[kccouple2224]

I have been very interested in sharing my wife with another guy. we are trying to explore new sexual ideas and this is one of the ideas i brought up. it has honestly been about 4 months of us talking about this idea before her actually being interested in the idea. she actually is taking a liking to it. I love her and feel like our relationship can withstand anything but i wonder if this might be something with me wanting her to do this?

[Yoda]

Might work, might not.

My experiences were that a threesome with my BF was fine as long as the other was female but it did not go well when the other was male. But that was us.

Originally Posted by couple

I have been very interested in sharing my wife with another guy. we are trying to explore new sexual ideas and this is one of the ideas i brought up. it has honestly been about 4 months of us talking about this idea before her actually being interested in the idea. she actually is taking a liking to it. I love her and feel like our relationship can withstand anything but i wonder if this might be something with me wanting her to do this?

Is this your idea?
It's not a good idea....
If you want to explore new sexual ideas do it with your wife. You don't have to share your wife nor you should sleep with others...
even though your wife agreed with you, she'll regret it later.
You guys both end up getting hurt.
I strongly don't recommend it.

[salukigirl]

I agree. It might sound good and she may just be saying yes to please you. I know for a fact that if my BF and I ever had a 3some I would constantly be thinking "he wants her instead of me" or "he is thinking about her instead of me". I think something that like is the kind of thing that can kill a relationship. Its difficult enough to sustain marriage in today's society without adding other bumps in the road.

Originally Posted by salukigirl

I agree. It might sound good and she may just be saying yes to please you. I know for a fact that if my BF and I ever had a some I would constantly be thinking "he wants her instead of me" or "he is thinking about her instead of me". I think something that like is the kind of thing that can kill a relationship. Its difficult enough to sustain marriage in today's society without adding other bumps in the road.

Totally agree with you on this

I have some question

1. Do you want to share your wife with other guys for yourself? or for your wife???

Have you seriously thought about pros and cons?

pros will be just short term things but you also have to think about consquenses....

This is not just about exploring sexual desires...
If your relationship is strong enough, then you don't need to share your wife. If you are having relationship problems... then there you go.
Then you know why you want to share your wife with someone else...

[JayS]

This thread blows my mind.... just why? I don't get it. poor wife, I feel sorry for her.

[lorna]

I read this thread and I felt why have a wife if you feel the urge to share her

[jerrymichele]

Originally Posted by kccouple2224

I have been very interested in sharing my wife with another guy. we are trying to explore new sexual ideas and this is one of the ideas i brought up. it has honestly been about 4 months of us talking about this idea before her actually being interested in the idea. she actually is taking a liking to it. I love her and feel like our relationship can withstand anything but i wonder if this might be something with me wanting her to do this?

Welcome to pc. Not to be harsh on you, because that is not my intentions. I think that your wife might be feeling pressured to do this for you. Don't get me wrong, it's good to have fantasies, but acting on them can be very costly. IMO this is one of those things, that she is on board from the beginning, or she's not. What I'm saying is, you could be asking her to compromise her values. You might be happy in the long run, but she could feel very hurt. Than you need to ask yourself is this really worth taking a chance.

A wife is not a possession to be shared. She belongs to herself not to you. Any pressure you have put on her is not fair. If it is not truly her own desire to do this, you are asking her to compromise her personal integrity, something I am sure she will have a hard time forgiving you for once she realizes it.

[MickG]

Personally, when I’m with a woman I’m like a big baby she’s MINE, MINE, MINE! And I have no interest in sharing my goodies. I’m not into threesomes. I like to seriously make love and be totally into my partner to the point where I am consumed by her if that makes sense.

If this is something that she had to “take a liking to” then perhaps it is not what she truly wants and she could just be trying to please you. If that is the case then I don’t think adding a third person is necessarily a good thing at this point. I think you are on the right track though in exploring whether or not this is you wanting her to do this.

[crystalrose]

i think that threesomes are ok. But can get kind of messy. I would never do a mmf only do mff. Why does the third person hav to be male?

[salukigirl]

You also might want to think of how just suggesting it makes her feel. If my BF ever suggested that to me I think I would bawl my eyes out feeling that I must not be good enough for him. I agree with previous posters that she probably feels pretty hurt by this. And I also agree that its good to have fantasies but maybe instead of acting them out could you guys watch a video of a 3some? Or talk dirty like youre in one without actually going the extra mile?

[50guy]

3 words..............Don't do it.

[Trying & Caring]

I would be really hurt if my husband suggested this. Some things are better left unsaid. I'd rather you work on your relationship w/your wife than muddling it up w/this stuff. Plus, where do you find this other person? A friend?? A colleague?? On the internet?? Yuck.

I actually think this topic does need a trigger icon as it could be quite upsetting to spouses who have been coerced into this kind of thing.

[Slothrop]

To my own surprise, I'll go out on a limb and disagree with the others.

I am reading a lot of defense of your wife in these responses. That strikes me as premature, because your few words tell us next to nothing about what she really feels. I am hearing others project their insecurities onto your wife. But some folks, both men and women, are open to multiple partners. Who knows; perhaps your wife is one.

I think it is second-guessing her to assume that she has been hurt by your suggestion. I'd prefer to assume that that she will tell you where to stuff it if she doesn't like the idea.

BUT, having said all that, I think so-called "polyamory" is a lot like putting your life savings on a poker game. The results could be fabulous. Or the whole thing could blow up in your face, leaving you with nothing.

If your wife is really and truly into it, and if your relationship is strong, you might be able to pull it off. But if you are having to prod or nudge or cajole her (or worse, coerce or manipulate), that's bad.

Good luck with whichever path you choose together.

[miray]

IMHO...it totally depends on the people involved. If you are in COMPLETE agreement with this, lay out a clear set of ground rules...before anything takes place. Then you also need to make sure the other guy is okay with and understands all these ground rules. As long as you are all in agreement, and everyone is on the same page, it should be fine. But the three of you are the only ones who can really answer that question. If there is any apprehension on anyones part, don't do it.