[thunderbear]

me and my mamaw have a weird relationship that I think somtimes borders on abusive. she has alot of mental health problems (but being 70 years old don't belive in mentall illnesses). she gets reall mad really easilly and flys off the handle usually with me or her step son who's 25 y/o. Well when I was a kid, and I mean a little kid, she would tell me "You better not do that cause the devil will get you" She is super religous. like one time when I was 13-14 years old, I used to like to get under my bed and read. In a house with 5 kids runnning around it was just about as private as the bathroom. Anyway, I got my new stephen King book and flashlight and got under my bed. I guess I fell asleep and mamaw and my aunt came looking for me and my mom told them I might be under my bed. Well they both swore that "the old devil was in me" making me do stuff like that. It's still like this now. She has pretty much raised my oldest son. Back when e was a baby, I raised him when he was allmost a year I had a drug problem and needed to get my life straightened out so my mamaw said "I'll look after him while you go get it together" I moved to Edmonton which is down state. I found a good job there working on a farm I got sober and found a nice small apartment. I came back up here to get my son and the 2nd day I was here I was setting at my mom's and a sherriff delivered court papers. They were child suport court papers. Well apparently mamaw had filed for food stamps and listed my son as her dependant. Which I was'nt too mad because she needed help. So we got that straightned out and a few months went by and I had met my now husband, I had moved into a trailer beside her and was paying reant and my son was living with me. I fund out I was pregnant with my youngest son. And in my 8th month, I wa sagain served with court papers. My mamaw ha went up to the child support division and filed abandonment on me. In this state that is against the law. My lawyer had it thrown out saying I lived just a few hundred yards from her and had for a year now. She sweas to this day that she did'nt sign thse papers. She does'nt know that I got a copy of everything she told the CS worker about me. It is'nt much beter now. Back a few years ago her and her lawyer told me the only way she could get my son help with his autism was if I signed a joint guardianship document. So I did. Now we're kinda like a divorced couple that has a kid. We are close almost like mother daughter close. But she is so mean sometimes. Just this past summer I got mad because she was being mean to my youngest son (she always treats him differantly form my oldest son, in part because she don't like my husband) well anyway we got into an argument and she told me I was possesed and had satan in me just all kinds of things. She says stuff like "If your mother could see the way you treated me she would be so mad and dissappointed at you" I mean really hurtful things. She flys off at a moments notice. Some days I will call her to check on her and I can just tell in her voice when she's having one of her bad days. It's llike 50% of the time she kind loving and fun to be arund and then the other 50% it takes all I have to just not shake her. During her bad times she will argue about anything. I mean if you told her the sky was blue, she would say no it's purple and then get mad when you did'nt belive her and argue and say hurtful things. I'm the only grandchild she does this too. My cousin owes her like $300 and my mamaw just lets her off. If I owe her $20 she thows it up in my face. Sometimes she'll get in a mood where she want s to help and buy things for me. I tell her no don't or I don't need it but she'll go and buy it for me anyway. But then she'll get mad and throw it up in my face. Like I asked her. Anyway I'm sorry this was long but I been thinkin about the whole "the devils gonna get at you" thing, because she told my youngest son that and now he goes around sayin "If your bad the devils and demons are gonna get ya" That bothers the ***** out of me. To the point where I get scared and anxious. UGH it makes me sick to my stomach, I had to get it off my chest. Thanks for readin it

[jerrymichele]

I wouldn't argue with her. I also think that if she is treating your youngest son different, than I wouldn't bring him over to her house. I have a grandma something like that. She picks favorites. I have a aunt that she has went way and beyond to do whatever makes her happy. As a result of this, her other daughter can't really stand her, and my mother has passed. My grandma only has one daughter that she is close to, but my aunt treats her bad. One thing that I have learned in my life is that you will also be treated the way you treat others. If your grandma is really upsetting you than just make small talk with her. If she is being nasty to you, try and change the subject. I would tell you to let her be, but your son is over there.

[Pomegranate]

(((((Thunderbear))))) It's so good of you to try and keep checking on your mamaw, especially since she is not the easiest person to get along with. I would give her extra attention during the times she is being loving and nice to you. When she starts "acting up" I would cut things short and stay away until her attitude changes again.

Maybe you can talk with your son about this devil stuff? Tell what you think, what your values are. If you don't believe in the devil, tell him so. Start a dicussion with him, and keep it open and ongoing. It'll take time to get mamaw's influence over him out of his head.