I am so stupid.

I have to tell you guys, I am so stupid sometimes. Did someone say "boundries"?

I correspond by email with one of my ex-husbands.....WHY I have no idea. He's a mess. He is on wife #7. Seriously. He lives in Houston. He has said many times that we should do Skype.

Last night, I talked with my son. He told me that he was working on a report for school on Brown vs. Board of Education. This case was a landmark civil rights case in the United States which was tried in federal court in Topeka, Kansas. The plaintiff was Oliver Brown for his daughter, Linda Brown, of Topeka, Kansas. Charles Scott, Jr. was the attorney for Mr. Brown. This was a case against segregation in the public schools back in the 1950's. The federal court ruled against the Board of Education and this case began the movement to desegregate schools in the United States.

I used to work with Charles Scott. I told my son about it. I mentioned this to the ex on an email this morning. He used to work with Charles, too. He emailed me right back and said, let's Skype! He wanted to talk about old times! So I gave in and did. All I can say is, it was creepy! I don't want to do that again. I don't know why I did that. I don't really like him and I don't want to do that again. He is the weirdest guy because he thinks he can be friends with anyone, even his ex-wives and it's just creepy. I think I better tell him I didn't enjoy it.

I was married to him when I was initially diagnosed with a mental illness and frankly, he was very emotionally abusive. His basic personality has not changed but, obviously, I'm not married to him now.

Geez.

(((((((((((((Vickie))))))))))))))))))))))

Block him from your list.

"No matter how far you have gone on a wrong road, turn back".
~ Turkish proverb

Vickie, you did dip your toes back in to the water, but you also backed off afterwards. Hang on to the part of your actions that made you back off. That, IMO, is your best course. Be well friend.

Hey Vickie - I have a correction to make in your title. Instead of "I am so stupid" it should read "He's so stupid" - for letting you go.

If you're not comfortable communicating with him, then by all means, do what ever makes you feel better. You don't owe him anything really.

I guess I should say that this is not the first time I have talked with him. I have had a friendly sort of ..... friendship or whatever with him (of sorts) since our divorce (1988) and I have met a few of his wives. It really sounds weird trying to explain this, now that I see it in writing. It's just hard to explain. Maybe I've finally come to my senses and the reality of the whole thing seems too bizarre. My husband has met him. Anyway, for some reason today it just freaked me out.

Never again.

Vickie there are a lot of people who are friends with their ex's. I have a few friends like that. It's really more common then what you think. Stop being so hard on yourself about it.

Vickie,

What does he get out of talking with you? Do you have children together? Otherwise, what's your purpose?

Is his current wife aware that he talks to an ex?

No children, yes, she's aware of it, no idea what he gets out of it, I have no idea what our purpose is except that we have kept in touch since we've been divorced. For some weird reason, we did that. Not sure why.

I wouldn't talk to him if she didn't know. Actually, I've corresponded with her regarding some business matters before.

No judgment Vickie...however the world goes around, it goes around.

For the record, I still stay in touch with my ex-mother in law and that's 32 years now! Periodically, she reminds me that she still loves me and always will. That's nice. I love her too.

You know, you guys asked me "what's your purpose?"

I've never given that any thought before.

He and I worked together and that's how we met. We were in a very different field of work. It was kind of like when you are a police officer, or a soldier, or a firefighter, or something where you share a unique experience that few people experience and it was important work. When we divorced, it was way after I no longer worked there and the reasons had nothing to do with the job anymore. They were simply marriage reasons.

But, like soldiers or police officers or firefighters, we shared something that bonded us and something that we both feel very strongly about. Perhaps thats the reason we still correspond. I think I also know why I freaked out this morning. No explanation needed. I feel OK now......now that I've examined the reason why I still talk to him.

What an amazing process. Thank you all for your feedback. I don't feel stupid anymore.

You never were..........

Vickie, I don't know you, but I follow your posts, and stupid you certainly are not! You are one of PC's best and brightest responders, and you help many, with your wit and wisdom. I'm computer-illiterat, at best, and don't know what skyping is, but if your tired of it, you are, and I can't see that you have to tell him a lot. Just stop doing it. Just a thought and not an expert on relationships! ~ billieJ

Oh, Billie, you just made my day. I just ramble on and on sometimes and it seems like everyone is so nice and I figure whatever I throw out there, one can read or toss it. Thank you for such nice comments and I do appreciate hearing that you sometimes get something from my posts. It might not seem so, but I have no idea if what I post means anything or not. I'm just me. In fact, there are two me's inside. One me tells me that I am an unusual person who has lived an unusual life and has lots to share that others can benefit from. The other me says just shut up, Vickie, no one really gives a s*****, you're wasting space but if it helps to get it out of your system, go ahead.

I have volunteered to become a speaker for the National Alliance on Mental Illness. I am also going to train to become a trainer for them. I am terrified. I keep saying to myself, What do I have to offer anyone? This is a joke. I'm terrified that I am lying to myself and I will find out that no one cares that any of us live with mental illness and no one cares what I have to say. I am afraid that I will let all of you down when I speak.

Thank you, Billie.

PS: Skype is a program that lets you use your webcam.