[manmohan]

I am 25. I became close friends with a girl in my class. Then it developed into a bit more than friends when we started flirting with eachother. since our classes were on part time basis in the morning, i used to work in a consulting firm in the afternoon till 8 at night. i was well paid over there and had been liked by all, even my boss. i am very soft spoken and very rarely hurt others.

Since the girl i liked had some financial problems, as her parents were wage earners on daily basis. I arranged her a job at my place, as i knew the persons at my work place and they dint say no to me. Everything went right in the beggining. we became more closer and closer. Reached a stage were we couldnt breathe if we dint see each other in a day. we cared for each other a lot. we even discussed personal problems with each other.She always said she liked me a lot.

After 2 months she couldnt handle both studies and job, as since it was last year we were bogged down with lots of assignment.she had to quit the job to concentrate on studies. also her mother was hospitalized in the mean time for a week. i was always besides her through out the tough times she was going. i however continued with the job. we started flirting more and more in class. I sometimes couldn concentrate on work as i missed her lot at my work place. i told her that i liked her a lot. i was waiting for right time to propose her.

But then after few days the problems started. she started paying lesser and lesser attention to me. she doesnt have a boyfriend. But used to hang out with a bunch of friends. but since i couldnt hang out with her all day long as i had my job in the afternoon but still sometimes i would be with her, at the cost of my pay.

she stopped texting me back citing reasons of being tired all day long. kept her conversation limited to two to three text. was even lazy to attend my calls. however i was more busier than her actually given my work and morning classes. but still could find time for her. deep inside i was feeling let down by her and that she had no time for me. I spoke to her regarding why she is not as close as we used to be before. She was telling that she liked me a lot, cared for me. but also had other things family, friends etc for which she had to devote time.

as days passed she never used to call me r text me. but used to reply sluggishly when i calld r textd her. finally it reached a stage where she would only wish me good morning r gd night n used to say a 'hi' when she met me face to face.

one day i had met an accident. i was not injured but my car was badly. i txtd her regarding it as i always do. she replied to check whether i was ok. for which i narrated her the incident. then she told me she would txt me back as she was busy. but that whole day she was not bothered to know about. i wondered is this the same girl who used to care for me a lot.

The next morning i had to rush my dad to doctor as he complained of chest pain. Doc advised us to take him to another city for check up as we dint have superspeciality treatment in our town. i came to meet her after dropping my dad home. she was hanging out with her friends. she smiled and wished me hi. and continued having fun with friends. i wanted to talk to her. waited a bit. i dint want to poke my nose into their conversation. i left from there saddened and dint say bye to any.

Night i had travel wid dad to next city for treatment. i wished her good night before leaving. she dint. good morning next day. she dint. i was so so sad. the girl whom i had done so much has no concern for me. i txtd her why she is not replying n i asked sorry if i had done any thing wrong. i was sure i dint do anything wrong. she never replied.

Next day i reached back. txtd her about me leaving town, hospital etc but she dint reply as usual. That was the last time even i textd her.i wanted to talk to her that day. she dosent look at my face

I would like to know how can someone be so mean and rude. after all i cared so much for her. loved her. my mind is not working now. i cant work. my boss complains as i keep my work pending. I don’t have the zeal to work as before. My jobs in trouble. i feel very sad. i dont know whom to be trusted and who not to. i want to know why did she do that. i want to ask her that. but she dosent look my face.i dont want her to be sympathetic towards me. i am not expecting any favor from her in return for the things i done for her. i just want her to speak to me..I still love her and care for her.What might have gone wrong??? Why is life so cruel to me???How can human behavior be so unpredictible and can behavior of individuals change so fast??? I love her and finding it difficult to live without her..

Sounds like she is taking the cowards way out to me, ie she isnt interested in you anymore but rather than tell you straight out she is hinting and hoping you get the message which you didnt so now she is blanking you.

I dont see how she owes you anything you got a friend a job which was nice of you but she still dosnt 'owe' you anything.

Its hard to face somtimes when the one you love dosnt love you back and for this I am sorry.

Try to occupy yourself with other things but you have to move on as she has.

[jerrymichele]

I agree with Tishie. She did take the cowards way out. I know that it is hard, but try to focus on keeping your job. You really don't want to loose your job over her. I know it sucks when you love someone, and they don't love you back. You will find someone who will love you. Keep posting.

[Peppermint_Patty]

Manmohan,

Originally Posted by manmohan

I am 25. I became close friends with a girl in my class. Then it developed into a bit more than friends when we started flirting with eachother. since our classes were on part time basis in the morning, i used to work in a consulting firm in the afternoon till 8 at night. i was well paid over there and had been liked by all, even my boss. i am very soft spoken and very rarely hurt others.

