[bailey193]

so this might not be the best forum for this but its all i could think of. Im sitting her alone in my room crying because i just cant stand my stepfather anymore. we fight more then anything and i feel like hes completely controlling my mother and has taken her away from me. she was a single mom so we used to do everything together but now i never see her. we used to eat dinner as a family all the time and i cant remember the last time we did. we used to have girls days where we would go out shopping and now he just gets mad at her for spending money.. not that its even his to say anything about.. and now i never get to do anything with her anymore. we even work at the same place, my mom and i, and i still dont see her. tonite they told me that they are going to a fair that they know i wanted to go to.. on a day they knew i was working. and when i asked why my stepfather just made fun of me " what you need your mommy to hold your hand at the fair?" i hate him! why is it that just because im 21 i cant WANT to hang out with my family?!

usually you hear about parents not wanting their kids to leave.. mine are dying for me to move out... i hate this.. i feel so alone in my own house this is miserable. they push me to want to leave and be with my boyfriend but if marriage or apartment comes up, they tell me im too young. they dont want me here but dont want me out on my own either... i dont know what to do anymore.

[VickiesPath]

((((((bailey))))))

I am so sorry your life is like this. It is just awful that your mom has let you down like this. Have you told her how this is hurting you? Doesn't she even understand even an iota of how much pain this is causing you? It doesn't matter if you are 21 or 12, she should be at least standing up for the relationship she should be havng wth you.

I remarried when my son was 5. I am sorry to say that he and the man I married never bonded the way I had hoped they would (my new husband was clueless on relating to children) but he is a generous person and has provided both monetarily and emotionally for us both. I won't deny there was some jealousy there on occasion but the funny thing was, it was usually my husband who was the jealous one, the one who was feeling neglected. What a pain.

Is there any way you could sit down alone with your mom and have a heart to heart anytime soon? There are a lot of very hurtful feelings that need to be resolved and that step-father of yours needs an attitude adjustment and it's your mom's job to point that out to him.

If that doesn't work, what about family couseling?

Keep writing to us, sweetheart. Let us know how it's going.

[jerrymichele]

I'm so sorry Bailey. It sounds like the step dad is jealous. My dad was once married to a woman like this, and she never wanted me around my dad. I would bring this up to your mom. Besides that your mom needs to seperate your relationship from her husband. Next time the step dad gets smart tell him to stop being so dam jealous.

[AAAAA]

I’m SO sorry (((bailey))) I cannot even imagine the feelings of abandonment that you must be feeling. I don’t know how long your mom and step-dad have been married and it’s natural for any husband and wife to want to spend time alone together, but this is not a competition. You are her daughter, he is her husband.

If you’re working how about treating mom to a day of lunch out and a movie. Something you both like to do. Talk to her, let her know that you understand her need to do things with her husband but you love her and miss her and need some time too.

[bailey193]

i have talked to her this morning and we are going out for the day shopping and such so im going to try to get some talking in today.. but then again i dont know how well it will go.. ill check back later and let you know.

and thank you everyone who read and responded it makes me feel so much better to vent and have people listen and understand me.