living in the shadow of the "ex"

My commonlaw husband had a bipolar, alcoholic ex that was also a drug abuser.
And since my diagnosis of ptsd, anxiety disorder, panic attacks and agoraphobia 6 months ago. I feel like our relationship has taken a subtle change.
I am not a big drinker, but do enjoy the occasional glass of wine.
(maybe 1 glass a week, sometimes none at all for a month or more)

Before my dx hubby never had a problem with this but now I catch him watching me out of the corner of his eye. I can understand him not wanting to go through all the drama and BS he went through in the past and I do understand that my dx probably brings a lot of bad memories back but I really feel like I am living in her shadow and suffering for her sins.
We are both trying to work our way through all this, but he has a distrust of psychiatrists, due to her's being a script passing qwack. And she never had psycotherapy that I go to every other week.
I am afraid of confronting him with this, as his way of coping is to not talk about it. I know we will eventually have to discuss it, but I'm just not sure how to go about it without him shutting it out.
Any advice would be helpfull,
Tracy

I would just tell him that you two need to talk about something, and that you don't want him to shut down over it. Just when you tell him it can't be in a combative way.

It's not right to be compared constantly to "the ex"

Having a heart to heart talk about it will be necessary. I dunno him and I dunno you so I'm not sure how you'd go about it.

Maybe coming from it at an angle that doesn't include "the ex" would be good. That way it isn't about HER it's about YOU. Perhaps discuss his views of psychotherapy, of your dx, of your meds if you have any. Discuss YOUR issues and what HE feels about it. If HE brings her up, then respond to it with "I'm not her, but I still respect your experience and feelings"... kind of thing. You can also drop it in at the end, expressing understanding that it's hard for him to go through this because he's had a bad experience in the past, but to reassure him that you are YOU, and that the situations are totally different. Different people, different stories.

Dunno if that helps, I'm a bit relationship-ex-confused myself =)

Aren't we all a little relationship - ex - confused?
Thanks for the advice, will give it a try.
Tracy