[EJ711]

Friends,

Grrrrr ........

Maybe I've outgrown a friendship that has existed for 35 years.

I have been running around with my husband, taking care of his health needs, which included open-heart surgery almost four weeks ago, and I'm tired.

My friend has a habit of asking questions that wind up irking me. It may sound strange. She is 18 years older than me, and I kind of see her as a mother figure.

My emotions feels like they have been rubbed raw the last seven weeks dealing with a bunch of health-care professionals, who were not very compassionate towards me or my husband in a lot of cases.

My friend asked me a question, which relates to one of the sore spots in my life (job-related), and it just seemed like she was trying to put me down and deflate my self-esteem.

Now she won't answer the phone. I was trying to reach her so it didn't turn into a big deal.

I would love to hear from anyone who has experienced anything similar, or has some compassionate advice.

EJ

[(JD)]

(((EJ)))) From what I can tell, your friend is also burned out. The good thing about friends, they can go away for a bit and not have to be involved. Give your friend time to be away from all of it for a bit, and see if she doesn't return refreshed and recharged.

With that said, it also sounds like you need to do the same. Being a caregiver is tough work! If you don't take a break ..often... you will melt down as well and then there will be no one to take care of YOU (much less your hubby.)

You know, I'm in the thick of things with the estate business right now, and just this afternoon thought about getting a hotel room tomorrow night, taking two different projects I must work on, and escaping from the house. And there's no one else in my home!!! So you realize how beneficial it could be for you to replenish if those of us who don't have what you have to deal with can benefit that way.

Ugh..not sure I said that very clearly. I am so fatigued.
I know most people won't take the money to do what I'm thinking about. I always weigh the monetary cost against the psychological and physical benefits...some can't do that I know.

But you must find some respite. Take in a long movie? Go to the library or a spa even? Have lunch out with a good book...something (((EJ))) IDK maybe find a support group and go to a meeting, just to be heard.

[EJ711]

Sky,

Thanks for your input.

EJ

[bebop]

hon I don't know how old you are but with an 18 yr age difference I would imagine her hmmmm as elderly? I would probably chalk it up to her age. I am sorry you are going thru this hon.

[EJ711]

Hi Friends,

I have re-established my communication with this friend. Amazingly enough this 35-yr. relationship has been maintained over the phone.

We originally met at the office in New York City, but I was just there for training for around a month.

I decided to apologize to her, b/c she is my elder.

While she hurt my feelings by what she said, I shouldn't have confronted her until I was calmer.

I have decided I will structure the friendship now more like I was talking to my mother. I won't tell her anything that I think will worry her.

Wishing you all a good Friday and weekend ~

EJ