[superloner]

I just broke up with my boyfriend...about 2 weeks ago..it cause me a horrible pain..and that's how I end up on PC.. We've been together for more than a year..and it was along distance relationship..he lives in US and I live in Asia..at first it was okay.. Until he said that there's no more hope for us anymore..

He told me many times about the future..that it's impossible for us to be together if we look at the on going facts..(especially about the distance)..

I've been through a lot for the past two weeks...
Up until now...I'm still really depressed.. but really I'm trying my best to stand up..to face the reality..

We love each other so much...
even after he broke me up, he told me that he love me still...I still love him myself.. Never loved anyone like the way I love him..

The problem is.. he's changed now...
And I don't blame him for that.. Because I believe that every person has his/her way to face a problem..
I know that he's sad too about us breaking up..
But now he's becoming a 'cold stone' really...

We used to talk everyday on the phone,and talking via IM when we were still together.. even after we broke up..
What I can't take is that..he really act as if nothing ever happened.. a couple of days after we broke up of course I was still really really sad..that I would call send him text via IM just to tell him that I feel really sad.., right now I'm crying.., I'm watching this movie and it reminds me of you..bla..bla..

I did the texting thing usually while he was asleep..
Hoping that when he got up he'll at least say something to comfort me.. But he never said a word .

He'd just greet me like really nothing happened : Hello.good morning..
And it keeps on going until we had an argument about that... He said that he was sorry he's changed..that it was his way to tackle this problem..sadness..of us breaking up.. By becoming an 'ice'... so that he wouldnt feel the pain...he said he was sorry for being selfish...

The problem is..I couldn't take it anymore...everytime he calls me "honey' (he's still doing it...)everytime he says i love u to me..after we broke up..it's killing me..while on the other hand he's behaving like ice..plus the fact that we don't have each other anymore..

He wants everything to go smoothly.. by acting normal...
I cant do that...because I'm still in pain...
And I couldnt show him my sadness anymore because he wouldnt do a thing about it..and it's hurting me more..
I can't pretend anymore... like there's nothing happen..I can't pretend to be happy...I can't pretend as if everything's all right....

Last night I turned off all my cells...and today is the first time for us not talking each other since the day he left our country last year...

Please help me anyone...
What should I do..?
Am I doing the right thing here.. by turning off my cells?

Thank you,
Superloner

[Junerain]

I am sorry for your pain..

I dated people I met on the internet until I began going to karaoke bars, singing, and meeting lots and lots of people that I COULD see because they lived right in my town, right near me...the feeling of being able to go on a real date is wonderful...

...could you try to meet someone right near you, be it at church, at a support group, volunteering, working, doing what you love?

This could help you heal slowly, ever so slowly...

[superloner]

hi junerain..

first of all thanks..

so are you saying that you agree with my ex..that this is isn't going to work..this long distance thing?

Based on his schedule he'd be able to go back to our country by the end of next year...and after that he needs to go back to USA for another 3 years...that'll be the moment for us to be able to be together..and holding hands and FEELING it..

But the decision has made anyway...

well.....???

When I think using my real brain () I absolutely agree with you...about dating someone you COULD see...hehe..

But how to ease the pain now... ?

[LivingMiracle]

Heya,

I have been in your pain before and it was rough at first but I'm now glad it happened. Though it wasn't as far as your long distance, distance does make a difference. After the break up I did exactly what Junerain said to do. I got out and met some great people. I was holding myself back at first thinking I would never love again or meet someone else. Boy was I wrong!

Take your time healing there is no rush. The best thing that I did to stop the pain was to stop the pain was that I cut off all communication. I discovered that by still talking to him, I was only causing myself more pain and not allowing myself to heal. Maybe you should try that. Its gonna be hard but it might just work for you like it did for me.

Be kind to yourself.

[superloner]

hi there living miracle...

thanks for the advice... you people are so kind... I'm really happy to have found this site..and meeting people like you guys... I mean it...

Me myself I dont talk a lot to people about my private stuff.. I like to keep it for myself..even to my friends..even to my close friends sometimes it's hard for me to speak up..(I'm weird I know..but I guess that's me)..

I guess you're right about : I discovered that by still talking to him, I was only causing myself more pain and not allowing myself to heal.

Thank you livingmiracle...

[LivingMiracle]

Your very welcome superloner.
Glad you have came to the site and feel safe enough to share. This is your place to be yourself here free of judgment and bias. ( I too keep stuff to myself and only share stuff on here that I would never share to anyone out of here) So you aren't alone.
Caring hugs if you would like some.

[Junerain]

((((superloner)))

It is GREAT to hear you enjoy the unconditional love this site offers, I have been through A LOT, came through it, and love listening & responding to people, I feel we all should be 'heard'

This site is FILLED with warm, loving people..

If you feel it is hard to open up to friends, why not post more about yourself, open up HERE

Perhaps you will be the one to reach out to someone else, I come to this site everyday, it is a community so supportive
PM me if you want!