where do i start?

I'm thinking about leaving. But I think that he may in the end get really angry and hurt me or worse.
I don't care about this just not infront of my kids and then they'd have noone. I mean if I'm going to actually fight for my life and happiness. I don't want it to end like that. Scared.

Do you have a brother or brothers who could help you get your belongings out if you decide to leave? Do you have some place to go that is safe? Maybe you should consider a protective order if you are concerned for your safety and the safety of your children and even your life?

It seems that leaving is the wise move. Be smart about it so you have the help you need to get out without being harmed. Good luck.

Please leave him! Do what you need to do so he will not hurt you & your kids. Stay safe!

I don't know were I would go to even I have three kids. My family is really big but I've been married for so long, and have so many things that I feel like what would I do with all of mine and the childrens belongings.
Why should I have to leave our beautiful home?
He's so totally the jerk.
Yet I can't go on like this, I would leave with nothing no money, if I knew we could be safe and at peace. Even him at peace.so he wasn't so angry all the time.

I'm so very sorry you must deal with this.

It would seem to me that the belongings are secondary to that of the safety of you and your kids.
I was in a similar situation regarding my leaving the ex. It took me well over a year to finally leave as I had to conduct my behavior completely on the sly.

What I did was:
1. Open a bank account in my own name, (actually in my maiden name to ensure he could not get into it whatsoever). And I transfered what I could out of our joint account into that one. It was a slow process, but VERY effective, nonetheless. The amounts were so small that they were undetected. I removed by cash, not direct transfer, (didn't want any trails remaining).

2. Rented my own personal storage. And packed things away gradually. (Told him that I was doing 'spring cleaning" so he wouldn't gain suspicions...lol).
This provided me time to pick out the more important things, and leave him the garb to deal with. (I had enough to worry about. I left him the mess to contain with...lol...It was the least he could do...lmao).

3. Used our joint account to pay for anything that I would need for my move, and new place. I bought almost everything I'd need for new place second hand at thrift store. This enabled me to have the essentials without his suspicions of my leaving, and allowed him to pay for it all.

4. Took care of any and all medical, optical & dental needs for self and daughter long before I knew we were leaving.

5. Ensured daughter's school by enrolling her online homeschool as I wasn't exactly sure where we were going to move. This enabled me great freedom of choosing location of residence. THAT has proven a Godsend, to say the least, as the ex couldn't possibly do a trace on us through the school.

6. Began to search my options of locations & opportunities for residence & employment. Sought out options for who can help me for the actual move.

7. Attended to any possible transfers of legal documents, such as titles of vehicles. Took my name off of rental agreement, and all of the bills. Don't want that to sneak up on me and bite me later on.

8. Had my vehicle fully serviced and repaired of anything it might need. Allowed ex to pay for it.

Construct a strategy which will work best for you to get you and kids out safely, without his awareness.
I don't know if you have time to apply such strategy. If you do, begin now, and unfortunately, you must be "sneaky" about it.
I felt bad at first to HAVE to resort to being sneaky, but HE forced me to be. It's only a mere survival strategy. No room for guilt there.

If you don't have the time to construct yourself a safe escape plan, then seek out TRUSTED help for yourself now. Someone who you can rely upon that will support your safe removal.
Without time on your side, you will, unfortunately, have to let go of the materialistic things....even if for now. You might be able to later arrange something for retrieval once you have removed you and your kids safely.

Also~ Attend to finding yourself an attorney for what's to come regarding the protection of you and your kids. And for divorce, later.

I hope this has helped some. I wish you all the safety and best wishes.

Take great care.

Shangrala

If yours or your childrens safety or lives are at immediate risk, contact your local women's shelter. They will advise/help you leave your husband. They should provide you with emergency shelter that is safe and should provide some kind of counseling.

If there isn't an immediate risk, please take Shangrala's suggestions to heart.