[youOme]

Last Saturday I left my boyfriend. I was in a situation where I had to decide to either be with my children or be with him, and I chose my children. So, we did not split on bad terms. I am still very much in love with him and think of him constantly. I literally physically ache when I do. Being without him has caused me to sink into a depression (along with other factors, but that is defintitly the major one). I know I need to start to get over him, to heal... but I don't know how. I've never been in a relationship where I've loved somebody so deeply before. The sooner I start to forget him, the better. I want to rid him out of my mind and move on with my life. How do I do this?

[BeautifullyMistaken]

That's a hard situation to be in...However I think you made the right choice as your children always come first.

I have recently lost contact with my closest friend of 8 years. It was deff. a mutual separation (though we'll never speak again). I know its not the same as losing a partner, but I would say it's close. We spent literally everyday together. I cared a lot about her, more than anyone else. But as the saying goes "Time heals all wounds". I think about the happy times and all the fun we once shared, but throughout all the years, there was more bad times than good. I think everything was an illusion (for me), I thought I was happy, thought that I wouldn't be able to live without my 'best friend'. But I am living. I can almost say I've never been more happy and content with my life than I am right now. Her & I had many, many fights which led us to non-speaking terms many times. I was always completely lost without her, unsure if I could cope without her being there to help me. But I did move on and I am thankful I did. I realized that she never truly helped me (with regards to my depression). I can only take so many "I can't handle yous" and "We're better off not speaking anymore". I never wanted to believe it, But I have and for that; I'm thankful. I don't hate her by any means, I still care about her and think about her..But in the end--I know this IS the right choice. *Sorry---I didn't mean to rant on about that, moving on*

All in all---That's good that you guys split on mutual terms. That leads me to the conclusion that there is still something there, and that the both of you can at least be friends. You are depressed now (which is completely understandable), but soon you will start to feel better. There has to be a reason why you two separated. (not sure at this point because you didn't say much as to why, so not sure how much help I can be). But in regards to how to move on, there are several things you can do.

Start writing. Journals can be very helpful...writing down your thoughts and feelings
Read. Start reading books at night...it passes time and it will ease your mind
Get out. Going out with friends (anywhere) can be helpful. Try not to be alone for very long....making you feel isolated.
Communication. Talk to family and/or friends about what's going on in your life. They may be able to give you advice or at least be there when you need someone to talk to.
Start to do some of the things you've always wanted to do, but never did. Biking, Hiking, swimming, skiing, volunteer work, exersising etc.
Sleep. Make sure you get a good nights sleep. Try to go to bed at the same time every night. You might be suprised as to how beneficial it really is.

You can always post here as well---As I'm sure people would be more than willing to help and give advice. Take it one day at a time. Try not to focus on the past (easier said than done, I know) and try not to focus on the future. You can't change the past and can't predict the future---Only live for the present.

[youOme]

thanks beautifullymistaken, that helps. i think i did make the right choice, that's a definite, but i still can't help my feelings. as far as a reason we split, well, there are many behind the "mutualness". we've been through entirely to much in the short period of time we were together. i always felt like i was in constant competition with his wife, who became his ex wife during our relationship. it was a pretty messed up relationship when i look back on it and it all started with how we got together. he was married.