[stieg]

I'm the big brother of three. My second brother is married with a 3 year old son(my nephew that i love so much), my third brother is with a girlfriend and being together for a couple of years and me the big brother is a single and maybe a boring loner. I haven't been on a date for very long and every valentines day and holiday season is a time i want to vanish from this world. I suck at dating, i don't know what to say to a woman. Going out by myself sometimes is sad and even boring obviously i don't have anyone to go out with. I went to the beach today and wathcing people getting together and me in my own made me feel to leave the beach at the moment. I wish i would never existed. I guess i must accept my current lifestyle even if it makes me miserable as always. I don't know what to do and what i should do to change what's happening to me. It's so deppressing what i'm going through right now. I'm hopeless.

[bridgie]

If u feel alone you cld always find and join groups doing things you enjoy. Perhaps take a class and meet people with similar interests. Gd luck

[Naturefreak]

(((steig)))

I can relate to what you are saying.
I am also the big brother of the family and all alone.
My other two brothers have families of their own.
Hang in there , I'm sure someone is out there for both of us.
Just doesn't seem possible at the moment .
Take care and good luck.
Valentine's Day ? What's that
My stepmother , God rest her soul , bought me a Valentine's
Day card once and addressed it from my dog.
I do love my dog , and I'm sure she meant well , but it just
made matters worse. Didn't tell her that though .

[jerrymichele]

I'm so sorry that this is painful for you. It might seem really awkward to you, but just start talking to people. Most women are talkers, so if you just introduce your self the woman will usually start the conversation. Keep in mind that it is really important to ask the woman about herself so that she knows that you are interested in her.

[marjan]

hey...nothing wrong with being alone and being the eldest one...trust me if you feel alone like this, if even you are with somebody still you feel lonely...you got to work on yourself....
I am like you too...but I'm trying to change and I can see the change little by little...
I have three sisters and I'm the middle one, the only lonely one...my sisters get so excited when they see me dating, then another disappointment very quickly, within couple of months...hehehehe....
Try to connect to people who are single then you feel less lonely, I avoid those who are giving me tension and stress or constantly asking about my dating and love life...I hate those questions....and sometimes, I tell them something nasty to stop them!
Beach is the greatest place ever....I went to beach on Saturday and my friend was with me, but she left soon....and ironically, when I was alone, I felt even better, because I start paying attention to my surrounding....I always wanted to try surfing...that motivated me to start talking to one of the surfers and he was so nice and gave me his friend's number who is a instructor...basically, the key is getting connected with people and not letting loneliness get into you....
stop thinking about it and you will be fine...most people are alone even if they have partners....
I feel lonelier if I have a partner who doesn't care about me!

take care
Marjan

[Dwayne61]

Hi stieg,

I'm also the big brother in my family. I have one sister who is married and has children. I'm also a loner. I'm not very good around women, either. Earlier this year, I lost a good friendship with a female friend. I'm still not sure what I done (if anything) to cause the break up. All I know for sure is that it still hurts.

I can understand the loneliness being worse around the holidays. To begin with, it was really difficult the closer it came to my birthday. Then I decided that I had two choices. Either give in to the depression or do something about it. So, I treated myself to a movie and a nice restaraunt that I hadn't ate at in a while.

Since I've lost this friendship, I decided to reach out to other people. Was it easy? No and I still have problems with it at times. But reaching out to others has helped me keep her off my mind.

Maybe you could look into volunteering somewhere? Maybe you could enroll in a class or join some kind of group. For me, it was going back to Alcoholics Anonymous. Although I hadn't had a drink in quite some time, I really needed the social support & they are people I have something in common with. There is one guy that I met there that I hang out a lot with.

I do still struggle with loneliness sometimes and the depression that goes along with it.

Dwayne61

Originally Posted by stieg

I'm the big brother of three. My second brother is married with a 3 year old son(my nephew that i love so much), my third brother is with a girlfriend and being together for a couple of years and me the big brother is a single and maybe a boring loner. I haven't been on a date for very long and every valentines day and holiday season is a time i want to vanish from this world. I suck at dating, i don't know what to say to a woman. Going out by myself sometimes is sad and even boring obviously i don't have anyone to go out with. I went to the beach today and wathcing people getting together and me in my own made me feel to leave the beach at the moment. I wish i would never existed. I guess i must accept my current lifestyle even if it makes me miserable as always. I don't know what to do and what i should do to change what's happening to me. It's so deppressing what i'm going through right now. I'm hopeless.

[stieg]

Thanks for all your comments. It ain't easy to work that out.