[Jessika_Smile]

A lifetime movie plot, yet it's my life....

I hate when my dog starts barking at nothing. It scares me....
He's doing it right now, barking from the inside to the outside. I was afraid he'd might be out there.
I have just given birth to a son, no longer than three months ago. His son. He rushed right into my life, didn't give me a second to think - and I dove in. And I can't tell you to this day what, how, or why that happened. He got me involved with the cops on a domestic violence charge, because he was drunk and decided to take it out on my apartment. Second chance given. He moves in with me and my mom. 2 Months later I got pregnant with our son. I continued to work and support him. Because he had no job. In fact he hadn't had a job since 2004. He had no car. He had no family, he had NOTHING. But me.... He offered nothing to the table. Meanwhile, I go to work as a waitress - giving up many dreams I had once had. He tried to find jobs, I took him to interviews in my jeep, spent my gas money, spent money on lunch. Yeah we "looked" for jobs for him. Nothing was happening for over a year that I was with him. So I worked all the way up to my 38th week, I delivered 40 weeks and 3 days later. I primarily took care of Paxton, our son. I was up every three hours in the night. He claimed he couldn't hear him. Well baby Paxton has been sleeping next to our bed since he was born, and when he wants up he'll be darn sure to let you know. During the day I would watch Paxton while Mike would go out with a commission based sales job. Which was going nowhere fast, especially being on my dime. Gas is expensive! He never made money at this thing and I was at home watching Paxton, then when coming home I would have to go leave for work. All the while Mike gets to sit at home on the computer living out pipe dreams of a Clothing Company. And tending to Paxton only when he needed to. He had become this leech, and I enabled it. Well finally I had had enough last month and decided Mike needed to move out. That I couldn't take on all this on my own. Taking care of Mike, taking care of Paxton, and taking care of.... me. In this time Mike has overly harassed me by texting, blogging, and calling. Begging for his once pretty decent life back. He had nothing. No one left to turn to, but a party animal cousin. He moved in there and has been partying every night, having people over, talking about how girls are coming over there. So he's done nothing to change. Stays up all night, drinking, wollowing, etc. No job hunt, no space, no rationality.
And then he trys pulling the suicide card. I can't live without you, I'm going to kill myself, and saying the tretchorous things he's going to do to himself. Pills and beer. Well either way I called him out on it. I called the cops on him. My therapist suggested I do so. She was right. It felt good and empowering. To say no, you dont have that hold on me anymore. I'm not falling for your tricks. The cops picked him up and he was in the hospital for a mesely 4 hours. They let him go, and not a few minutes later he was calling and texting me on how much he loves me. And to share, he really hasn't made a big deal that he hasn't seen Paxton that much. I know I'd be dying if I couldnt see Paxton. But right now, I just dont think I can have Mike around. I dont want Paxton to be his excuse for coming over. So he could get to me. He's beyond made me mad, and he's drove me to my wits end. I'm trying to keep it together for Paxton and myself. I've made strong progress, and I know I"m doing the right thing. But Mike just wont back off, and frankly he scares me. He is A. Coniving. Sneaky. Ratty. He uses everyone to solve his problems for him. He asks people for money to bail him out of his police problems, or life problems... Now most people have exhausted their efforts with him because he leeches and never takes responsibility. Sometimes I feel like he might try and pull something and make trouble for me and Paxton. And for B. I don't know what he's capable of. I've seen him at his worst of times, and it's pretty scary. He goes bonkers. Sometimes in his fits of anger he'd throw something at me. Examples, a ring, a pacifier, pillow, burp rag, papers, a cigarette... He went to anger management classes, it seemed to help for awhile, but now he seems back to his old self. And drinking was the worst of him. I don't know if he'd come after me, or Paxton, or anyone. Like I said in the beginning, my dog really scares me when he starts barking at the outside................

[jerrymichele]

You have done the right thing by leaving this guy.What I would do next,is go down to the police station and file a order of protection. AND, change your phone number. If your worried about your son seeing him, tell him that he needs to be in anger management to even think about seeing him. I would also get a hold of child support, and start pushing that. That might just force him to work.

[Pomegranate]

I agree with Michele. You are doing the right thing by getting this man out of your life. Keep letting the police know everytime he bothers you - try to keep a record of some kind on all the calls and texts he makes to you. Get that order of protection and start making a record of every time he acts inappropriately out of anger. He just may try to go after your son as a way to get to you. So prepare for that. Talk to a lawyer. Trust your gut instinct. I would not go after him for child support, if he's not working there's nothing to get and it just might give him ideas about trying to get custody and child support from you.

[AAAAA]

I think you've heard some excellent advice. Change your phone number, block him on all of your online communication programs. Close those accounts that do not allow you to block him. Contact an woman's shelter in your area to get advice on what to document. If he comes over to your house, tell him you will not have any further contact with him and are calling the police. Keep calling the police.

Are you friendly with your neighbors? Let them know he's not welcome anymore, that you're afraid of him and if they see him around have them call the police. Let him know the neighborhood/building is on notice that he is not to be there and they are going to notify the police if they see him.

If he wants to see his son, make him go through the court to do so. Based upon the information you've given, supervised visits would be recommended. If you can, move, change your job. Make sure that any day care provider knows that HE is not permitted to pick your son up.

Do NOT under any circumstances give him the benefit of the doubt. He'll try to manipulate you until he learns that it won't work, then move on.

As for the dog, I keep my blinds closed to keep them quiet.