Since the girl i liked had some financial problems, as her parents were wage earners on daily basis. I arranged her a job at my place, as i knew the persons at my work place and they dint say no to me. Everything went right in the beggining. we became more closer and closer. Reached a stage were we couldnt breathe if we dint see each other in a day. we cared for each other a lot. we even discussed personal problems with each other.She always said she liked me a lot.

After 2 months she couldnt handle both studies and job, as since it was last year we were bogged down with lots of assignment.she had to quit the job to concentrate on studies. also her mother was hospitalized in the mean time for a week. i was always besides her through out the tough times she was going. i however continued with the job. we started flirting more and more in class. I sometimes couldn concentrate on work as i missed her lot at my work place. i told her that i liked her a lot. i was waiting for right time to propose her.

But then after few days the problems started. she started paying lesser and lesser attention to me. she doesnt have a boyfriend. But used to hang out with a bunch of friends. but since i couldnt hang out with her all day long as i had my job in the afternoon but still sometimes i would be with her, at the cost of my pay.

she stopped texting me back citing reasons of being tired all day long. kept her conversation limited to two to three text. was even lazy to attend my calls. however i was more busier than her actually given my work and morning classes. but still could find time for her. deep inside i was feeling let down by her and that she had no time for me. I spoke to her regarding why she is not as close as we used to be before. She was telling that she liked me a lot, cared for me. but also had other things family, friends etc for which she had to devote time.

as days passed she never used to call me r text me. but used to reply sluggishly when i calld r textd her. finally it reached a stage where she would only wish me good morning r gd night n used to say a 'hi' when she met me face to face.

one day i had met an accident. i was not injured but my car was badly. i txtd her regarding it as i always do. she replied to check whether i was ok. for which i narrated her the incident. then she told me she would txt me back as she was busy. but that whole day she was not bothered to know about. i wondered is this the same girl who used to care for me a lot.

The next morning i had to rush my dad to doctor as he complained of chest pain. Doc advised us to take him to another city for check up as we dint have superspeciality treatment in our town. i came to meet her after dropping my dad home. she was hanging out with her friends. she smiled and wished me hi. and continued having fun with friends. i wanted to talk to her. waited a bit. i dint want to poke my nose into their conversation. i left from there saddened and dint say bye to any.

Night i had travel wid dad to next city for treatment. i wished her good night before leaving. she dint. good morning next day. she dint. i was so so sad. the girl whom i had done so much has no concern for me. i txtd her why she is not replying n i asked sorry if i had done any thing wrong. i was sure i dint do anything wrong. she never replied.

Next day i reached back. txtd her about me leaving town, hospital etc but she dint reply as usual. That was the last time even i textd her.i wanted to talk to her that day. she dosent look at my face

I would like to know how can someone be so mean and rude. after all i cared so much for her. loved her. my mind is not working now. i cant work. my boss complains as i keep my work pending. I don’t have the zeal to work as before. My jobs in trouble. i feel very sad. i dont know whom to be trusted and who not to. i want to know why did she do that. i want to ask her that. but she dosent look my face.i dont want her to be sympathetic towards me. i am not expecting any favor from her in return for the things i done for her. i just want her to speak to me..I still love her and care for her.What might have gone wrong??? Why is life so cruel to me???How can human behavior be so unpredictible and can behavior of individuals change so fast??? I love her and finding it difficult to live without her..

When we help someone, we should do so out of kindness not because we want something in return. The person you helped, doesn't owe you anything. I am sorry she has turned her back on you, but that's life, we can't make people love us... it's their choice to make that.

Anyway if you are feeling really, really sad you may want to talk to a counselor or psychologist because you may be suffering from depression.

Good luck,

Peppermint

[Dwayne61]

manmohan, I'm sorry that you're going through this. I agree with Tishie and Michele about her taking the cowards way out.

Something very similiar happened to me a few months ago. Although we were only friends, I really cared about her. I'm really not sure what I said to her that made her want to end our friendship. To me, it really doesn't make sense. The way your friend is acting, reminds me a lot of the way my friend is treating me.

My problem is that I always invest way too much in relationships. It seems that I give more than I get back. What has helped me is to reach out to other people.

[VanillaBean]

I agree with the other posters. She doesn't owe you anything. I'm sorry you are hurting, but PLEASE do not let this continue to have a negative impact on your job. I know that is easier said than done. But if you end up losing your job because you are too distracted by what this jerk did to you, then you will be even worse off than you are now - unemployed AND heartbroken. Plus you will have too much time on your hands and this can be disastrous for someone who is hurting like you are. "Idle minds are the devil's playground." Keep yourself busy and over time you should stop feeling so badly. If you don't it may benefit you to talk to a professional. Good Luck

[gimmeice]

Hello manmohan, it's nice to meet you.
I agree with what everyone has said, sometimes this happens and it can be really hard to move on but that is what it sounds like you need to do at this point.
Keep posting here if you would like, there is a lot of support here.
If you have any questions while navigating the site feel free to private message any community liaison or moderator, here is a link to a list of forum leaders.
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showgroups.php