Help Need

It will be approximately 4 years since my girlfriend and I been seeing each other, for the first six month things were going very well. But then everything going haywire for instance she is divorce mother with a 25 years old living at home. My girlfriend who I will refer as “T” is a very nice person sometime and at time, “T’ behavior is out of control such as violent, physical, shows no affection toward me, never say sorry for any mistake that she admit that it is hers, very irritated when trying to discuss issues, independent with no regards on informing me on her whereabouts. I know for a fact the have very awful divorce. Everytime we argue “t” would say give one more change that I will change also she admit the have a problem. Enormous time she as through me out of the house and I return.
Can any one describe what is happening to her, do I need to stay or leave?

You must decide what is best for you. Perhaps you could ask your friend to see a therapist to deal with the issues you discuss. If she will not, you likely will continue to have the stormy relationship that has been going on for three and half years.

I agree with "TheByzantine", you got to decide what is good for you....but why do you want to stay in a relationship this much bad? it's so damaging to have so much fight and not being happy!!!!
If you want my vote, I would vote to leave her....but it's your decision at the end....

M.

As everyone else has mentioned, you have to do what's best for yourself first. Some people grow up seeing toxic behavior as "normal" and don't realize there is another way to get their thoughts and feelings across and their needs met. It's very sad that there are humans out there that don't know how to express any positive emotions. When you contribute to that behavior, by allowing her to treat you so poorly, the cycle continues.

We've all had horrible experiences in life, difficult marriages, childhoods, trauma's. One cannot use that as an excuse to continue abusive behavior. If you decide this is the relationship you want to be in, make sure you set some boundaries and stick to them. When you see that she's losing control, leave. Do not return until she's rational again. If/when you do return let her know that you love her, but you cannot live under these conditions. Then it's her choice whether to respect your needs or not.

In the meantime, if it were me, I'd set up a plan B. Get my own place to live, expand your social circle. If she's not willing to seek help for her issues, YOU get help. Find a therapist to help you learn to establish boundaries and a healthy self worth so that you do not tolerate abusive behavior.

It's true she will keep this cycle up until you end it.

This may the very reason why she is divorced - I suggest you think long and hard before you invest any more time in this obviously unhealthy relationship.

I am sorry to hear about you "T". It sounds like she might have a mental disorder. Bi=polar comes to mind. We all have issues but there is no excuse for her to treat you like this.

Unfortunately, she needs help and she needs to visit her doctor to control her mood swings and you can continue with your relationship. SOmetimes, something drastic happens, and something in your brain basically becomes unbalance...

Let her talk to her physician and once medication is prescribe...she will be back to normal.

SOrry...Rare