[jaredl90]

Ok well I will shair with you guys what is the problem with my friend that is in another state.

I used to live in Phoenix Arizona, I feel inlove with this girl and then I had 2 move to Houston Texas. Well now we are no longer together because of the distance that she lives and because she feels stuck with the guy she is with now.
She has a daughter that is almost 1 years old, and the father is a jerk and treats her horrible. He also disrespects his mother and I feel stacked for my ex and for her child.
The story is varry long, but my ex was adopted from Russia by a varry negative family. Once she had the child her mother no longer wants to help her or be a part of her life, her mother has her own issues and has always been a werid lady but besides that point she feels stuck.

She lives with her boyfriend at his mothers house, he is 21 and my ex is 19. They have a child that she stays home with everyday, and she is so depressed because the father is never there for his child and he treats the child with desrespect like he dosnt care about her.
She called me on the phone tonight crying and I have had enough of it, but I dont know what to do. I talked to her about putting the child up for adoption but she said that is out of the question because she is so attached to her. She wants to get her GED but her boyfriend keeps lying to her and saying he will get her the book the next day and never dos. She wants to get a job but then he says horrible things to her like why do you want a job when I have a job "so you can be a slut and has sex with your co-workers" ya its horrible thats only one thing he tells her though.
I feel so bad that all this is happening to her, but what can I do.
I could talk about this forever but it will be as long as a book.
If anyone has any infomation or help I would thank you varry much if you could provide me with it.
Thank you
Jared

[jerrymichele]

I think that she wants you to help her out from what I'm reading. Have you thought about going back with her even though she has a child? Would you be able to get her from where she is at? They do have d-violence shelters there that would help her where she is at. I would encourage her to remove herself from that awful situation. Keep posting.

[Visioneer]

The father sounds like bad news. I feel really sorry for her and the child. It is sad that he is holding her back from success in life, probably because he wants to control her, and the comment about having sex with her co-works is an obvious indicator of jealousy. She needs to get out of there before it gets any worse. At least they are not married, so she won't have to arrange for divorce. But custody battles are difficult, and if he wins visitation rights, she may not be able to leave the state. Unless there is proof of abuse, there is not much she can do to keep him from getting partial custody. There is also the possibility that he could be awarded sole custody because he has a job and she doesn't. She really needs to get on top of this stuff if she wants to make a positive change. And especially if there is physical abuse happening, she needs to get out of that house right away and get to a safe place. The evidence collected by the shelter could aid in her custody battle.

I wish her good luck.

As far as what you can do, you can only encourage her to do what she needs to do, support her from a distance, unless she asks more from you. I wouldn't focus on getting back into a relationship with her at this point - her life is already complicated enough. If you do still have feelings for her, let your actions speak for themselves and hopefully she will see what kind of man you are and decide for her self, and for her child, what is right.

[AAAAA]

I agree that this girl needs to seek help in her area. Even the smallest most remote communities have battered woman’s shelters, emotional abuse qualifies.

I feel really bad for you both. You are listening to a horrible situation that a loved one is going through and are powerless to do anything about it. I feel for her not only because she’s living the horrible situation, but she appears to be waiting for someone else to fix it. Until she takes the steps to help herself and her child, no one else can help her.

I would suggest the next time she calls that you recommend she look in the yellow pages to find the nearest woman’s shelter in her area. They will take collect calls and provide transportation to the facility.

[VickiesPath]

Jared,

Here are some phone numbers that might help your friend:

Empact/Crisis 480-784-1500
Shelter Hotline 1-800-799-7739
Community Information and Referral 602-263-8856