Peppermint Patty are you really 43? I feel like you argue with these people like my teenage daughter argues with people. Seriously you really come off that way.

Whoa whoa here everyone. Lets not lose focus. We are all here to help one another out and if a opinion doesn't fit with our values then please lets not take it personal. Lets remember we're all here to support and help one another out by giving one another different perspective on life.

Everyone has their own preference when it comes to the qualities in our mate. Lets keep an open mind. I wish everyone the best of luck!

yeps....i would have to agree...i think things are getting a bit wild here in this topic.........

Patty,

While you may be here for entertainment and research reasons, most of us are here for help for serious problems and don't need someone belittling us as we try to heal. That is why I am here, to heal from my sexual abuse from my ten year OLDER sister when I was a child. I wonder why you are still dating at 43??? I would appreciate greatly if you keep your immature entertainment values off a web site forum designed to help people and not further hurt them!!!

OMG...guys, stop hurting each other!
There is no need to pin point and peak on age differences....people are free to choose what they want....
I personally not interested in much older guys, never dated them, and that's mostly because of energy level or attraction....I usually go for guys around my age that I can talk about 80s music or stuff that has happend in the same decade as I grow up....
I agree with Peppermint about some older guys that are always after younger chicks and that's kinda disgusting, because it's not love that they are going after, it's more sex or whatever....
Horsecab, I agree with you about love too....If there is love between two people, then age is not matter....but unfortunatly, I see lots of older guys trying to go out with me and that's disgusting really....sometimes, I feel they don't see their age....I don't have anything common with them and what they want from me....I can't even talk to them....
But still....there is no need to insault anybody for his age....actually, some older guys have better sex drive than younger ones....or they are more energetic than younger ones.....but still, I don't want to date very older than me....I want a guy who is around my age and we can do stuff together....
take care everybody and no fight please....we are here to just express our opinnions and help each other....any nobody should take anything personally!

with love
marjan

Bravo! Couldn't have said it better myself!!

Shangrala

Hi Marjan

Thanks for stepping in and defending my opinions. I feel exactly the same way as you do.

I've been approached by much older men since my early 20's and it's just plain gross. Ick, ick, ick!!

BTW... I also just want to mention that you and I are not the only ones who have experienced this. It seems to be a pretty widespread problem, unfortunately.

For example.... I have a friend who is 50 and is trying the online dating thing. She has received numerous responses from guys in their 60's, 70's, and even a few in their 80's (holy sheep!) even though her profile specifically states that she is only looking at guys no older than age 55!

She doesn't respond to any of these inquiries from the older guys, but just laughs at their emails and their dating profiles and puts them on "Ignore".

And I can't say I blame her, as I would do the exact same thing, lol.

So as I mentioned earlier.. it's just my opinion, but older men should quit thinking they have a chance with women much younger than themselves.

Such relationships very rarely work. The only time I have seen them work is if the older guy has a lot of money. Then it becomes a win-win situation with benefits to both parties in the relationship.

Peppermint Patty

Uhmmm....From what I could tell, she wasn't exactly defending your opinions. Sounded more to me like she was attempting to maintain some peace here.
Your opinions were very clear..as well as even more so offensive and hurtful.

There is a tactic called diplomacy...although it certainly was not applied much in your post.
Perhaps, try to not make your opinion so blatantly offensive to others and chances are other members won't feel a need TO play referee, (let alone for others to respond defensively)..Just a thought..

Shangrala

Shangrala,

The last time I checked, this was not a forum which required all of us to possess the same religious, social, political, cultural, moral, etc values.

It was my understanding that this is an online forum where people are allowed to express their opinions from all directions and where topics can be examined from all angles.

So with that being said... if my opinions are the complete opposite of another person's, it is not my problem nor is it my concern if they become upset or hurt because I happen to feel differently than they do!

Opinions are just that... opinions. All of us are entitled to express them.

Sugar coating different viewpoints is not required!!

Now... let's move on to discussing something else, shall we?

Peppermint Patty

Beauty is definately in the soul, (whether it be of the holder or of the beholder).

Just as water seeks its own level, so do the traits of one person attract that of another. (We ARE the company with whom we keep).
Age has little influence if there is a connection of two souls who are destine for eachother.

Imagine yourself as without sight, and you meet someone who delivers you the rewards of what joy there is to be found in a mate. It is a mutual unitement.
You KNOW, without doubt, that you are meant to be with this person. However, discover that this person has an appearance that is not "favored" among the sighted.
Is one then so easily persuaded to allow the judgement by the eyes of the majority to influence that of what your soul sees?
The blind eye looks beyond the visual judgement and allows to see where the true value resides. (This brings to mind the movie, "Mask", starring Cher).

We all eventually fall prey to the persistant demands of aging.
Some of us age gracefully, accepting the "simple" reality that time reconstructs our exterior with dedicated attention. These persons are able to see beyond the visual, allowing them a far better chance of obtaining what true beauty there is to be had. It is their gain.

While there are the others who fight tooth and nail those very demands by attempting to postpone the enevitable fate of the "saggy, flabby, wrinkled, tired, and gray". They are so preoccupied with that of the exterior, (and more than likely accompanied by the superficial materialistics), that they may allow an opportunity of true value slip right past them. It is their loss.

And whether it is to their gain or to their loss.....To each their own. We all are equal to that very same right...To decide for ourselves which we choose.

What started out to be a simple, random question in the OP, (with many insightful responses, I might add), had somehow transformed into a rather ugly (and imo, disturbingly angry), conjunction of attitude by which was not the intention the op was seeking.

It is also my opinion that applied diplomacy in one's words is not sugar coating one's opinion. It is a construction of an opinion in such a way that said opinion is not offensive to another. It is a means of respecful conduct of oneself, which not only clearly announces the character of such person, but also clearly states the respect from such person to that of every single other person, as well. It is a practiced skill of handling onself without causing harm or creating hostility to another.
(Sometimes, in our research, we overlook the obvious).

Older or younger....We are all beautiful persons.

Shangrala

Please keep posting within the realm of the OP's question and keep the posting respectful to one another.

Everyone has an opinion and we are all allowed to have our own opinions. Generalizing and being disrespectful has no place on this thread or forums. Please take any member issues private.

Thanks for understanding!


sabby

Beautifully written.

Hi Shangrala,

I think you ask us about our opinion of age difference. Not sure why people get so upset if we say we rather prefer to date with somebody around our age rather than somebody who is much older like 10, 20 years older or so!

Love is a great thing, and love doesn't have any boundries....However, we are talking about people who are seeking for a partner far younger than themselves...that's really doesn't work well....but if two people met and fall in love then that's the different story...

I persoanlly don't like when older men, like older than 10 years, are flirting with me and trying to get my attention....and sometimes, I think what's with them....I won't have any common things to talk to them even....they are from another generation!

However, I always respect people's choices, and no judgement if my friends go date older guys or girls....that's their choice...If two people are happy together, they don't have to consider the age difference....

with love
Marjan

P.S. Do you mind if I ask you how old you are? and why are you curious about this question while you have strong opinion about being okay to go for age difference?