[bridgie]

I have been single for 3 years now and a lot of the time I so hope to find the one for me. I have chated online and texted but that's as far as it gets. I find all these things wrong before I even meet them. One txted at the wrong time of day. One told me he wanted to cuddle but said it multiple times and it drove me nuts so he's off my list. I think I am afraid of the contact. I've had some bad experiences in the past. Ones I'm not ready to share. Maybe they have made it impossible for me to get close to someone. It wldnt be so bad but I long for the contact yet have panic attacks if I even think their is a real possibility it cld happen. I don't know if their is anything that will help but I keep hoping

[totallyconfused]

I strongly believe, God has decided a time table for every soul on this earth, the harder you try, the more painful it gets... so I suggest you just let it be....One fine day out of nowhere .... things will change.... well they might soon....

Originally Posted by bridgie

I have been single for 3 years now and a lot of the time I so hope to find the one for me. I have chated online and texted but that's as far as it gets. I find all these things wrong before I even meet them. One txted at the wrong time of day. One told me he wanted to cuddle but said it multiple times and it drove me nuts so he's off my list. I think I am afraid of the contact. I've had some bad experiences in the past. Ones I'm not ready to share. Maybe they have made it impossible for me to get close to someone. It wldnt be so bad but I long for the contact yet have panic attacks if I even think their is a real possibility it cld happen. I don't know if their is anything that will help but I keep hoping

[jerrymichele]

Sorry this is hard for you. Have you been to therapy on these issues? I have really bad trust issues with men. Maybe you have these feelings too.

[Jenn1fer82]

Originally Posted by bridgie

I have been single for 3 years now and a lot of the time I so hope to find the one for me. I have chated online and texted but that's as far as it gets. I find all these things wrong before I even meet them. One txted at the wrong time of day. One told me he wanted to cuddle but said it multiple times and it drove me nuts so he's off my list. I think I am afraid of the contact. I've had some bad experiences in the past. Ones I'm not ready to share. Maybe they have made it impossible for me to get close to someone. It wldnt be so bad but I long for the contact yet have panic attacks if I even think their is a real possibility it cld happen. I don't know if their is anything that will help but I keep hoping

I agree with Totally, that you must allow time/life to figure this out and show the way for us. Sometimes the anixous feelings of wanting to have what we yearn for could only lead us in all the wrong places. It always helps to write out a honest list of all the things you want in a mate and then a list that you will not put up with in a relationship. This could be a guideline of what you should look for in a mate. Be honest with the person you've met and right away let them know what you're looking for without pushing them so far away from you, meaning don't sound demanding. The anixious feelings of getting close in a relationship is very difficult to overcome but when you meet the right person the process of overcoming the anixety of becoming emotionally vunerable with someone will be easier. I hope this has made some sense and help for you. I wish you the best of luck and hang in there.

[bridgie]

Thanks for the advice. its always nice to get other opinions and try out their ideas. At least give it a shot. As far as the trust issues, there are probably some. I was in therapy and was told to move on and get over all the past stuff. I stopped going after that.

[turquoisesea]

It sounds like the past is stopping you from living in the present.

Maybe being able to accept that the past happened, and being able to talk about it might be a first step?